Men are only recently comfortably embracing the concept of male beauty. Here’s why.
Newsflash! American men now are more style and health conscious than they’ve ever been. But, why now? Why did it take this long? The reasons are below.
1. Our dad’s didn’t eat salads. This reason is more relevant with Generation X men or Baby Boomers. If you were born in 1953, or 1973, this makes more sense to you. Men from either of these generations were reared by hard, tough guys (dads). Guys who are red meat…and pretty much nothing but red meat. And they drank beer. Not the sexy craft/wheat beer that you or I drink. Our old men and grandfathers drank Pabst Blue Ribbon. Milwaukee’s Best (Beast). Meth in a can. And they smoked. Cigarettes. Like several packs a day. Our fathers (many of them) weren’t the least bit concerned about taking care of themselves health wise or cosmetically.
I’m not sure if it was the world wars, or the depressions and the constant national upheaval of the 20th century, but the men of yesteryear seemed to have a “I’m the toughest sonofabitch in this room, and I’ll eat and drink anything and survive” mentality. Male dieting and cosmetic care barely existed for past male generations. And many of us men grew up with nearly the same habits our dad did. It’s only really been in the last decade that (a good number of them) men (straight men. Gay men have been running circles around straight guys and laughing at them for years) have really begun to take care of themselves.
2. The metro-sexual/pretty boy zone. For years, guys didn’t want to be seen as “pretty” boys. Whether that’s about the American male “code” of being tough, or a form of homophobia, for a long time, guys who were into their looks and male style had an unwritten rule: look handsome, but not “pretty”. As a man, you wanted to check yourself out in the mirror, but not too long. You were supposed to match your outfit, but not coordinate it. Men were afraid of being considered near-feminine.
Roughly a decade ago, the term “metro sexual” entered the lexicon, and many men had a new word to fear. If your haircut was too nice, you could be called a metro-sexual. If your clothes fitted a little too well, you were a metro-sexual. Metro-sexuality unfortunately, was seen, pretty much, as the gateway drug to homosexuality (it was and is still real. I live in one of the least progressive parts of the midwest.)
Currently, it looks like men nationally are actually lining up to be metro-sexuals. Why? Maybe it’s due to Generation X hitting middle age, and having a collective midlife crisis. Or, it could be because straight men are starting to realize that …attractive women like attractive men. Dunno. But, it looks like American male ideas and standards of beauty are changing.
3. Men are just learning how to be beautiful. As a Gen X’er, I can tell you that for years, male early morning prep time was pretty simple. Shower, brush my teeth, shave, put on deodorant, and then clothe myself. If I did go to a gym, it was to gain bulk and muscle, not to tone my body. And the stuff I used to clean myself, soaps, etc., were very basic.
Today, male cosmetic options/items are insanely plentiful. Male body washes. Male body sprays (not cologne. Spray. There’s a difference, I’ve recently realized). Tons of different body washes and sprays. Male lotion. Tons of different kinds of male lotion. A dizzying array of colognes. Basically, in 2014, men have consumer options that they didn’t have even a decade ago. Straight men, if anything, are having a Renaissance of sorts concerning male beauty. Even going to the gym is different for men now. It’s not uncommon to find guys in yoga and spinning classes. And they may not even hit the weight room! Never before have there been so many “tools” for men to help them find their inner matinee idol.
Photo Jessie Pearl/Flickr
I’m so glad that men today are less encumbered by the strict and suffocating standards of the past:D Men ARE beautiful and they should show it they want to! I won’t complain;) Btw, it’s been my experience that men still don’t receive many compliments if any, while they are perfectly willing to shell them out to us women. I have been working on giving nice compliments to men and I must say they really seem to appreciate it! Men are amazing, and lovely to look at<3
What an odd definition of “beauty” coming from a man! So…”beautiful” to you means: being conscientious of your body image, slathering on beauty products, and…being conscientious of your body image. I hate to break this to you, but that is merely how the media wants you to define “beauty”. Companies began marketing to men because the market for women’s beauty products is oversaturated and overdone, and they have been losing money. They are losing money because that isn’t what beauty is about, and women are becoming increasingly aware of that. But men aren’t…yet. Men haven’t been marketed to so aggressively… Read more »
Beauty is what one finds aesthetically pleasing and amusing. YOUR definition vs. someone else’s definition may be radically different. That doesn’t mean the media is lying to people about what is beautiful, it’s that they are targeting a type of beauty, a type of beauty I and many others enjoy. Slim, curvy, sexy women with symmetrical faces, smooth legs, nice tits and big asses. I and MANY OTHER find that BEAUTIFUL. Just cause either you don’t, or you could never live up to that kind of beauty, does not mean it doesn’t OBJECTIVELY exist. Get real.
Love your writing style man.. And yeah.. We are FINALLY getting over the whole pressure of “staying male”.. I’m a yoga teacher, I really like being able to do all kinds of exercise at the gym and not get as many weird looks as before.. There are definitely very little guys attending these kinds of classes (yoga, Pilates, zumba, etc.) at least here in Mexico. Hope this changes keep trending forward.
That is straight North American culture, though. Straight guys WANT it to be like that, and you have to understand it for once and for all. Straight guys won’t put effort into their appearance because they don’t want to, because that is supposed to be “manly” in their heads and because that is something only women (and the gays) are supposed to do – and everything women do is something men should never do,and if they do they are downgrading themselves to the inferior level of the inferior gender. Get it? Why is it so difficult to comprehend or to… Read more »
“Once and for all?” The whole tone of this comment is akin to “straight guys just suck and have brought these problems on themselves, it’s always going to be this way, so deal with it.” I mean, what is your purpose with this comment? That we should just give up and accept it as the way it is? Confirm the grunting, oafish stereotype you seem to hold in such contempt? Sorry, but in my experience men (straight and otherwise) are capable of more than that. I do know the kind of guy you are talking about, but I think it’s… Read more »
Interesting range of replies here. While I think the article itself is kind of entry level in terms of beginning the conversation, it would seem there are still some people who would rather not have the conversation at all. Why IS there such a resistance to the idea of male beauty? And why are we hung up on the idea that focusing on beauty in any way is somehow shallow or wrong? I don’t think the cultural wars about the focus on female beauty were about completely eliminating the idea of beauty–they were about realizing that there was more beyond… Read more »
This article goes in the wrong direction, I think.
Male beauty has very little to do with products.
And all the women I know think metrosexual is real unattractive.
I have never heard of a woman who respects a man who is so concerned with his looks that he takes longer in the bathroom than she does.
But why should she lose respect for him just because he cares about his physical appearance? Why should it be OK for her to be concerned about her looks, but not him?
I am a woman who respects a man who is so concerned with his looks that he takes longer in the bathroom than I do. I just dislike when they take too long in the shower, bur that is only because we need to save water and the planet. 😛
Wow, what sweeping generalisations!
My father didn’t drink, didn’t smoke and was a vegetarian.
Not everything can be compartmentailsed into neat little piles and then written about Greg.
Reason #1 is confusing image with reality. It’s confusing nostalgia with history. That whole “back in my day men were men” and “vegetables are what food eats” has been overblown. Take a look at ads from the “Greatest Generation” and you’ll see a LOT of men concerned with their looks, influenced by fashion, etc. You think they wore fedoras and wingtips and zoot suits because they were practical?
The men born in 1900 laughed at their Greatest Generation sons for smoking cigarettes (those are for girls!) and wearing pleated pants (get a real job!).
I have to say – men’s beauty isn’t about what’s on the outside. Men are beautiful for so many reasons, including that they are: courageous, loving, strong, vulnerable, open, deep-feeling, funny, fun, clever, intelligent, silly, serious, skilled, searching, etc etc etc. These things make men beautiful. Not hair products or gym memberships.
Men can be really beautiful on the outside as well. Inner beauty is what lasts and is the most important, that is for sure. But really, saying men are beautiful on the outside – and they are! – is something that also needs to be said.
What is on the outside is still what first attracts people. And for all the men that could feel insecure about that: yes, women also think you are deserving of longing for your body.
“deserving of longing for your body”? Maybe it’s because English is not my first language, but I don’t understand this sentence. Are you saying insecurity is justified? If it is then why just for men?
Julie, could you please clarify what you meant by the last sentence you used in your comment, as the commenter above has also requested? Thanks!
I think the point is we are not considered attractive, this is not about whats inside.
In her account of her son Daniel’s progress from infancy to the verge of adolescence, feminist author/academic Judith Arcana notes (“Every Mother’s Son: The Role of Mothers In the Making Of Men, Seal Press/The Women’s Press) that” he has it still the beauty of little boys who have not been taught that the male body should be rigid”.
It is a proven fact that although there are mothers who are jealous of their daughters’ beauty, there has never been one who resented a son’s good looks!
Terry
I have many met men who were gorgeous. Some knew it and used it. Some were unsure what to do with it. Some seemed unaware of how gorgeous they were. While I believe that beauty can be found anywhere, and there have been times when a man is a walking work of art, it is inward beauty that lasts.
hated this article. I don’t think it has any place in the magazine. Why focus on outward beauty? isn’t this what women have been fighting against and are still fighting? I’m a big guy and not buying it.
Because outward beauty is part of who we are. Women fight against patronizing and boxing outward beauty, the narrow beauty standards and the notion that the outwards beauty is the most important. Not to just disregard, reject and invalidate it.
First time seeing Gen-xer middle aged in writing. The grunge set getting old, hit me in the heart.
I have to agree with these. The first two are particularly true and you start seeing a change in it. Still, most men are still pretty insecure around calling it “beauty” or thinking that a guy could be called that possibly.
Nice article. Next thing is to make this word gender neutral in english by using it in male contexts too.
Definitely! Why is there different words anyway? English is my second language, but for me “handsome” and “beautiful” are exact synonyms, except that for some mysterious reason one can only be used on men and one only on women.
I understand it is even worse in Spanish, where there are many words for beauty which can only be used on women. Can someone confirm this here?