Getting honest with yourself is the secret to success.
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As men, we always want to feel and appear strong. We’re MEN for Pete’s sake! There are things we struggle with, but do a good job keeping to our self.
Overcoming struggles starts with admitting they are there.
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With the rise of the Internet and social media, we get a glimpse into each other’s lives. Since it’s public, we want to share the best of what’s going on in our lives. While we celebrate each other’s victories, we know there’s something missing. No one’s life is always that good.
I’m not saying that we have to share every detail of our lives, or only share the bad parts, but being honest about the bad with the good would help everyone. There are friends and family that would cheer and be a shoulder to lean on through hard times–if we let them.
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Overcoming struggles starts with admitting they are there. Here are three things guys struggle with but are afraid to admit to themselves and others.
1. Hating what we do for “work.”
Work occupies a large part of our week. We try to leave work at work, but when you spend that much of your time doing something, it’s hard to keep all the emotions in a box. Whatever struggles and emotions you experience will spill over into the rest of your life.
Our economy in the United States is still recovering, and a good job isn’t easy to find these days. Because of the circumstances, we tell our self that we should be grateful for the job we have. While we should be grateful, we can’t confuse gratefulness with complacency. You can be grateful for a job and still look for a better one that suits the kind of lifestyle you want to live.
The stats tell us there are very few men that like or get fulfillment from the work they do. Too many of us stay quite while we struggle through a job we hate. Life is too short to live this way, and it is having an effect on other areas of your lives. Admit that you don’t like what you do and look for something better. It’s not just a job; this could apply to a business you have. You have the power to get a better “work” situation for yourself.
2. Getting complacent in a “good enough” life.
It took the death of my father at 54 to teach me how short and precious life is. I knew life is short, I can look at my kids and remember when they were babies, but they’re little adults now. I knew life is short, but I lived like I was immortal. For years, I was complacent in a good enough life.
Life feels good when things are going well. We deal with so much crap that it’s nice when things go as planned. There’s a danger in getting comfortable, especially if you have unfilled goals and dreams. Each of us should never settle until we reach our dream life. We should constantly and consistently look to grow. Stepping outside of your comfort zone is scary, but can lead to a life most men only dream of.
3. Waiting for permission to make “radical” changes.
We have gotten so complacent in life that when someone makes big changes, we think of them as radical. In 2013, we told our family that we were moving from Milwaukee, Wisconsin to Maui, Hawaii. People thought we were nuts.
I could give you story after story of men that overcame great odds to live their dream life.
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There are dreams in our minds and hearts that seem radical, but aren’t. Too often we wait for all the stars to align before we do something about our dreams. We wait for permission to claim the life we truly want.
Stop waiting for permission because if you do, life will pass you by. None of us is guaranteed a tomorrow–all we have is right now. Stop dreaming and start living!
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Thinking about making big changes in our life is scary and overwhelming. Chances are there are some guys reading this that have already given up on the goals and resolutions they set for themselves at the beginning of this year.
It’s not easy, and it takes too long, but life is too short to give up or give in. We only get one life to live, and we should do everything we can to make it count.
I could give you story after story of guys who overcame great odds to live their dream life. I won’t. I challenge you to look inside of you and start believing in yourself and your dream. Stop waiting for permission to claim the life you truly deserve.
Admit the things you struggle with and determine to do something about those struggles this year. It starts with getting honest. Only you know what’s going on in your mind.
What is your big dream?
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This post is republished on Medium.
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We also struggle with comparing ourselves to others. Doing so pretty much guarantees unhappiness.
Agreed George 🙂
Kimanzi, you are so right. Comparing ourselves to others can be deadly.
Mahalo Suellen 🙂
Dear Kimanzi,
This is great. Thank you! I am writing about my experience as a stay at home father, and would love to please talk with you more about your experiences.
My best,
Christopher
Christopher T. Bakker
(773) 663 7029
[email protected]
Aloha Christopher! You can reach me at [email protected] 🙂