Stories hold power. It’s an undisputed fact. Expertly told, a good story can send us soaring to the heights of triumph or drop us into a pit of ugly-crying despair.
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Admit it, you’ve been there. I only have to say the name “Rudy” and your mind’s eye conjures up Notre Dame Stadium packed to the rafters with fans in coats and hats, cheering for a “five-foot-nothing, a hundred and nothing” practice squad member. You can hear the roar of the crowd when, against the odds, Rudy takes the field and makes the final sack of the game. That familiar lump forms in your throat, right? That’s the power of a good story.
Story has been used since the dawn of man to transfer history, ideas, and faith.
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Because of the unique impact stories have on our psyche, they’re one of the most effective forms of teaching. Story has been used since the dawn of man to transfer history, ideas, and faith. First through oral tradition and then through the written word. The good news is that dads can learn to expertly wield this “ancient” tool in the lives of their children.
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Here are three ways dads can use story to teach their kids:
1. Tell stories of when you were growing up.
Your kids love to hear about when you were little. But don’t just recite the stories of when you did everything right. Think back to the good and the bad situations. Stories of bullies, failing grades, losing the game, and broken hearts can give your kids hope. Seeing that you made it through to the other side of adversity shows them they can do it, too. Not to mention, these stories are usually the ones that produce the most laughter and bonding moments between you and your kids.
2. Partner up with the entertainment industry.
Movies aren’t just for entertainment anymore. The right movie seen at just the right time can make a profound effect on the viewer. Look for movies that highlight a quality or trait you want to develop in your child. Movies like Rudy or Remember the Titans are great for illustrating hard work, perseverance, and overcoming adversity. The Incredibles can teach the importance of family. Even The Avengers can teach things like leadership (Captain America) and mercy (Thor’s soft spot for his brother even after Loki has betrayed him repeatedly).
But all stories don’t take two hours to tell. There are options that can be easily inserted into the rhythms of your family life. Flip on a DVR’d ESPN’s 30 for 30 while you’re getting ready for work and school in the morning. These shows are 30-minute biographies highlighting people in all walks of life. They’re real-life stories of achievement, generosity, faith, and strength. It’s a great way to put perspective on life before leaving the house every day.
3. Read with them.
Be tuned into to the times they’re ready to talk and put everything aside to focus on them.
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Don’t read just anything, but pick stories that reveal the human condition. “There is nothing new under the sun,” is a verse from the book of Ecclesiastes that Shakespeare paraphrased in his Sonnet #59. Like no other writer in history, Shakespeare knew that humans continue to repeat the same stories over and over in their lives. We can help our kids potentially avoid mistakes if we teach them to recognize what bad choices look like when they’re coming at them. Reading stories of heroes and heroines who make mistakes and learn from them is critical and will serve kids well in life.
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While all these types of stories can make a big impact, the most important part is talking about them afterward. It doesn’t have to be formal or even immediately after. Let’s face it, too much forced talk about life can be awkward and then everyone will want to avoid it. Make it casual. Some kids need time to ponder the movie or book. It may be a few days later when they bring it up and have questions. Or maybe when you’re just hanging out, you might ask what the story meant to them. Just don’t miss the moment. Be tuned into to the times they’re ready to talk and put everything aside to focus on them. They’ll appreciate it. And even though they don’t realize it yet, they’ll remember it as some of the best times they had with their dad.
What stories made an impact on your life growing up?
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