30 Relationship Tips for Guys—From Two Girls Under 10

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About Thomas G. Fiffer

Thomas G. Fiffer, Ethics Editor at The Good Men Project, is a graduate of Yale and holds an M.A. in creative writing from the University of Illinois at Chicago. He posts daily on his blog, Tom Aplomb, and serves as Editor of Westport's HamletHub, a local online news and information service. He is also a featured storyteller with MouseMuse Productions and is working on his first novel.

Comments

  1. Talk about high expectations!

  2. They’ll realize when they’re older that they’re gonna have to overlook about 28 of those things.

  3. It SADDENS me little bit that these girls already have high expectation on opposite sex at such a young age. Is it because media(movies, tvshows, books) have shown little girls what a “boyfriend” really should be at a young age? Is school teaching them this? Or the parents?? I think it’s super important to not tell kids exactly what a good man looks like..since they come in different shape and sizes and the perfect man with be perfect to that individual. So if the answers are yes, then, why are parents and media pressing on girls to expect the greatest and best of a guy at a young age? I want to know opinion from a man’s point of view, does this make you feel lesser? Like you have to achieve more? Are you pressured into it? Do you feel like you are somewhat judged already before you even open your mouth to talk? I know this is how our society is and is working right now..but it’s sad. I still enjoyed the article..it was cute..but makes me wonder a lot about the new generations.

    • Valentyna, I think at a young age we often have high expectations–dreams of a wonderful, dreamy life with a princess or a prince. What charmed me about this list was its honesty, the lack of materialism (aside from the nice jewelry and going out for nice meals, and note these are “nice” and not “expensive”), and the theme of self-respect (eats healthy, takes care of body, brushes teeth and floss). I don’t mind that women hold men to standards such as these, while I would have found desires for wealth, power, and supreme athleticism both judgmental and objectionable. I also think–or perhaps hope–that the younger generations are growing up more tolerant, particularly of alternative choices and lifestyles, and embracing more egalitarian relationships. One of my favorite items on the list was “likes YOUR job,” with its implied assumption that the girlfriend or wife will naturally be working.

    • Why would I feel lesser to know what women want? Why would the thoughts of children hurt me? My confidence comes from within, not what children say. Although, it is quite obvious that these girls have some common sense. Lots of good stuff here. I WOULD SAY there is some programming here because they don’t mention the strength and confidence that women are attracted to. What would happen if this site put up what boys would like? Probably get flamed for making girls feel insecure. What we have here is a fun guy with a good job that is good to people. Not too much to aspire to.

      • Steve, You make the excellent point that it’s important to know what a potential partner is looking for in a mate in response to Valentyna’s sensitivity to the issue of how a list of “desirable traits” might make a man feel. If boys put pretty or heaven forbid “skinny” on a similar list, they would be flamed and charred, but would it be unreasonable—or poorly received—if a boy said he wanted his girlfriend to have a good job, take him out to nice dinners, and maintain her health and appearance? Underlying the fun guy with a good job who is good to people—none of which can be taken for granted—is the implication that the man these girls want is stable, reliable, mentally well-balanced, and easy to get along with, qualities that may seem bland and basic but without which a healthy relationship cannot exist.

  4. Theorema Egregium says:

    The interesting thing here is that I was fully prepared to find those girls extremely conservative (as I suspect most children to be by default), but it turned out not to be like that at all — at least mostly. You might conceivably take
    8. takes you to nice places
    9. nice place
    11. nice jewlery
    18. has a good job
    to mean that a man is expected to be wealthy and providing. Although I admit that I have no idea if girls of that age by “good job” mean CEO or something like chocolate sommelier or video game tester. :-)

    But on the whole the list is — happily — very far removed from Disney princess fantasies.

    Unfortunately my last name is rather weird. :-D

    • 8. Does not mean she would not take him to nice places as well, or that he has to pay.
      9. Again, the same as 8, I guess?
      11. Maybe she meant HE has to wear nice jewlery? If not, maybe she would also buy nice things for him as well?
      18. Isn’t that a good thing? A good job can be a job you enjoy. The same goes for them; they should get a good job they enjoy, and I guess most open-minded boys would like their gf to have good jobs as well.

Trackbacks

  1. […] 30 Relationship Tips for Guys—From Two Girls Under 10 by Thomas G. Fiffer (186 words) Thank heaven for little girls for without them, what would little boys do? ___ There’s no shortage of advice from women for men on how to conduct themselves in a relationship. But these gems from two young girls—ages 6 and 9—let us in on what really matters. http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/30-relationship-tips-guys-two-girls-10-fiff/ […]

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