Love is the most powerful thing on the planet. It can get you to do things that you have never done. It can get you to see things you have never seen, and it can move mountains.
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When I first met my wife, I was knee-deep in love. I was ecstatic to see her and even got goose bumps with just the thought of her. I can say that there wasn’t a minute during the day that I did not think of my wife. She was only my girlfriend at the time, but I had visions of her being my bride.
Overfamiliarity sets in, and now you are finding yourself just going through the motions.
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Love is the most powerful thing on the planet. It can get you to do things that you have never done. It can get you to see things you have never seen, and it can move mountains. But at some point during the marriage, you start to take for granted the fact that your wife… is now your wife. You now live together and see each other day in and day out.
Overfamiliarity sets in, and now you are finding yourself just going through the motions. What happened to that feeling?
You stopped doing the things that made her fall in love with you in the first place. Why? So how do I fall back in love again? You need to step up and be a better husband. No more going through the motions. You need to focus on her and her needs as a woman and see to it that she knows that she is important to you.
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Break the selfish life you have lived up to this point.
There is nothing like being a selfless person. Your desires need to be for your marriage and not yourself. Shift your thinking. Put yourself last and put her first. When you can conquer this mindset, you are building momentum to establish a happy home. See to it that you understand her needs and that you want to meet them. Sit down and talk. Take the initiative!
Study her.
When you become overfamiliar with your wife, you stop learning who she’s becoming. You know that you’re not the same person you used to be. Well, I’ve come to tell you that she’s not the same either. Just because you are different does not mean you can’t stay together.
I hear this all too often, “I am not the same person I used to be, and I’ve fallen out of love.” You should focus on growing yourself and growing as a married couple. This means you need to take the time to discover and study her like you did when you first met.
Take your children off the pedestal.
This is a huge one in a marriage. All too often parents will take to a child more than the other spouse. You both should come before your children to each other. I’m not saying that children are secondary. But, when it comes to a marriage, nothing should come between a husband and wife.
In society, we see that children get away with a lot of things by going to one parent with their requests. If the other parent should disagree, this can cause separation within the home. Come together as a team. Establish unity within the home. Your children will thank you down the road!
Forgive and forget the past.
Stop holding on to what has happened in the past. We all make mistakes and fail at some point in our lives. If your wife has hurt you, forgive her. The key here is to not only forgive–you need to forget as well.
Let her know that you value her and that you don’t want an angry marriage.
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The most powerful thing besides love is forgiveness. True forgiveness will make your marriage strong. How can you ask for forgiveness when you can’t forgive? Think about it!
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Final takeaways.
Be the best version of yourself, as a man, and love your wife! I can’t stress this enough. Take her by the hand and love on her. Trust her, forgive her, and make peace within yourself and your home.
Let her know that you value her and that you don’t want an angry marriage. Let her know that you want to see a breakthrough in your relationship. Step up and you will see positive changes in your life, your marriage, your family, and your home.
Here’s to your Massive Impact.
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Photo: Flickr/ Eke Miedaner
That goes both ways. My failing marriage is plagued w past hurt that has been repeatedly repeated so it becomes a point of he does it intentionally. He swears no but you know better as a woman. Building trust though that’s tough on both ends. My husband was the bread winner. I have almost no education just street smarts and looks. I know how in the hell does someone born in to white trash come up to marry a professional….idk but I am lucky to have just him. He lost that professional job and we were going to fall quickly.… Read more »
Wow. I’m sorry to hear your situation. I truly believe that forgiveness heals all wounds and that’s where I would start but it works both ways of course. I pray that your situation gets better.