Chris Armstrong has a thing for older ladies. Here’s why.
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In the nine years I’ve been divorced, online dating has been my sanctuary. I’ve been on Match.com, OKCupid and Plenty of Fish, just to name a few. It’s been a roller coaster for a lot of different reasons and in a lot of different ways. People don’t look like their pictures. I get a lot of catfish. Everyone likes to go out and stay in, this being an earth shattering thing apparently. I know what you’re thinking, ‘join the club!’. Well, don’t mind if I do. And whilst I pay my club dues and RSVP for the annual online singles convention in Skokie, Illinois, I will be sure to polish up my induction speech.
I will talk about my favorite breakup songs, the worst first date story and those two pesky questions I get that most people probably don’t.
Question 1: How is it that a relationship coach is single and on a dating site?
Answer: The fact that I’m good at reading people and helping people figure out who they are and who they are not, among other things, has absolutely nothing to do with how difficult or easy it is to find someone I connect with. And since I am single, I choose online dating over bars and Whole Foods fraternization.
Question 2: Why does your desired age range only go five years younger than you but 10 years older?
Answer: Because, generally speaking, I prefer dating older women.
Question 1 can really throw people off until I explain myself fully but question 2 draws a lot more questions, some annoyances and some applause. None of this is required of course since my preferences have nothing to do with anything except the chemistry I have with people. And by the way, you can’t invent chemistry.
People make assumptions that I simply like to chase cougars. They’ll make assumptions that it’s all about the idea that older women must have more money and thus I’m dating them in the hopes of getting some inheritance whilst I sleep with younger women on the side. My favorite is the presumption that I had or have mommy issues that I can’t let go of. So, once and for all, I will open myself up to the world by explaining, in the most rational way I can, why I prefer to date older women. And before you crucify me, I will admit a couple things:
- I am making generalizations on both sides of the age spectrum. Got it. Thanks for letting me know.
- I am making generalizations on both sides of the age spectrum. Got it. Thanks for letting me know.
- Yes, I do realize that I just said the same thing twice. I did it for effect. I hope it worked.
1. I like experience and no, I don’t mean some ‘Graduate’ experience like that which Dustin Hoffman got from Anne Bancroft. I mean the experience that comes from having lived through difficult situations and coming out strong on the other side. Simply put, I’d rather not date someone that has lived in a bubble or always walked the yellow brick road.
2. I like true confidence and, in my experience, women get wholly confident as they age. This is largely because they’ve lived through doubt and self-image issues before coming to the conclusion that they are who they are and people can take them or leave them.
3. Susan Sarandon and Sigourney Weaver. And Julia Louise Dreyfuss. And Dana Delaney in Tombstone. And Geena Davis. And Tajari Henson. And Alfre Woodard. Need I go on?
4. I want to age with my partner and not away from my partner. Put a different way, when it comes to livelihood and things in the bedroom, among other things, women age slower than men. As such, dating someone older means, to me, that we will be on the same wavelength in a lot of areas as we get older together. I will fully admit I get skeptical about a 54 year-old man being able to keep up with a 42 year-old woman that he’s been married to for 10 years. And I say this as a man that also believes you’re only as old as you think you are. I’m conflicted with Reason 4 but my head and my heart are here more often than not.
Now, I’d like to do a slight of hand, mainly so that I may escape this article unscathed, by ‘virtually’ playing one of the best songs in the entire world as sung by my favorite female singer-songwriter who just happens to be younger than me.
‘Ne Me Quitte Pas’ by Regina Spektor
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This article originally appeared on Divorced Moms.
Flickr/Christian Gonzalez
I am 54 seeing a lady who is 67! I aproached her thinking she was about 58. I had already decided she was the one before she revealed her age. It took 3 hours to get over the shock. Now I dont care and have held her hand in public and loved her in the bedroom. What a beautiful, confident creature she is. Looking back, Ive dated 3 women 10 years older than me in the past. Im attracted to the person not a number. I was looking for a quality lady at my church and after a year, found… Read more »
*Sleight of hand
I don’t know what your deal is. But science says women age FASTER than men. Keep up? Women are totally sexually dead after menopause, and that typically occurs between 40-49. Men don’t go through menopause, they keep wanting to bang until they’re dead as long as they’re healthy and in decent shape. All men, biologically, prefer young women. The most desirable women are the most fertile and genetically fit, usually between 16-24. Women become less desirable every year after finishing puberty. In order to prevent men from killing each other, and older women from being totally neglected from social groups,… Read more »
Ha. Haha. Hahahahaha. Women, I believe are “totally sexually dead” with YOU after menopause. Young ones will fake it to be nice. Older women won’t usually.
Omg that is all the OPPOSITE of what science says. Love when dumb ppl bring up ‘science’. Haha.
Men do have a menopause actually. Women do not lose sexuality. They gain. Men lose. Nature btw stops men from getting it up for s reason. Lol
Men do tend to age more gradually when compared to women, but I don’t think a woman’s sexual desire necessarily wanes that much. Also, men die sooner. And I cannot believe you think older women are marketed more..that is insane. Every single model in every single poster, magazine, etc etc. is young….many sexualized too young! This is a youth obsessed culture. What an idiotic comment you made.
After 47 years with this woman,. She is now 86, and I am 72, the above is BS. I was 22 and she 34 which was great at the time. I stayed with her out of loyalty, not a good reason for any relationship.
Because of her hang-ups, I was never able to please her.