You have to give yourself permission to fail. Because it will happen a lot.
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Last week marked the end of mental health awareness month, but I took a few extra days to reflect over the realizations I’ve had in a short span of time. I’ve also gotten deeply connected with my spiritual side. Learning the significance of having a close relationship with God, I’m keenly aware of how it can shape your attitude about life and the world.
So it didn’t totally surprise me when I opened my bible app the other day and saw an eerily familiar verse of the day.
There are no shortage of lessons, parables, and allegories in the bible that preach a small group of themes. One of the most common themes is resilience.
Life is going to chew you up and spit you out; some of us more than others. What makes us all individuals is our mental fortitude. The test of that is the willingness to throw your hands up and take your losses.
Here are some reasons why you should surrender to the punches in the mouth that life delivers:
- Failure is fuel. When you miss the mark on a goal or fail horribly, you can take the time to look at where you went wrong. One of the things I’ve recognized in my life is that my successes have rested on the knowledge of admitting my mistakes. Once you get over the disappointment of failure, you can pivot your energy into rebuilding from the ashes.
- No pain goes to waste. The hard times that we go through shape our character. We’re molded by our struggles. When hard times befall you, you harp on the singular question of why is it happening to me. But the fact is whatever painful experiences that happen to you are going to reveal something about you that will alter the course of your life.
- You’re not the first. You won’t be the last. We sometimes think our life experiences are unique. Having a myopic view can prolong the suffering. Those people are the ones who find themselves going through the same type of situation over and over. I say that because I was one of them. When you recognize that what you’ve gone through has been already overcome by someone, somewhere, you won’t allow yourself to stay down and wallow.
- You’re not teflon. I have a friend who used to pride himself on the idea that nothing bad had happened to him. He worked in a relatively dangerous job and in the near decade, he’d never been physically harmed. A few years back though there was a shooting at a club where he was employed. Someone died, but he was fine. After that experience, he was never quite the same. He’d been humbled in the most damaging manner and it affected him to the point that he left the industry. No one is immune to trials and tribulations. Truthfully, life often folds you up when you’re having the time of your life.
- Life is circular. The verse that prompted this was about discipline. Hebrews 12:11 roughly states that discipline is painful in the process but it reaps a harvest; that being a peaceful existence. The verse came up on the exact same day a year later. It was not only a sign but a reminder. When the storm rages, when you feel like you’re drowning, when you feel like you have no fight in you, ALWAYS remember your why.
Everyone experience the effects of mental illness differently. For me, I retreat inside my head. Writing about my anxiety and knowing I’m not the only one has helped immensely. However, as a way of coping, I’ve learned how to look beyond what I can see.
You have to give yourself permission to fail. Because it will happen a lot. Men are deserving of grace and forgiveness when we fall short. It’s at rock bottom where men find out who they are and become all that they are meant to be.
Also by James Woodruff
How Therapy Made Me a Better Man | 3 Steps to Rebuilding Trust After One Partner Cheats |
5 Ways You Sabotage Your Relationships Without Even Realizing It |
A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
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Photo: Getty Images