The sometimes smart men at The Good Men Project share advice. Today, one of those guys dishes on the wonderful things about women that drive men crazy. In a good way.
1. Your personality. Yes, you. Plain ol’ you. Your personality. Your sharp wit. Your dry sense of humor. Your worldview. Being yourself is key to attraction to a good guy. The goons and the Cro-Magnon’s of the world may not like your quirky personality, but a quality man will go crazy for it. Because the “you” is genuine. True. Pure. And, to a guy worth a damn, very, very sexy.
2. Your looks. Let’s be honest. Physical attraction is big. Especially in the cosmetically obsessed 21st century. But, being hot is totally subjective. Megan Fox may be hot to many men. But Zooey Deschanel is just as hot to a group of men as well. When a woman finds her own personal “beautiful”, and flaunts that, that’s when the men she’s meant to attract will go crazy for her. Many, many men aren’t looking for runway models. They’re looking for their kind of hot.
3. Your imperfections. Sound crazy? It’s not. When a man is in to a woman, he won’t overlook a woman’s blemishes, he’ll accept and embrace them. Lauren Hutton’s famous gap toothed smile didn’t stop men from drooling over her. Smart men know that no one is perfect…they themselves are flawed! A good man will see the moles a woman may have, her love handles, and her funny looking calves and know that they are a part of the that lady that’s stolen their hearts.
4. Your Style. Is your personal style trendy? Are you “up” on the latest fashions? Or, is your sense of style more alternative? Are you more of a vintage style, thrift store girl? Whatever your style is, if you wear it with conviction, if it’s authentically you, then that will drive a “special” man crazy. In a good, sexy way.
5. Your sexuality. Sex and sexuality is a very important part adult of life. It’s an important part of attraction as well. Different people possess different kinds of sexuality. If you are a woman who possess a smoldering, take no prisoners kind of sexuality/sex appeal, best believe there’s a man out there who will go gaga over you. But, a woman on the other end of that spectrum can attract a man as well. Women who have a subtle, low key sexuality will more than likely attract the kind of man that loves the hint of sex appeal more than an a bolder form sexiness.
Thoughts? Responses? Talk to me in our comments section!
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Photo nylonmagazine/Flickr
I hate that these articles always say, this is what men like. But if you’re the opposite of that men like that too! In an attempt to not offend anyone, it renders the advice as to what men want useless.
Yes Jen I am a man that likes a woman w/short hair. A woman that wears a dress or a skirt. I like personality. I don’t like woman that all she has to offer is that she is pretty. Style and sexuality are going to be different w/every woman.
Overall this is a good idea for a column. I take issue with comparing Megan Fox and Zooey Deschanel because they certainly LOOK so very similar. Ok, so one is ‘Hot’ and the other is ‘cute’ but the long black hair and their look is the same. There are so many more types to compare.
Hi David … I agree. That comparison between Zoe and Megan seemed out of sync with the rest of the article. It’s like saying “a man will find you attractive as long as you are a relatively young and glamourous Hollywood celebrity looking type”. I get the surface comparison you were seeking to make, but did you unwittingly reveal something different about what you, speaking on behalf of “most men” find attractive? Comparisons like that are unlikely to engender a sense of acceptance and openness in the average woman. I speak from my years of experience as a Psychologist.
I think the only one you’re missing is heart! My boyfriend tells me often that he fell in love with my heart. The way I treat the people around me, my passions for my art and my work, all the things that I am excited about. And honestly, it’s what made me fall in love with him too. I love watching him love things and get excited about things that have nothing to do with me. It reminds me that even after all these years, he can still surprise me and excite me and throw himself into the world. 🙂
Great article! Thanks 🙂
As much as I like the points in the original post, I think there should be room for an addition, which may fall third among all: involvement. The fight/flight approach to certain routine habits as well as new experiences can vary, yet be an indicator of who can help provide for how long. No-one of either gender is willing to accept being both discouraged and exhausted by another person, which is why a dynamic is essential.
Yo Gregg, In relationship we all attract to us the “kind of person ” that is the mirror image of how we think and feel about ourselves in relationships. Everything and everyone is our mirror. It is only when we understand what it truly means to see ourselves reflected back at us, that there is then no room for blame, there is no room for judgment and there is no room to feel like a victim of another person’s actions or words. I learned this universal truth about myself by choosing to travel a challenging journey of growth where I… Read more »
one more thank you Greg ;)! for including the first four -they do make me feel better!- but especially for also mentioning number five…. as I’m more comfortable with making love when I really want to with my man (instead of ‘it’s Friday’ or ‘it has been awhile’) reading this made me realize that although we are a great match, also in our desires, I did feel uncounsiously guilty and insecure about my ‘lack of sexual appetite’, even though he tells me he’s so happy I don’t chase him around the house :). this article made me more aware of… Read more »
Thank you, Greg. This is a beautiful, heartfelt piece – and, hey, I’m feeling slightly better about my funny-looking calves already! <3
And so …. I never met a good man cause I m still single
“Many, many men aren’t looking for runway models. They’re looking for their kind of hot.” That is true. But then again, most men will take the runway model over any other woman, only for her looks. And again, unfortunately, even for the rest of these men, their “kind of hot” is still too high and much higher than their own “league”, so to speak. Be it the effort put into their looks, the body type, the imperfections accepted… men still expect women, even if only subconsciously, to be prettier, to be more vain, to put even more effort into their… Read more »
And?
I know many men can be, well, slobs. That being said, do most women want a man who cares about his appearance in the stereotypical levels attributed to women?
Most men that I know want a real woman, alleged flaws and all. Saying that men really just want runway models is like saying what women really want are Chippendale dancers or the models on the covers of the bodice ripper romance novels.
The fantasy of a supermodel, for either sex, maybe entertaining. But for me, I’d take the cellulite, wicked wit, and the loving heart anytime.
Wishing you well.
I thoroughly enjoy every article I’ve read on GMP, particularly refreshing since the internet is full of morale-deflating examples of immaturity accepted as inevitability. However I decided to comment on this piece. Though simple (and has quite a few [endearing] type errors), I found this article incredibly empowering. The words “her own personal ‘beautiful'” particularly struck a note with me. As a young lady going through my own maturation process, I’ve found that past the dichotomy of body/fat-shaming (leading women to eating disorders on one end) or fat-acceptance (intentionally insisting the acceptance of obesity as a reaction), there is actually… Read more »
Drea, you are very welcome 🙂 Glad I could make you feel empowered!
I personally LOVED this particular article. John, I may be wrong; but I don’t think the author’s motivations are as deep as you interpreted. At least that’s not what I got out of it. The more I read-I felt more and more strengthened, accepted, and cherished just for being me. Funny part is that a man I don’t even know, made me feel safe; and secure, in my own skin, and my own spirit; simply by uttering a sentiment about the vast and varying array of qualities that are attractive in a woman. It is truly rare, to discover in… Read more »
Wow! Thank you ,Melissa 🙂 I hope that more women someday realize that they are uniquely beautiful. Real men don’t like clones 😉
Same goes for you, Greg, I’m sure you and especially the other male readers of The Good Men Project are multifaceted, exceptional, real human beings. We women, our brains are our number one sex organ, as you may well know. So these words are a salve for a woman’s heart and a boost to the female libido. I’m 51, (date younger men who are my physical match) who find me “cute” with my big, bright, smiling brown eyes, soft skin, billowy afro, disease/illness-free and my stellar education and life experiences makes me interesting. Head up, chin down, like a prizefighter,… Read more »
” Is your personal style trendy? Are you “up” on the latest fashions?” I see two options, why you may write this: – are you in any way getting money for writing that? – what gossip magazines newsfeed do you follow, to know about the latest fashion? There are reasons, why in newspapers that have heterosexual men as their target readers “latest fashion” and “trendyness” are no buzzwords. And the reason is that we dont want to be up to date in regards to fashion and we dont care about our women beeing it. The rest about fashion seems fitting… Read more »
I don’t think most straight men in America understand what fashion is about and dismiss it – only to show they actually believe it has a purpose in the end. Let’s see: do most straight dudes enjoy it when women wear the same boring clothes you men generally wear in the USA? Say, Ellen Degeneres. If you guys don’t care about fashion at all, why many of you believe that is too masculine and not that appealing when women do not follow the fashion rules and trends for women? Most of you guys actually do want women who dress in… Read more »
Glad to know this article made you feel “emboldened”. It’s an honor, actually 😉
This gives me the courage to tell all those men who feel compelled to inform me that they “prefer women with long hair” to take a damn hike. There are men out there who LOVE my hair. (And my cheekbones, ears, neck, shoulder blades, and everything else a pixie cut shows off!) Thank you for writing this. I feel emboldened to be myself… 🙂
Yes, Jen, there are. Some of us love short hair and the personal energy it flaunts.
So, did you ask Jen out? 😉
Jen, I too have a pixie cut. I’ve been asked out more times with this style of cut than when I had long, flowing hair. I think it has more to do with my higher level of self-confidence now and the fact that it makes me stand out. Go get ’em! #shorthairdontcare