When you write to get in touch with your feelings, you help yourself to feel better emotionally, improve your brain health, and allow yourself to lead a more authentic life.
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The comedian Louis C.K. was chatting with the talk show host, Conan, about how much he hates cell phones, and one of the reasons is because it allows us to run away from our feelings. He relates the story of driving alone in the car, listening to the radio. A Bruce Springsteen song came on that made him feel sad. His first impulse was to reach for his cell phone to quickly text to his “friends” on social media. Then he said no.
All of what he experiences goes into his comedy routines.
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He pulled over on the side of the road and let himself feel the sadness and have a really good cry. Immediately after, he had a wonderful feeling of release and chemicals such as dopamine surged through his body to make him feel better.
Louis said he was grateful that he allowed himself to feel those feelings because that’s what it is to be human. All of what he experiences goes into his comedy routines, but feeling your emotions is good for the average guy, too. Here are six ways you can get in touch with your feelings through writing.
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Be Your Own Man
When you write, you can explore what is important to you or what you want out of life. The media images of masculinity can be overwhelming, so taking some time to reflect on them and decide if they fit with your values can lead to a more defined and comfortable sense of self.
Heal The Past
Growing up isn’t easy for any of us, but it’s especially hard when you’ve had differences with your dad. Writing about your life can help you focus on the good parts. And, at the same time, it helps you choose what you want to put out there, what kind of dad or male role model you want to be. It also helps you to understand the differences between the generations and then let go of the parts of the past that aren’t serving you anymore.
Leave A Legacy
So many people I’ve met say they wished they had asked their relatives more questions about their growing up years. They have such regret about that but admit they were too busy living life to give it much thought at the time. Writing about your experiences now instead of later means they are fresh in your mind, and those stories will be there when your kids or future generations are ready to hear them.
Build A Community
Writing is a solitary activity, and so it can get lonely. But it’s actually a form of communication, especially when you share it with others. Sharing your stories gives you validation and helps build a sense of belonging, something that studies show we need if we want to lead long, healthy lives.
Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
You begin to see that there are two sides to everything.
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When you write about your experiences, you can gain a sense of objectivity. You start to see that there are two sides to everything, and that leads to being more understanding, empathetic and compassionate. That has personal as well as professional benefits.
Build A Better Brain
When we suppress our feelings, we don’t just shut off part of our heart, we shut off part of our brain, too. That means you have even less ability to get in touch with your feelings. Writing about what you think can be the gateway to your feelings. Also, studies show that writing helps you build new connections in your brain, something that is good at any age, but definitely as we get older.
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So when you write to get in touch with your feelings, you help yourself to feel better emotionally, improve your brain health, and allow yourself to lead a more authentic life.
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Photo: Flickr/ Nilufer Gadgieva