Jamie Utt’s 7 A’s of Hooking Up from Fivel Rothberg on Vimeo.
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After a Georgia Tech fraternity brother wrote a letter entitled “luring your rapebait“, Jamie Utt responded with his own list of keys for hooking up.
Now some filmmakers from New York City have turned his message into a simple and easy-to-follow video on the “7 A’s of Hooking Up.”
Special thanks to Jamie and to Fivel Rothberg and Martyna Starosta for putting together a fun, informative and practical guide to consent and hooking up.
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I have a question. If the girl is drunk and the guy is not that is usually called rape. But what if both are equally drunk. Who raped who. What if the guy is drunk but the girl is not? Did the girl rape the guy?
“But what if both are equally drunk. Who raped who. What if the guy is drunk but the girl is not? Did the girl rape the guy?” If the guy went and raped the girl, the guy is the rapist. If the girl went and raped the guy, the girl is the rapist. Yes, I know… but any situation is different. Some say slightly drunk people can consent… and I believe they potentially can (I have never been drunk). But then again, some may be too out of their minds. I just think people should refrain from having sex while… Read more »
random girl: I agree with most of what you say, but it is not just “men with weak egos” who think like that. Many women do have issues with being asked what they want in bed (particularly by someone they do not know very well), and it can create awkward situations for all involved. Jamie’s advice about asking is definitely a healthy approach, and it will impress a lot of women if you follow his advice, but not all women will appreciate it.
Jamie, you seem to contradict yourself when you say “ask if she wants to get a drink”, and then go on to say that people who are drunk cannot concept. Sure, I suppose if you limit yourself to a glass of wine or two before hooking up you can avoid crossing the line into drunkeness, but let’s be honest– if you’re drinking with a potential hook-up interest at a bar, party, club etc., odds are you are going to be at least a bit drunk by the time the night ends and you (potentially) end up in bed with her.… Read more »
Ask? Are you serious?
Getting permission for everything shows weakness and will not work.
Willing to bet this guy has no luck with women.
This is nothing but supplication.
Good luck.
Sorry Steve, But I’d rather hookup with Jaime, IN A NY MINUTE, than a guy who isn’t interested in, a) having a conversation with me, b) what I want to do next, c) whether I WANT to hook up, d) whether I’m into him, e) and, what I like in bed. Believe it or not, all females are NOT alike, and what your last hookup enjoyed, or what you think you saw in that porno on the internet may have no relevance to the girl you bring home tonight. This isn’t about being pussy whipped, this is about consensual sex.… Read more »
Okay, some serious logical flaws in your response that need to be addressed. I never said that a man should/would not be interested in a conversation with a woman, her interests, what she likes. I never said all women are alike. I don’t hookup, I don’t watch porn and I am not bringing anybody home tonight or any other night but my wife. I never said anything about being pussy-whipped (hyphen?). I am not hung up on myself. I concur that asking a partner about desires is not weak, but the way it comes across can be. I stand on… Read more »
Getting permission for absolutely EVERYTHING can really be quite frustrating, for both males and females, I agree. Some things need to be addressed, though. But I do not see it as supplicant, not necessarily. And yes, it is about women asking as well. Most health people find strength and leadership appealing, I guess the only people aversed to it are the ones (but not all of them) too weak and unconfident themselves. But not most women care about that type of ~confidence~ in a guy, or in any situation. And no, women do not “give sex” (?), they have/make sex… Read more »
So Steve, you prefer to ASSume?