Here’s how guys can have fun, love themselves, and show their love to their special someone.
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Women want to be treated with care and kindness, but they don’t want a man who’s a pleaser.
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Most men are clueless when it comes to understanding women. No wonder you get confused, lost, and even heartbroken for no good reason. To help you get the relationship results you want and simplify your communication, below are a few things you need to know.
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1. Nice is Nice, but NOT Sexy
“I’m a nice guy,” a man says proudly, without realizing that this is the reason he gets the dreaded “Let’s just be friends.” Or worse, he gets manipulated, taken advantage of, or rejected.
Women want to be treated with care and kindness, but they don’t want a man who’s a pleaser. She wants you to have a backbone and be confident. When you act like a faithful puppy, your woman loses respect.
To trust you, she needs to see a leader in you. When you are seeking validation, she knows that you undervalue yourself. You become undesirable, dispensable, and forgettable. She loses interest.
Don’t try to impress her or anyone else for that matter. Don’t try to avoid sharp corners and sensor your humor. Have the balls to behave naturally. After all, you can’t pretend forever. She’ll either like you or not. But it’s better to be turned down for who you are than loved for whom you are not.
There IS a woman who wants YOU, just the way you are. And by turning into a performance monkey and hiding your real personality, you are depriving yourself and her of happiness.
2. She Doesn’t Mean Everything She Says
Don’t listen to her words. Instead, tune into her vibe, watch her facial expressions and her body language. She’ll tell you she can’t stand you while her body will scream “make love to me now!” She’ll say “that’s ok,” while her face will show disrespect and contempt.
Like it or not, often women don’t speak in direct language. Moreover, she’ll tell the opposite of what she wants, expecting you to feel her and catch the trick.
3. Often She Doesn’t Know What She Wants
What’s more, there are times, when she wants you to decide for her or to guess accurately her desire (for food, what to wear or what to do…). So pay attention to her preferences and notice when they change, because they will.
4. Complaining is a Form of Foreplay
She says, “You don’t love me anymore” while pouting her cute face. Does she doubt your love? Nope! She’s asking for affection, a compliment, or another sign of your care. What she means is “I want you to be closer to me right now.” The worst thing you can do is take her words seriously or accuse her of complaining.
When she says “You never do XYZ” it likely means “Can you please do XYZ now?”
Having fun is the best response. For example, tell her “If I did XYZ, I’d be perfect, and you’d have nothing to wish for. Your life would be boring.” And then squeeze her and kiss her, and if you want to, do what she’s asking for. But the latter is not required.
Complaints that are not emotionally charged are simply cries for attention; treat them as such.
5. When You Like Her, She Knows it
Your breaking news that you fancy her is likely old news for her. She knew it the moment you looked at her with that special interest. Most women are very sensitive and catch your vibe right away. While you are plotting your ta-da moment, she is waiting, and her irritation that it’s taking you so long is growing. The more decisive you are, the better chances you have.
6. Women Pass on Warnings to Each Other
Your woman’s girlfriends will know a thing or two about you. If you date different women in the same social circle, after a while, your entire resume and references will be passed around through the word of mouth. Guard your reputation and stay in integrity with yourself. Anything that’s incongruent, will eventually hunt you.
7. She Doesn’t Need You for Survival, But She Needs You to Feel ALIVE
Women are very capable. She can make money and take care of herself. She doesn’t have to rely on a man to provide for her; although most women enjoy and appreciate it.
What can you give her then?
Men and women are very different, but there lies the beauty and richness of love.
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She cannot surrender to her divine feminine without you. She can’t connect with herself and lose control without your loving protection and care. She can’t explore the fullness of her sensuality and sexuality without you. She needs you… but not for your money.
She needs your love, your guidance, your leadership, your presence, your strength and your depth.
But you can’t offer any of the above if you are in a survival mode yourself. If you are struggling to pay your bills, you can’t feel her, because you are distracted.
If you are hoping to make a contribution, you need to succeed in your career and take care of your body. If you are unfulfilled, you don’t have much to give.
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Men and women are very different, but there lies the beauty and richness of love.
If you ever resented women for being difficult to deal with, I have three things to say to you:
- You are right, they are! Even though I’m a woman, dealing with guys is much easier: Less emotion, more action, more focus and often faster results.
- This ain’t gonna change…
- Unless you embrace the differences of the genders and learn to enjoy them, you’ll be struggling in your relationships. Don’t take things too seriously. Be like a captain who is navigating unexplored waters: Stay on course and welcome the adventure. It’s dangerous, exciting, and ultimately rewarding.
Have fun! Love yourself and love your woman!
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Photo: Flickr/ Collin Key
This is not how a woman behaves, this is how an immature girl behaves.
“Women don’t know what they want.” Actually, grown women know exactly what they want, they are either hiding it or buttering up a man’s ego to make him do what she wants.
Like with all these blogs I read it then scroll to the bottom to see who wrote it. The shocker with this one is that it was a Dr , yes a Dr. What hope is there if Dr’s are peddling this bullshit. Here’s a question I bet you can’t answer who told you that a man was supposed to be a source of entertainment for a woman. All these blogs say if a guy is nice he is boring but I think that says more about the women saying it and shows how dysfunctional they are. It’s a sad… Read more »
Judging from this reading, it’s obvious that women need to learn how to communicate like functional adults. This list did more to turn me off of women than my divorce.
Very insightful and eye-opening. Thank you! The main point for any situation is just to be YOUR TRUE SELF.
Interesting article. As much disturbing as anything. Of course the required ‘nice guy’ reference is in there…
@ mgm531, There are many who behave even worse!!! Here is a classic example, “To trust you, she needs to see a leader in you.” How many women have sex with men whom they do not trust? LOTS!!! There are women who have sex with men whom they find attractive and safe but would NEVER consider evening dating the bum. So, this author simply proves my point that it is hard to really believe a lot of what women say about men. Just what kind of leadership is the gym trainer showing except with his cock. What women do is… Read more »
Jules
I love reading your comments!
” Never surrender “.
This reads like a guide to understanding immature teenagers. I honestly cannot believe a grown, mature woman would behave like this in real life. Or if they did, they would certainly not be any woman that I would want to date.
mgm531
I had the same thoughts.
How can this woman say she does not need a man for survival. 🙂
@ Silke, Hi! If an American woman is financially independent and mentally strong, she does not need a man for survival. She does not even need a man to make a baby. I know two women who have paid thousands of dollars to sperm banks. So, a few “superior” men have a lot of kids running around here in America. Lol! I am willing to bet you very very few women are going to comment on this thread in a critical fashion. Even if they disagree, they will remain silent before they write something critical. Women here just do not… Read more »
Jules,
I don’t agree with your “Only in America” statement.
I Think the behaviour described is rather prevalent through most of Europe as well. At least in the northern parts (non-latino and/or non-catholic, may have some influence?)
Get back tomorrow!
You know two women who have paid sperm banks? They dont need a man? Who deposited the sperm in the bank?
We need each other otherwise there is no procreation.
Sky Blossoms
It is hard to read advice that say ” don’t listen to her words”.
Of course both men and women should look at what the other does, but to not listen to the other persons words is a terrible advice.
@ Silke,
“What a woman says, what a woman does, and what a woman says she does are three different things.”
Margaret Mead, Famous American Cultural Anthropologist
Every man on the planet needs to know this..
🙂