Some of the best potential life partners you’ll ever meet are trying to juggle the dating scene while raising kids. Here’s a single mom’s advice for winning their hearts.
—
Dating a single mom can be fun, freeing, and fraught with stumbling blocks.
Here’s a quick guide to avoiding some basic dating missteps I’ve encountered on the road to finding love and friendship as a single Mom. (I do give a few negative examples, but only to emphasize how wonderful it is when a feminist man arrives and meets me where I am.)
Ask her out
Here’s how. “Want to go out?” She loves hearing those words. Why not be clear that you’re interested in getting to know her? It’s so charming! Don’t let her wonder what this call is about. She wouldn’t be staying on the phone if she weren’t interested in getting to know you.
–When a man dances around getting together, I get weary. It’s OK if you don’t want to, truly. But why do you keep calling me, building up to it and then racing off the phone? It’s confusing and that’s uncomfortable. Make it easy for me to relax into our call.
Offer to come to her neighborhood
I want to meet you. I want to know you. I may even want to sleep with you. Show me that you’re aware of the demands in my life and that you want to accommodate me. It goes a long way.
|
And do it right at the beginning of the date request. Make it easy for her. She either pays a babysitter or she asks a friend, sister, or neighbor to babysit. Less travel time for her saves her some money and/or guilt. It also means she can get home faster, should she need to. This means she’s fully present with you and not watching the clock every 30 minutes.
–I want to meet you. I want to know you. I may even want to sleep with you. Show me that you’re aware of the demands in my life and that you want to accommodate me. It goes a long way.
Ask in advance
She needs to get a babysitter. This requires at least a week and a half, if not two weeks. The good babysitters get booked way in advance. She’ll cancel on you rather than leave her child with an unknown entity. I’m guessing you wouldn’t respect a woman who puts dating you above her child’s well-being, so don’t make her choose.
–I’ve cancelled, and it’s been easy because the man who doesn’t consider my needs is showing me just that.
Be flexible
There’s not a ton of down time for a single mom. She wants to see you, she wants to do it soon, and she has a lot to juggle. The “she doesn’t make time for me” complaint may not apply here. Consider how present she is when you’re together before you throw out the baby with the bath water.
–A typical single mom day looks like this, with a date thrown in because she wants romantic love after all! Wake up/brush teeth/feed child/drop off child at school/work all day/ pick up child from school/food shop/run errands/shower/read to child/draw with child/clean/do the laundry/do the dishes/make dinner/make lunch/make a card to go in the lunchbox/dry hair/put on make up/get dressed/go on a date/pay the babysitter/get in pajamas/put away the laundry/put away the dishes/write the food list/pay bills/check the mail/file papers/call parent/check email/go to sleep.
Show commitment to the evening
Skip the, “we’ll figure it out as we get closer.” Figure it out right now! That way she knows where, what time, whether you’re picking her up or meeting her somewhere, and what she should wear. She wants to look fabulous! It doesn’t mean you are getting married that night. It means you respect her time and are fully interested in seeing her that evening.
–When a man says, “we’ll figure it out,” I don’t even try to get a sitter. I know he’ll cancel for some unknown reason or call the day of and say, “Where’re we going?” I’m not your drinking buddy; I’m a potential life partner. It’s disrespectful any way you look at it.
Keep her safe
It’s a statistical fact that women are in more danger of rape than men. So if she doesn’t want to walk to the restaurant, hail a cab. Both ways. Or choose a restaurant where she can park close to the entrance or meet her there. Parking lots are terrifying to women, for good reason. Invest in her feeling safe with you. She may be a feisty, independent dynamo, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t looking to you to consider her safety.
–A man berated me endlessly on our first date about my discomfort with walking to a restaurant. Never saw him again.
Assume you’re paying
A man I was dating for a while offered to help with the babysitting as he often cooked for me at his home. I refused his generosity, but I was touched deeply.
|
Remember that babysitter? That’s $15 an hour ticking away at her bank account or a karmic debt that’s going to come due someday. This is not a guilt trip; it’s a fact of life for the single mother. She is most definitely not complaining or asking for pity. Au contraire. Awareness and consideration, those are the gifts you can give. You may even look at it as splitting the cost of the evening – she takes care of babysitting and you take care of the evening event.
–A man I was dating for a while offered to help with the babysitting as he often cooked for me at his home. I refused his generosity, but I was touched deeply.
Be honest
She can handle it if you don’t feel it. There have been many times when she didn’t feel it either. We can’t control whom we love, or like. But the never calling again thing? Wimpy! OK, sometimes it’s so clear there’s no chemistry, there’s no need to follow up. But if you can see she’s feeling it, be kind. Tell her there’s no future.
–Leaving her wondering is as strong an action as calling her, so please don’t lull yourself into thinking you’re just letting it go. You know when you need to say something, so do unto others as you’d like done to you.
Chillax
She’s not rushing into matrimony to hurry and make babies; she already has her kids. Take your time. Get to know her. She may want to wait a long time to introduce you to her kids. Respect that. It’s not personal against you; it’s protecting her kids from getting attached to someone who may or may not be a part of the family.
–It’s creepy when a man pressures me to meet my offspring. I do love when he asks about my child, and communicates his interest in meeting some day, but pressure is a warning sign.
◊♦◊
Well that’s a wrap for the “Feminist Man’s Guide to Dating A Single Mom.” I’ve dated many feminist men who subscribe to the idea that all people are created equal, and that it’s important to consider each other’s needs, be respectful towards each other, and care for each other in body and heart. That’s feminism and it’s beautiful.
My next article is about the female side of this tango we call searching for love. What has your experience been with dating single moms and how can we get better at it? Please leave me a comment and let me know the topics you want addressed!
Also by Rena Delevie – Top Ape Syndrome – How to Give Up the Chest Thumping Without Giving Up Power
—
We’re having a conversation about what it means to be a good man in the 21st century. Care to join us? Receive our daily or weekly email. Sign up here.
—
Photo: Flickr/Mt. Hood Territory
Why not just date a single father?
The biggest thing about dating a single parent that I’d worry about is more, Are you (person who wants to date said single parent) actually genuinely okay with the fact that this person both has children already and is probably going to remain involved to some degree in the life of the other parent of those children for many, many years to come? Everything else can be worked around; neither of those things generally can be. Also, dating a woman with kids that aren’t yours and living with a woman with kids that aren’t yours are two totally, utterly different… Read more »
Everyone’s entitled to their opinion, I guess.
But the last month or so there’s been a couple of articles like this one on GMP, handing out advice on how do date single mothers. Problem is, if you read them back to back they are pretty contradictory, especially regarding the behaviour towards the kids.
(If I rmember correctly, one of them depicted a man being dumped mostly for assuming that if their dating developed into a relationship, he was in one way or another going to have to interact with her kids.)
So I see this long list of “do’s and don’ts” for dating a single mother. And, I gotta ask, just for the sake of discussion… what’s in it for men if we jump through all these hoops? Relationships are difficult enough as it is with only two people. Dating a single mother throws in a third (or more) person into the mix. So what’s the incentive for a man to actually want to go through with this? I’m not saying I’d never date a single mother ever, but I gotta tell you… you’re not helping any to make the prospect… Read more »
8ball says: …and most importantly- I want, for once, to be the most important person in somebody’s life for at least a little while. — 8ball, it’s simply not a realistic expectation that you would be the most important person in a single mom’s life, even for a minute. That’s not to say you couldn’t win the lottery here, but it’s not something you should expect. And that’s not a dig on the single mom! It’s just a hard-wired biological and psychological fact that she has a stronger, pre-existing bond to her own precious children that was there before you… Read more »
But that’s my point. the most important person/people in a single mother’s (or father’s) life *should* be their child(ren) There’s nothing wrong with that attitude, and if men are okay with that, Good for them.
At this point in my life, I’m not. Selfish? Maybe, but I’ve only got the one life (as far as I know.)
I’m not really seeing the point in your reply, to be honest… you’re literally telling me what I *just* said.
I thought that you were asking a real question, rather than a rhetorical one, about why you should jump through the blogger’s hoops to date a single mom.
My answer (obviously not needed by you) was that with or without those hoops, no boyfriend/husband would ever be #1 in her life, whether he’s a self-identified feminist or not, whether he jumps through hoops or not, etc.
It’s important for men to know that, and of course GMP isn’t EVER going to tell that to men…so it’s up to others like you to speak the truth here.
I think its fine that the author has set standards for herself. But to go out into the public and push your views onto others and not expect citicism is daft. Your are right men are pissed off. You said you come to sites like GMP to learn about men. Have you learned yet that men are pissed off about female entitlement? Have you learned yet that men are pissed off about inequalities enforced on men? Have you learned yet that men are pissed off about hearing about how they should ‘treat women’? Have you learned yet that men are… Read more »
Josh – I know you know this, bruddah, but I’ll state it anyway: Mostly (but not entirely) women have very little interest in learning about men. But they do have a lot of interest in imposing their world views upon men, and training men to jump through their hoops. Men who are willing to do that are “good” men. Of course, the implication is that the rest are…well…you pick an adjective. What is happening right now, which is increasingly visible on various social media sites as well as right here, is that large numbers of of men are saying “enough… Read more »
Randy – A) Women spend more time, resources and money trying to improve their relationships with men then men spend on trying to improve their relationships with women. Most tools, self help books and resources out there are targeted to women who the industry knows is more willing to spend their money trying to improve their relationships with men then men spend to improve their relationships with women. Women are also ususally the first to go to counselling before men as well. Men also don’t appear to purchase materials that would help them work on understanding women better. Men appear… Read more »
Erin – How much have you read and/or listened to by Warren Farrell, Erin Pizzey, Dr Tara Palmentieri, Dr Helen Smith, Karen Straughan. If your answer is “nothing” (which I suspect it is), then I would say your idea of “learning about men” is self-serving. I would say that you want to learn about what to do to satisfy your own needs and desires. You don’t realize that right now, at this point in history, we’re reaching and inflection point in mens consciousness very much like the one we had 50 years ago regarding women’s consciousness. Back then, women realized… Read more »
I’m always open to new reading material to try and understand men better. I’ve been trying for a long time to understand men. Since I was a young teenager. I clearly don’t always get men but I keep trying. Do you keep trying with women too Randy? How do you try to understand women better? (This is totally a sincere question.) Thanks for the suggestions. I’ll check some of these out. I’ve already added some of them to my Amazon list. Though, I have read a lot of books to better understand men Randy. Wild at Heart by John Eldridge… Read more »
That’s ridiculously sexist and rather silly. I’m sure that women probably do spend more time and energy trying to improve their relationships with men. I’m also sure that this is in large part because there’s more people willing to sell advice on the topic and women are generally more willing to discuss such things than men are. However, it’s not about how much time and energy you spend on it. A kiss before work or a thank you for cooking the dinner isn’t terrible time consuming, but it’s something that does make a huge difference to a spouse that feels… Read more »
Iben, “A) Women spend more time, resources and money trying to improve their relationships with men then men spend on trying to improve their relationships with women.” No. Women spend time, resources and money on material that tells them what they want to hear about relationships, confirming that their views and opinions are the right ones all along. Men don’t spend as much, and are less inclined to be the first to go to counseling, because women insist on telling him that everything is fine and expects him to read her mind about the opposite, until he’s struck with a… Read more »
re your last paragraph – I have been drawing the same parallels. My concern is how government and the economic world react. If the reaction is the same for women’s lib then I fear there will just as much shit coming as we have seen from feminism. I do doubt that happening as I don’t see men ever being totally subordinate to anyone. We see that now with mgtow, herbivore men of japan, etc. I highly doubt that mens votes can be bought with money the same way it has been with women.
Hi Rena – some of the push back you are seeing may be due to the fact that parts of your list are not well thought through – for instance: “Assume you will pay” What you can safely assume is that both parties to the proposed date are indeed taking care of some kids financially, somewhere. Your baby sitter is part and parcel of his support payments. You’ve completely missed the obvious equivalent. The “Keep her safe” has already been addressed above as off base, since statistically the date is more of a risk than the shady man in the… Read more »
I am sorry but most of you aren’t even talking about the topic of the article. This article had nothing to do with men and custody and trying to turn it into that just because it’s a single Mom giving dating advice is really crappy. People should know themselves well enough to know what they are capable of giving to other people and what they aren’t capable of giving. Some people can date single Moms AND Dads, some people can’t. Some women can’t handle being with a man that’s a single Dad and some men can’t handle being with a… Read more »
@ Erin “Although, I do find that women are a bit more open to dating single Dads and there is much more of a negative stigma with men toward single Moms. I just wonder what that says about men and women in general.” I suspect that it’s a mixture of several things. First, the expectations of the non-parent may be different depending on whether the non-parent is a man or woman. Second, the reaction of the non-parent to the expectation could favor women dating single dads. Third, there could be different societal pressures. I once asked a feminist woman why… Read more »
Hey Erin, did you ever consider that maybe some of that anger stems from the fact that men are really, really, ****REEEEAAAAALLLLYYY*** sick of seeing a deluge of articles about how we just don’t measure up? And that maybe, on a site that’s *supposed* to be a place for men to talk about *our* problems, said articles are twice as irritating? D’you think? Also, there are situations where men can become liable for child support, even if the kid isn’t biologically there’s, just because they got into a relationship with a single mother. In that case, I don’t blame men… Read more »
Bingo.
8Ball, your idea of what GMP is suppose to be and GMP’s idea about what it’s suppose to be are very different. Please visit their “About” section. This most certainly is a website that address men’s issues. And many articles do just that. But its not a site that’s meant to just focus on men’s issues from the exclusive position of victimhood. Discussing men’s issues falls under a huge umbrella that includes issues men face, issues men are challenged by, issues men suffer and issues men cause. It’s a website to focus on the multi-faceted men’s roles have adapted to… Read more »
Under the Canadian Family Relations Act, a person in a relationship with a single parent can potentially become liable for child support, even if he or she does not actually adopt the child or even marry the parent. A two year period of “marriage-like” fraternization can start liability. was either in a marriage-like (common law) relationship with the child’s parent for at least two years OR married to the child’s parent for any length of time; AND contributed to the child’s support or maintenance for at least one year; AND last contributed to the child’s maintenance or support within one… Read more »
Your example brings into question the role of a step-parent, not just some random man dating a woman. The way 8ball phrased it, it sounded like a man who strictly had a relationship with a woman, not a man that became part of the family. In the case of step-parents, I think it depends on the relationship and how long the child and step-parent have had a relationship.
The male person in question does not actually have to be a “step parent” in that he never has to actually marry the child’s parent to become liable for child support, nor actually adopt a quasi parental role. All he needs to do is cohabitate with the child’s parent for a period of time and have some of his funds comingle with funds the mother uses to supportthe child, so that she can hypothetically claim that she now needs his influx of funds to support the child, and he could be liable.
You think that women are more willing to date single dads than the other way around?? No way! Being a custodial dad is the kiss of death in the dating world. Most women are totally unwilling to share your attention and time with a child who is not theirs
otty: Most women are totally unwilling to share your attention and time with a child who is not theirs — That would be most women without kids. Single moms, OTOH, are often much more willing to date single dads. Speaking of which, has anyone EVER bothered to write an article like this addressed to women – encouraging, teaching, training them on how to date single dads, telling them how neat it would be to have one for a partner. I mean, really, in the entire history of the modern women’s movement over the last 50 years, with the millions of… Read more »
Otty, I guess that goes against my own experience where I have seen several women date and marry single Dads without her having children herself. I don’t know any men that have dated single Moms and married them. Not that it doesn’t happen.
As a single mum, who had relocated by choice, albeit after an amicable divorce, I chose to live frugally so I could look after my child, continue studies for a career change & volunteer for student placements as part of my study requirements. As a single person, with an extremely active child, but elderly parents, I actually started dating with my son in tow. Albeit he would sleep most of the time over lunch or coffee dates in his pram (I timed dates to coincide with his naps). I was incredibly conscious of his safety and wellbeing. I saw it… Read more »
Good luck to you both. What you’re doing is probably the smartest strategy. You and your man are both in the same boat, so the chances are good you’re on the same page in terms of values, priorities, etc. And if it doesn’t work out, you still end up with your kids and he with his. And if you have kids together, he’s got a reasonable shot at joint physical custody because he’s already proved that he’s one of those “rare” men who can actually be a good custodial parent. The only problem is, guys like this are scarcer than… Read more »
Thank you all for commenting; supporters and dissenters alike. I appreciate the fact that we can share our opinions freely. And to the single moms out there, may we find love. Healthy, nurturing, goofy love.
Excellent article, and as a Feminist Gentleman, I agree and find perfectly understandable everything you mentioned.
Speaking of feminists … AVFM and their conference got some main stream (positive) coverage in TV this morning. There was a mention that the “feminists” were pissed off. Way to go AVFM
Yep and the best they can resort to is shaming tactics.
That dog really won’t hunt anymore.
i really enjoyed the live feed on the 2nd day.
“It’s a statistical fact that women are in more danger of rape than men. So if she doesn’t want to walk to the restaurant, hail a cab. Both ways. Or choose a restaurant where she can park close to the entrance or meet her there. Parking lots are terrifying to women, for good reason. Invest in her feeling safe with you. She may be a feisty, independent dynamo, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t looking to you to consider her safety.” Your date is most likely to rape you, and men are at more risk alone in public places from… Read more »
That’s ridiculous. Yes women are more likely to be raped, but that doesn’t make it any safer for me to walk in an isolated garage. It just means that rather than worrying about being raped, I’m worried about being mugged or happy slapped.
Also, keep in mind that most rapes are acquaintance rapes, so the likelihood of being raped by a stranger is lower than what most people seem to believe. Most of the time it’s somebody that they know and place trust in.
Here’s the hard truth men need to know (and I say MEN because, statistically, women get physical custody of children almost ALL of the time): The odds of relationship failure are high to begin with. If she’s already a single mom, the odds are even higher. Specifically, half of first marriages end in divorce, but for seconds it’s 2/3, and for thirds it’s 3/4. In addition, 90% of divorces are initiated by women. So if you start dating a single mom with the expectation (or hope) of a potential lifetime partnership, you’re playing a long odds game. That’s not to… Read more »
“and I say MEN because, statistically, women get physical custody of children almost ALL of the time”
Source?
Men have been making some slow and tiny gains in custody.
But according the most recently released census statistics, 81.7% of custodial parents end up being the mother.
http://www.census.gov/prod/2013pubs/p60-246.pdf
This information is published and re-published continually. It was re-published a week or two ago in an article recapping the legal handicaps of men in our domestic court situation right here on GMP.
Do some googling and all this comes up in about 5 seconds. I’m not doing your work for you, and I can’t pay attention for you either. That’s an inside job.
It’s men like Josh and my ex-husband that make me just want to avoid getting back into the dating scene all together. I know there’s good men out there. But I’m afraid they’re rare gems.
Julie: I know there’s good men out there. But I’m afraid they’re rare gems.
—
You’re absolutely right. They are VERY rare gems.
Plus, a lot of men are on strike, as described by Dr Helen Smith in her book MEN ON STRIKE.
If you’re seriously looking for a partner, maybe you should think about switching teams. Maybe date some other single moms, who would be naturally empathic about the problems you face, rather than all those loutish men out there.
Randy, how about you don’t suggest to someone else what their sexuality should be and they will do the same for you. I understand you don’t like Julie’s comments but that doesn’t mean you get to “suggest” her sexual choices. And neither should anyone do the same to you.
If a male person conspicuously complains about how there are no female persons good or worthy enough for his standards, there is a reliable and sarcastic chorus which responds that he should just resort to masturbation or sex dolls and that he is probably unworthy of female company anyway. A fair enough response in my opinion. So when a female person conspicuously complains about how most male persons are degenerate, wanting, and unworthy, then there is nothing inappropriate or untoward in telling that person that perhaps she should consider other avenues of conjugal or sexual satisfaction. And since it is… Read more »
Making a suggestion around what someone else’s sexual choices should be is not “advice”. It’s not sincere. It’s not meant with the intention to be helpful. It’s a carefully concealed sarcastic comment boarding on a personal attack made out of anger from the other person’s comments whether the person is male or female.
Really? That is interesting. Because you seem to frequently make suggestions and exhortations about other people’s sexual choices and what they should be, when you tell men that they should not view pornography or have unfavorable fantasies about women. Since “suggestions” about what other people’s sexual choices should be are not valid “advice,” perhaps the Good Men Project should stop beseeching men to try pegging. https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/dudes-and-dildos/ But leaving that aside, if any person of any gender is going to publicly state how most (if not all) members of a certain gender are degenerate and unworthy of relationships, that kind of… Read more »
In all the times I wrote about my disagreement with porn, I never ever dictated that men “should not look at it”. I never said, “Men, don’t look at porn!” I would like if men spent less time looking at it, I’d certainly like if they didn’t look at all, I would like if men considered the ethics of it, i would like men to spend more time growing their relationships with the women they will be encountering in their every day lives; but none of these equal to me dictating to others what their sexuality should be. And saying… Read more »
I would like if men spent less time looking at it, I’d certainly like if they didn’t look at all Yes, you have repeatedly made that opinion clear. You would like it if men to view pornography less, or not at all, and you think men viewing pornography constitutes an ethical wrong and degradation against all women. And guess what? Telling men that you want them to not view pornography is “making a suggestion around what someone else’s sexual choices should be.” And by your own standard, making a suggestion around what someone else’s sexual choices should be” is “not… Read more »
And what did I say that would classify me as being a ‘bad man’? Surely protecting ones self against hardship inflicted by another is common sense. Or should all men just assume all women are wonderful angels who do know wrong?
You’ve made the cardinal sin. You’ve decided not to subordinate your needs to that of a woman. I don’t have a problem with single mothers insisting on certain conditions for dating them. Everyone should date to make themselves happy first and foremost. They should do it in a way that is respectful of others, but another’s happiness is not their responsibility. You don’t owe anyone a relationship least of all on their terms. It’s OK to be incompatible with people. It doesn’t make you a bad person just not right for them.
So putting methods in place for a man (and I bet you totally ignored the last line of my first comment) or a woman to protect themselves from others who potentially have skelotons hiding in the closet makes me a ‘bad man’.
If that’s the case then its women like you as to why men are opting out of dating women fullstop.
We’re not really that rare, it’s just that you have to look in places that most women aren’t willing to look and be willing to give us some leeway early on. I’ve been essentially on strike for the better part of 15 years now. It doesn’t mean that I won’t date, it does mean that I’m not willing to settle for somebody that doesn’t respect me and appreciate my good qualities. Apart from not having a good job, I represent just about every other common checklist item that typical women have. However, a lot of women refuse to date a… Read more »
Wow, thanks for that, Josh. It was actually my ex husband who has BPD, and I do struggle financially because getting away was more important than taking a lot of money with me. I’ve also chosen to limit my work and live very frugally so that my kids are well taken care of, by ME. I actually appreciate men who go ahead and tip their hands like this, because I wouldn’t want to waste my time forming a friendship only to discover a rotten foundation where I thought there might be shared values.
You have that right Lynn. Bc I too live a frugal life. I care for my disabled mother My ex husband was an alcoholic who drank away every dime. I say he “was” bc he is dead now…from drinking. I took what I could and ran for the light of day with my children. I have never asked a man for a dime for me or my children. After two or three dates, I offer to pay for the next one. I think it’s only fair. With some planning and some options provided, I have no problem working around my… Read more »
Alcoholic and Bi-Polar? The last two comments are typical of a lot I see. How do you not notice someone has these issues early on in a relationship? Moreover, how do you not notice before you get married???
Good thing I’m not a feminist. Here is my guide. 1. Look for signs/find out why she is single. This is a huge red flag. 2. Look for signs of BPD. 3. Her time is not more valuable than yours just because she has a child. If she won’t even try to meet you half way, then already the dynamics of the relationship is skewed. 4. Find the status of the father of the child. This may give indicators of Violence, financial trouble and infidelity – be ready to run. 5. You are not responsible for paying anything for the… Read more »
In the interests of transparency, I’m dating a single mother. Just a response to your points: 1: Isn’t that true of anyone? We started dating just before I turned thirty and I was single. Knowing I had dated people before wouldn’t anyone want to know why I was single? 2:Again, I’d say that would apply to anyone, but I find that oddly specific. 3: I do understand where you’re coming from with this one, but I don’t see it as just her time. Her spending time with me requires (sometimes) an adjustment in schedule on her part, her daughter’s and… Read more »
But, in my opinion, if you don’t at least consider a child’s well-being (any child’s) then you aren’t much of a man. At least, insofar as I see manliness and masculinity. If a woman aborts a pregnancy, or leaves a newborn at a “safe haven” or puts her child up for adoption because she thinks a child will disrupt her life priorities, I presume we are not supposed to think that woman is somehow deficient as a woman. So why is a man “not much of a man” if he is unwilling or reluctant to take on responsibility for supporting… Read more »
Because a parent and a child are a package deal. You can’t have a relationship with one and brush off the other. If you are “reluctant to take on responsibility for” a child, then dating a parent isn’t for you.
Because a parent and a child are a package deal. You can’t have a relationship with one and brush off the other. Actually, that is not always the case. We have this sentimental notion that parents always value their children about all else. But that is not always true, for mothers or fathers. Sometimes when a single parent bonds with a new consort, the new consort can use certain methods to marginalize and eventually remove the child from the living space. Or sometimes the single parent was keen to do this even before pairing up with a new person. And… Read more »
“Because a parent and a child are a package deal. You can’t have a relationship with one and brush off the other. If you are “reluctant to take on responsibility for” a child, then dating a parent isn’t for you.”
Which is, by the way, basically what he just said. This doesn’t explain why such an opinion should make him “less of a man”
Good try at guilting though
Exactly! Women’s “womanhood or femininity” is not constantly challenged when they refuse to step up and take care of another woman’s child but men are berated about not being “real men”, whatever the hell that means, if they don’t want to take care of another man’s children. Weird! If a husband cheats on his wife and makes a baby with another woman, nobody expects the wife who was cheated on to be saddled with the responsibility of taking care of the bastard child/children yet I constantly hear people expecting a man to foot the bill for a child/children that his… Read more »
I think we can all safely assume why Josh is single.
Actually married twice idiot. First came unstuck with the ‘death do us apart clause’ and the second hasn’t finished yet. Bus assume away and make yourself a fool.
Michael: I think we can all safely assume why Josh is single.
—
How’s that safe assumption thingy working out for you, Mike?
Do you often enjoy being wrong on the internet Mike?
So that Josh, uncivilized as always, have two guard dogs as well? Or is it just the same person? Or is it himself? Hmmm….
Well you can type assumptions all you like, but that isn’t an argument. Speak your mind or does your thoughts and arguments lack credibility?
Her time IS more valuable than yours because she has a child. If you ever get close enough to a woman to make children, you will understand that. Being a parent makes your time more valuable.
Oh I see what you are doing. If I ever get close enough. Nice try at shaming there femtard. Married thanks.