There is set of rules we agree to in exchange for the freedom to dive, and they aren’t so different if you want freedom in life.
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I’ve been driving for a long time. Over two decades. Long trips, short trips, commuting, errands, and sometimes, just for the sake of driving. I’ve been to track days and tested my car to many different limits. I’ve driven precious cargo, elderly parents clutching handles for dear life, a pregnant wife (twice), and in the worst possible driving conditions (winding mountain at night during pouring rain with my whole family onboard). I love driving, and I never see it as a chore or something I don’t call dibs on right away. It doesn’t matter what I’m behind the wheel of, driving is fun. It is, for me, the best possible way to enjoy a journey.
Being mindful aids in crash avoidance, delays, and an all-around less reactive, stressful drive.
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As a person who enjoys learning throughout life, I’ve picked up a few tips and tricks along the way. Little things that make driving easier. That make me a more confident, smarter driver. And, coincidentally enough while driving, I found that many of these tips and tricks can be traced back to being mindful in life. Being mindful aids in crash avoidance, delays, and an all-around less reactive, stressful drive. So I’m going to share with you these tips and how they are mirrored in life.
Compassion: Many of us have been subject to those that have, let’s say less than impeccable driving skills. Or those that are trying to set land-speed records. Or those that are rude, obnoxious, and generally uncouth. A long time ago I came to realize that these people might just be having a bad day. Or they’re trying to quickly get home to their dying son (true story for me). They’re not trying to attack or purposely run me off the road. Sometimes … yes. But not all of the time.
So true is this in life. Many times when people are perceived as rude or not their best self, there is something going on with them that has absolutely nothing to do with you; their vitriol comes out directed at you nonetheless. Practice compassion and don’t engage with them if you can help it. Steer clear (pun intended) of them and do your own thing. If they are being purposely hurtful to you, feel free to call the authorities. This is modelling compassion for the safety of others. Win-win.
Decide and Commit: When you want to execute a maneuver that you think might be scary like merging, changing lanes, or passing, decide and commit. Gather data to make sure your decision is sound (check blind spot, ensure there’s enough room, and rev the engine for good measure) decide what the window of opportunity looks like, and then make it happen. This is not recklessly “going for broke” or “just do it.” It is intentional and calculated. That said, be confident and firm in your decision and execute it. If you only go halfway and then stop disaster will ensue as no one will know what you’re trying to do.
So true is this in life. Do the homework it takes to make an educated decision. Then, execute and stand by it. If you make a decision and change your mind right away, people will not know where you stand or what you’re doing. You are being wishy-washy. You may lose trust as people won’t believe what you’re going to do next. Better to make a decision, even a wrong one, and fail spectacularly, than not make any decision at all.
If You Have The Right Of Way, Take It: When driving, be predictable. Don’t try to control the flow of traffic or be overly nice. What ends up happening is people get confused, traffic stops (or accidents) ensue, and everyone struggles to regain footing. Controlling traffic isn’t your job. Neither is controlling other drivers. Control yourself, and make good decisions.
You control every, single, aspect of what you do and say. Make it count.
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So true is this in life. Far too many people try to control other people, or even situations, that aren’t controllable. Very little in life is. The one shining, monumental exception is yourself. You control every, single, aspect of what you do and say. Make it count.
Signal: This is easy. When you don’t signal and then turn anyway, you create unpredictability that doesn’t allow others the opportunity to accommodate you. You just do what you want, regardless of the impact on others. This is a form of bullying. By just communicating the simple act of what you’re going to do is helpful.
So true is this in life. Communication is one of the best things we can do for each other. It reduces assumptions, conveys intentions, and allows others the opportunity to make accommodations for you. In other words, everything runs smoother, and there are less accidents and misunderstandings.
Driving Distracted: So many reasons not to do this. I’m not talking about glancing at the dash to push a button. I’m talking about driving while one hand’s holding a phone, and the other is gesticulating wildly to emphasize their 50mph conversation (true story). I won’t get into all the bad reasons not committing your full attention to driving is. Suffice to say that piloting a 3500+ pound chunk of free-wheeling steel at 50mph takes at the very least some concentration. Not the act of driving itself. The act of being intentional. Checking the road ahead. Knowing where you’re going. Checking traffic flow. Being mindful of what’s going on around you. It’s being prepared to react to situations that instantly arise. Because at freeway speeds, the entire landscape changes constantly.
So true is this in life. While the stakes are not usually as high, being distracted (being buried in your phone while walking, for example) doesn’t allow you to experience life. And you won’t be able to react to what’s in front of you. Like cliffs. Or traffic. Do one thing at a time, and do it intentionally and well. Being mindful in life allows for so much richer an experience.
Turn On Your Lights In Bad Weather: Even if you don’t need headlights to see where you’re going, the idea is that you want your giant metal roadblock to be visible to other drivers. In a heavy downpour, it’s hard to see a car in front of you, which invites all manner of accident. Turning on your lights tells the people in back of you where you are, and if you’re a truck, car or motorcycle. Of course, headlights don’t hurt either, as they let oncoming traffic know the same thing.
Just imagine if these were enforced in everyday life. Didn’t communicate your intentions? That’s a fine. Bullied someone? That’s a fine.
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So true is this in life. This is about empathy. Knowing that if you can’t see other cars, they can’t see you. When I got laid off, I felt sad and angry. I have empathy towards others that got laid off as well, knowing they may feel similarly. Empathy leads to compassion. And there’s really no situation where compassion can’t be helpful.
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There’s a reason that not following many of these driving practices are finable offences, punishable by law. They’re designed to promote communication, safety, and are finable instead of having the consequence of auto repair, or on the far end of the scale, death. A set of rules we agree to in exchange for the freedom to use cars.
Just imagine if these were enforced in everyday life. Didn’t communicate your intentions? That’s a fine. Bullied someone? That’s a fine. Ultimately, we are only in control of ourselves and the decisions we make. We’re also in control of learning from mistakes. Every decision carries risk and consequence. What decisions will you make on the road? What about in life?
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Photo: Pixabay