ADD and the Significant Other

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About J.R. Reed

J.R is a full-time single dad attempting to raise a 14-year-old daughter without providing too many stories to relay to her future therapist. He is also the creator of the popular blog, Sex and the SIngle Dad. A former radio talk show host and color commentator, he’s also an off-the-hook cook, a bit of an argyle-loving dork and has a word in Urban Dictionary. J.R. has a serious guacamole addiction and a torta dealer named Danny.


  1. It wasn’t until my son was diagnosed with ADD (the inattentive kind) that I started to realize maybe his dad shares some of those same characteristics: forgets his keys and ID badge all the time (and is convinced someone must have stolen them!), doesn’t listen to anything I say to him (but will listen to his drinking buddy…arrgghh!), etc.

    Yelling doesn’t really help…post-it notes sometimes are effective…but yes, I agree….technology is a true blessing! Anything I text him on his iPhone gets immediately addressed! (It works with my son, too….Natch! I just text my son when I want him to come up for air from the basement where he loves to play Mine Craft endlessly!)…iPhone has saved my vocal cords!

    • J.R. Reed says:


      As funny as it sounds I occasionally put a post it note ON my phone. A couple of my other tricks include always putting my keys in the same place and if there is something I need to take with me, putting it next to the keys. I also tape notes to my steering wheel so I don’t forget to go somewhere or grab something I need. I’m glad technology works for you as well.

  2. I’m an adult (Well, early twenties) woman with ADD (inattentive type), and I can relate to so much of this – especially forgetfulness and organization. Sometimes it works with my depression in such a way that I beat myself up over and over again for missing things. (And it doesn’t help that my parents are super punctual and they cannot understand why I’m not.)

    Sometimes I feel like it’s impossible for me to motivate myself. I’m not sure that’s something for all ADDults, but the best thing my boyfriend does for me is simply be my personal cheerleader. He also helps me remember to do things, and he’s the best thing in my life. And yes, one big problem with ADD is the intense attention that quickly fades (I tend to think of it more as an “Attention dispersal disorder” – overfocusing on some things, not focusing enough on others) – I worry that like how I go through phases with everything else in my life, so it’ll happen with my boyfriend – but I think he’s staying. :) He’s a keeper who loves me for me, in all my messy, forgetful, space-cadetness.

    • J.R. Reed says:

      For what it’s worth I’m 46 and have dealt with my family not understanding for my whole life. I too beat myself up over every stupid thing and I hate it. Right now the depression is overwhelming because I’m not on my medicine. Please know you’re not alone and I’m happy that you have a boyfriend who seems to understand you. Check back next Wednesday for ADD and the Workplace.

  3. Hey Thank you. I have not read lot about ADD and marriage. I think there are areas i can fix.

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