Movement maverick Wolfgang Brolley shares the lessons he learned from his spiritual pilgrimage.
—
Editor’s Note: Author uses the lowercase “i” as a way to practice humbleness.
it is said that the true measure of spirito-emotional progress is a body length – this being the distance covered when you fall flat on your face.
The Mountain Walking retreat started with me stepping thickly into it right from the get go. Our small band of serious practitioners was mindfully walking in the Sangre de Christo mountains, Roshi out in front (these were her hills) along with a deep ecologist (and her three legged pooch) who would share her land wisdom. Following them were the rest of us, walking as self-consciously aware as one can while on a Buddhist retreat (noble silence, of course, being maintained…) And, right behind our line of humbleness would be monks, the train of llamas and their handler – a tough back country gal who was also our trail guide.
“put your faith in Allah, AND hobble your camels.””
|
As we left the zen centre, i’d had the briefest of peeks at the topo sheets for the journey. The saying goes, “Put your faith in Allah, AND hobble your camels. Put your faith in Allah, AND hobble your camels.” i will happily follow the tail of the Buddhist mule in front of me, but having spent years mountaineering, i will be wanting just a wee glance at the map before we head out, thank you. And now, people starting to find their rhythm, some silently intoning their personal mantras, i was, in contrast, nursing a growing, vexing anxiety. Internal navigation systems had lit up and started buzzing: we were all very mindfully walking in the wrong direction. There are times you really don’t want to look a total ass. The beginning of a retreat with a world renowned Roshi you hoped to study with would top that list. i scoured my synapses for some concrete remembrance that would assure me one way or the other. Time was passing, miles drifting by beneath our well placed feet. No one else seemed disturbed or concerned – introspective contentment was all around me.
“whatever you do, don’t wobble!”
|
Off to our left was the deep cleft cut by the river we were following; it was also cutting through my introspective contentment. MY problem: i was growing increasingly convinced it should be on our right. Crap. Fairly certain, but not quite totally certain. There was nothing to do but say something – Marti, the ecologist, seemed like the right (read: safest) person to share my navigational concern with. She listened closely, smiled, and suggested i take it up with the Roshi. Argh! All right, it was time for me to embody the Zen maxim, “whatever you do, don’t wobble!” i approached Roshi, bowed, and explained my concern. She scanned around, looking at local landmarks and land forms, and curtly said, “Ask the llama guide.” Ok, not bad, no effusive thanks for potentially saving the day, but — still had my head. i slowed my pace and drifted backwards past our little band of earnest pilgrims. Abreast of our rugged looking llama wrangler, i very graciously asked if it might be possible to glance at the topo. She had no problem with that: it was a fine day and we were moving right along… (which was part of my growing worry – we had been meditatively marching along for nearly two hours). My fears were quickly, unequivocally confirmed. Quite respectfully, i asked the guide about our destination, looked at the contours of the hills, looked at the river on our left and then i asked, handing back the map, “shouldn’t it be on our right?”
The llama woman examined the topo, looked down at the river, looked behind us, put two fingers in her mouth and pierced the air. She raised her arm in the air circling her hand and waved in the direction behind us. The troops paused, waiting for Roshi to make her way back to the front. A small nod, a head bow, as she passed me. Obviously, we had some time to make up, but the first day’s hike had been planned short, and so we made camp and finished a simple dinner as dusk settled comfortably around us.
The “A” list affair of the western Buddhist community
|
Roshi and i each had a history of Himalayan wandering. i had walked across northern India as well as a big swath of far western Nepal. She had written a compelling book about her shamanic background woven through the story of a pilgrimage around the holy Mt. Kailas, (the terrestrial axis mundi of Buddhist cosmology, in addition to being the seat of Lord Shiva – the place manifests some serious cosmic ju ju) carrying the ashes of Tenzing Norgay on their final mountain journey. The Buddhist world was abuzz with rumours that Roshi was planning a return trip to circumambulate Mt. Kailas once more. Word on the spiritual street was that this would be an invitation only trip of 15-20 fellow Buddhist peers, teachers and pilgrims. The “A” list affair of the western Buddhist community. i can’t say i didn’t envy those who would accompany her…. It would definitely be the trip of a life time. During my sojourns i had heard many stories of Kailas, its remoteness, its power. Pilgrims from India, Nepal, Mongolia, nomadic tribes of Tibet, all circling the great mountain on foot. The more devout ones doing full body prostrations end to end for the full 34 mile circuit. It was on my “someday” list, someday i would get there, someday…
“my first prostration!”
|
i’m a canid: protective, investigative – i look after my pack. Post dinner, i went for a stroll around our camping area – you might call it a perimeter check… i had nosed out a good spot for Roshi – good energy, secure feeling, and carried her bag to it, she didn’t seem displeased. As i wandered back to my own site, Roshi called to me. She was seated just outside her tent.”What can i do for you, Roshi?”
She smiled, wise eyes sparkling, and waved her hand for me to sit next to her. We sat. It’s what you do with Roshis.
“Wolfgang, how would you like to go back to Tibet?”
i closed my eyes so there’d be more room for the smile exploding on my face. Jumping up, i gave her a deep bow, hands folded, spun around to jog back to my tent and fell flat on my face – my first prostration!
Like The Good Men Project on Facebook
-Photos: Wolfgang Brolley
I love the humor and the humility of this story.
Thanks, Dave.
Honest, caring expression of those two qualities is indespensible in my life.
Wolfgang, great article. Can I ask, is there anything that you have taken from this experience that you apply to your everyday living now?
Neil, really only everything.
Trust your intuition, but make sure there’s plenty of experience and miles that have fed that intuition.
Always speak up if you think something is wrong, but check out a few things/check in with a few people before you start yelling.
When you do the right thing, more right things are more likely to happen.
When a roshi asks if you want to go to Tibet, falling flat on your face can be the right answer to that particular koan.