Sometimes, it takes an addicting game to make us realize how important our friends are to us.
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Socializing can be fun.
At first, for introverts, it can be a terrifying thing. But through much trial and error, I have come to find that being sociable is fun.
I’m fine by myself if I need to be. Yet, despite my introverted nature, there are times when I do enjoy hanging out with people. Especially people I get along with.
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And yet, I am a father.
In the chaos of having a baby and figuring out how to be a dad, my time with my friends has diminished greatly. It also doesn’t help that most of them are having children too.
After all, it’s not whether you win or lose, right?
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So when the stars align, me and a few other guys get together to play a game. And I’ll admit this here, I long to see them, to sit and talk. But these guys aren’t really talkers, at least, not about the things that I want to talk about. Instead, they want to discuss the game at hand.
Because this isn’t the male version of The View, our social time usually centers around a game. We did watch movies or a show for a time, but I found they put me to sleep.
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And what game do we play?
From what started with a simple game that was easy to learn and enjoy, now I’m being introduced, and “encouraged” to try the harder, more complex and involved games.
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At first it was Risk, way back in college. From there we progressed to Munchin, the parody role-playing-game. Risk has been fun for me, despite my lack of keen battlefield strategy. What’s important here is that I’ve won a few times. Don’t ask about the ratio of wins to losses though. And Munchin was easy to pick up, though my ratio of wins to losses was even more lopsided. After all, it’s not whether you win or lose, right? This phrase has become a mantra for me.
There was a stretch of Texas Hold ‘Em there for a while, but it didn’t last. This probably had something to do with the lack of interest to put money down.
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Then came the “serious” games.
Risk, Munchin, Hold ‘Em, these are games with a deadline built in. There’s some involvement required, but by and large, they’re relatively easy to pick up. They don’t require game manuals the size of novels, or a complicated points system contingent on a roll of the dice.
As this process of gaming choices continues, I’m seeing this game playing evolution more closely resembling the downward steps of a drug addiction. From what started with a simple game that was easy to learn and enjoy, now I’m being introduced, and “encouraged” to try the harder, more complex and involved games.
And this is where you know that this is a serious game — there has to be an hour-long strategy meeting before we even begin to play the game.
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My will to fight hasn’t been strong, but it’s not because I didn’t try. Peer pressure is a powerful force. And since these are my friends, I don’t want them not to like me, right? So I joined in.
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A few friends got into Magic: The Gathering, buying the starter packs and encouraging me to buy one of my own so that I could have one on hand for the next time there was a match. Thankfully my wife’s will was stronger than mine, and I have yet to buy one.
I have played a few matches with them. The first adventure into the game I’m sure my sole opponent threw so that I would end up enjoying the experience and would hopefully come back. But it’s been more of a forced adventure.
Then came Mutant: Year Zero.
It’s a Dungeons & Dragons type of game. From what I understand it’s looser on the number crunching than its predecessor. But to me it was still this quagmire of rules, dice rolling, and points systems. Therefore, I wasn’t too keen on trying it out.
Sadly I caved much faster this time to the peer pressure.
It also didn’t help that a friend printed out copies of the game manual, character sheets, weapons sheets, rules etc., and put them all in a convenient binder for me. There went another excuse for not getting involved.
These guys, amid the chaos of growing up, becoming adults and fathers, breadwinners, mortgage payers, still want to spend time with me.
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And this is where you know that this is a serious game — there has to be an hour-long strategy meeting before we even begin to play the game. During this session there has to be a discussion about where to stage the game, game mechanics, characters need to be flushed out, relations established, weapons chosen, finer points meted out, and on and on and on. Everyone needs to agree on these things.
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Cue a moment of clarity — how and why did I let this happen?
Yes, I am a geek; I can recite lines from movies I saw once as a kid, explain the finer points of why Cyclops is a much better character overall than Wolverine, and name the vague background characters in Star Wars.
But the hardcore role-playing-games? That was a line I drew in the sand a long time ago.
There was no way I was going to be “that kind” of geek. Maybe it had something to do with misplaced pride, a misreading of what was ‘cool’ growing up, or the aforementioned quagmire, but I never thought of these games as something I wanted to do.
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And yet, here I am.
Character sheets in hand.
Getting ready to play.
How did it come to this?
A more appropriate question might be; do I need to get out of this?
Despite the parallel that was drawn between drug addiction and this progression of game choices, there is a huge difference; playing Mutant: Year Zero is not a bad thing.
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This is an odd insurance policy that states we will, at the very least, be linked together for some time.
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The true enemy in this case is old thinking. Some thought from long ago, even if it was created from sound logic at the time, is now irrelevant and unnecessary to maintain. Besides, I haven’t exactly been suggesting new games to play either.
All of this inner turmoil over the choice of games and how they’re played is blocking out the truth of the situation; these guys, amid the chaos of growing up, becoming adults and fathers, breadwinners, mortgage payers, still want to spend time with me. They desire my friendship and vice-versa.
Should I really be complaining about the game over which we socialize?
And what’s better — there’s no winner or loser at the end of it, if it ever does end. The four of us instead get locked into a game that we have to keep up with. This is an odd insurance policy that states we will, at the very least, be linked together for some time. And I do enjoying hanging out with these guys. I’ve put in the time with them and I consider them my closest friends.
So why did I have a problem with this at all?
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Photo: Getty Images