Pete Wilson writes a poem to his daughter whom he hasn’t seen in three years.
—
I was there
at the moment you were born.
I held you
walked endlessly with you
took you to play school
then school
and then the unthinkable happened…
Mamma and me
We grew apart.
Like many parents do
We lost each other somewhere
in the daily routine of it all.
We got angry at each other
and I left.
I didn’t know at the time
but that would mean I left you too…
I had made mamma sad
and you blamed me,
you grew more and more angry
sounding more and more like mamma.
Mamma is a brilliant mamma.
She has never spared herself
in doing all she could for you.
She believed she was doing the best thing
In keeping me away from you.
When she heard you were scared of me
She had every right
to put your wishes
before mine.
Later you not wanting to meet me
was not a surprise
even if really sad.
I am really sorry it came to this
really sorry that I missed you growing up,
sorry I never hear how it’s going at school
who your friends are or what your likes and dislikes are.
I just want you to know
I’ve never stopped loving you
never given up hope that one day
you’ll be able to choose yourself
and want to meet.
I’ll be ready when you do
and understand if you don’t.
I’ll face all your questions
And be honest with all my answers
Even if you get angry
Even if you blame it all on me.
I can’t promise I won’t get sad when you cry
because I am sad
I’m not part of your life
and I want to be honest with you
There hasn’t gone a day
When I haven’t thought of you
Haven’t missed you
Haven’t wanted to hear your voice.
Take care, sweet one
in love
and with love
and in trust to a higher understanding.
Pappa Pete
Photo: Moyan_Brenn Flickr Creative Commons License