Better Dating Through Mind Control

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About Harris O'Malley

Harris O'Malley provides geek dating advice at his blog Paging Dr. NerdLove, as well as writing the occasional guest review for and appearing on the podcast The League of Extremely Ordinary Gentlemen. He can be found dispensing snark and advice on Facebook and Twitter (@DrNerdLove.)

Dr. NerdLove is not really a doctor.


  1. “…the realization that I had a choice…”

    Yes, this pretty much sums it up for myself as well. Which, as you also stated, isn’t to suggest that everything fell into place. But the opportunity and experience and decision-making made a world of a difference as far as not allowing “things” to get out of control.


    Loved the article.

  2. Cognitive behavior therapy techniques, meditation, yoga, self compassion. Worked for me. Helps move people from passive and victim to assertive and self loving. Doesn’t mean one’s world does a 180 in terms of “and then I got a new job making a million bucks and 5 new lovers” but it may mean steps in the direction of happiness and wholeness.
    Takes a while, takes commitment, doesn’t mean no pain in life. But moving that locus of control is a positive step.

  3. Hell yeah. Advice that doesn’t comprise of “Guys it’s all in your heads. Women are the ones that have it hard now man up and suck it up.”.

    There’s good stuff going on here.

  4. succeeding in dating is about not being a pussy.

    meditate on that.

  5. Meaning trumps data, every time, and you get to make up your own meaning.

    Rock on, Harris!

  6. Speaking of getting a song stuck in your head…try this song. Music therapists use Eine Kleinenacht Musik by Mozart to elicit positive moods and reduce stress. If you know it, hum it to yourself and see if you smile.

    If makes you smile, hum to your date or someone else and try to get it stuck in their head.


  1. [...] Better Dating Through Mind Control Testosterone Week: How I Doubled My Testosterone Levels Naturally and You Can Too <img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-29905" alt="vintage_strongman" src="; width="296" height="377" /> At last we’ve reached the final post of Testosterone Week and based on the comments from you all, this is the post you’ve been most looking forward to. Today I’m going to share what I did during my 90-day experiment in order to double my total and free testosterone levels. I’m afraid I have no super cool “secrets” to share and there are no easy shortcuts to increasing your T. If you were expecting some magical potion or supplement or weird body hack that will instantly and naturally increase your T levels, what follows is bound to disappoint. Testosterone Week: What’s a “Normal” Testosterone Level and How to Measure Your T <img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-29881" alt="blood" src="; width="449" height="520" /> Welcome back to Testosterone Week! If you’re just joining us, I recommend checking out our two previous posts in the series: the benefits of testosterone and a short primer on how T is made . Today we’ll be taking a look at what’s considered a normal testosterone level and how you can get your testosterone levels tested. As I began researching testosterone levels and hormone testing for this series, I quickly learned that there’s a lot of conflicting and confusing information out there — some websites will say that “X” is a normal testosterone level, while another website says “Y” is the ideal range. First Date Essentials: What Every Man Should Have With Him <img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-10291" title="opening door for woman" src="; alt="" width="387" height="370" /> The First Date with a woman is your chance to display your charming and chivalrous side. While most acts of chivalry (like opening a door for your date or helping her to her seat) require only your thoughtfulness, moments will arise when you’ll need a tool to assist in your kindness. Below I’ve included a short list of items I recommend a well-armed gentleman having on him during a first date (or any time for that matter) that will prepare him for any situation and leave his date impressed. When it comes to the differences between men and women, some are arguably cultural and some are biological. And the ones that are biological all pretty much have one thing in common: testosterone. It was testosterone that helped form your penis and scrotum when you were just a fetus and put those first awesome hairs on your chest as a teenager. [...]

  2. [...] Better Dating Through Mind Control <b>What are advance directives? </b> Advance directives are written instructions about your future medical care. [...]

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