There is increasing backlash from white men who feel vilified and targeted as being the source of all cultural ills.
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Scenario 1: Hair There and Everywhere
A white woman was shot to death this morning after an altercation with a black man at a lunch counter. “She kept hitting me with her long hair when she tossed it” theman said as he was led away in handcuffs “They’re always tossing their hair, never minding who it hits and where if flies…and this one had one of those whiny, whiny voices and played with her food like a two year old…it was too much, I just snapped.”
This actually happened inside my head last weekend when I was having lunch in Los Angeles. Seated at a counter, the woman next to me kept flinging her hair and droning on and on about some nonsense with a boy she was texting, while mashing a piece of pie into a vile baby food like paste; not easy to ignore in the close proximity of counter seating. But as it was, this is a scene that I’ve been a part of repeatedly through my life, where a white woman with long hair thinks nothing of tossing it in my face, on my body, in my food. I have learned great patience with this. But to my knowledge, no one has pulled a gun on someone for this casual, though exceedingly personal rudeness. It is a cultural behavior with built in assumptions: “all girls do that,” “she didn’t mean any harm,” “gee, its a little sexy”…all in all not considered a life threatening situation, despite being a direct invasion of personal space. Yet, the state of Florida has once again been through a racially charged trial based on another kind of cultural behavior that somehow, has, once again been treated as a life threatening situation. Rest in Peace Jordan Davis.
As a nation, we have never before faced a critical mass of empowered people of color and marginalized populations who were not so much asking for change in the cultural narrative about equality as they are now making the change.
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Scenario 2: White Male Guilt
“Why does it always have to come back to race?” His face was a perfect picture of genuine frustration and vulnerability. “I mean, every time I hear about the economy from a person of color, I feel like I want to crawl under a rock. It makes me ashamed of the color of my skin…and it makes me angry that I can’t disagree. I feel helpless”
I have had several recent interactions like this with white men where they ask or say something to the effect of “can I do anything right?” and “why do I always feel guilty?” and “why are white guys always wrong these days?” What is most surprising is that these are the liberals; progressives who are supposedly living lives that are dedicated to social, racial and economic justice. I read a lot of blogs and online content and often when a piece involves statements about colonialism or inequality and race, there is increasing backlash in the comments from white men who feel vilified and targeted as being the source of all cultural ills.
Scenario 3: A “Black” President
President Obama is poised to launch the “My Brother’s Keeper” Initiative. This is not only a first in American history by specifically targeting improvements for men of color from a National perspective, but it is seen as a fitting legacy for the country’s first black president who is uniquely positioned to leverage his own identity to address the United States continuing challenges around men of color. Praised by most progressives, there is also backlash from predominantly white groups who feel this is too narrow a focus for a US president and also some from women’s activist groups who feel there is already too much focus on outcomes for men.
President Obama has made it clear that one of the legacies he will leave will be to have made a commitment to helping black men counter the institutionalized cultural barriers and hurdles that still linger in our national consciousness. Although he is mixed race, he identifies as a black man and sees an opportunity to leverage this social location into real and positive change. But already there are ugly attacks on his Presidency and threats to his and other black men’s personal safety for highlighting this work. Part of me wonders how is this different than George Bush and his commitment to faith based communities based on his identity as a Christian?
Where This is Heading
I lay out these scenarios because I believe that they are the formula for a perfect storm. We are facing the very real prospect of a true revolution unlike any we have seen before and one for which, in our techno driven, isolated, “me centered” existences we are ill prepared. As a nation, we have never before faced a critical mass of empowered people of color and marginalized populations who were not so much asking for change in the cultural narrative about equality as they are now making the change. In California alone, there are community organizations that are pointing toward redefining the place for indigenous sensibilities in the lives of young men of color; organizations that lift up the unique relationship between Latino communities, parents and LGBTQ people; others that are dedicated to new educational models for young people of color or re-imagining how people of color can access healthcare through school communities…the list goes on.
…the real enemy is anyone who has adopted and perpetuated the attitudes from colonial culture that exclude “the other” for more selfish opportunities.
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These organizations represent the result of cultural fatigue of asking but never receiving from the dominant hierarchies, from the government systems and agencies. The result is marginalized people and specifically people of color representing their communities in state and local legislature and making changes that will help the people they come from. The history of missed opportunities for people of color, is part of the fabric of what this nation comes from and goes right back to the beginning. The best example is how the founding fathers of the United States had the opportunity in early drafts of the Declaration of Independence to significantly alter the prevalence and conversation around slavery in the fledgling country (see full text HERE). However, it was determined that this language would imperil the success of securing independence over all. Basically, dealing with the injustice of slavery, took a back seat to the priorities of the white landed men who were more concerned about separation from British rule and protecting their own interests. People are through with waiting.
But there is a bigger lesson here. The title of this entry is “Black Male Achievement ≠ White Male Failure” (if you are unfamiliar with the “≠” symbol or your computer doesn’t display it properly it stands for “does not equal.”) In the fight for rights in America, we are at a crucial point. Those fighting for rights are no longer looking at success as being defined by the standards and approval of the dominating culture (largely white men.) And as a result, instead of looking at polarizing in-equalities we have to explore unifying equalities that exist in a broader cultural landscape and increasingly varied social locations. Where the language was once “level the playing field” and “war on: poverty, sexism, racism, etc.” (language that subtly implies winners and losers) the language must now speak of community, interdependence and universal balance if we are to actually avoid negating (or worse obliterating) one another all together. The “stone soup” analogy fits here: independently, we will starve; blending our ingredients together, we will all be nourished. Therefore, the “enemy” (if you subscribe to that language) is not just white and male; the real enemy is anyone who has adopted and perpetuated the attitudes from colonial culture that exclude “the other” for more selfish opportunities. Adopting an attitude of “I’ve got mine” is cultural violence that ultimately will not sustain progress. Shockingly, the “I’ve got mine” violence usually takes the form of silence. Yes, the violence is conservative white politicians changing the landscape of voting rights, and the violence is in “Gay Jim Crow” laws in Kansas. But the violence is also in white LGBTQ silence on issues of race and African American silence on Immigration rights and Asian American silence on issues of financial disparity and minimum wage increase.
My gayness does not diminish your straightness; her Judaism doesn’t diminish your Islam; and indeed, black male achievement does not mean white male failure.
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So in the end, would I be justified shooting a blonde for flinging her hair at me? No. Is a white man justified for killing a black kid who’s music was too loud? No. Are white men always wrong? No. Are black men always right? No. The only way we can actually know one another is by sharing real relationships with each other without value judgements and comparisons. My gayness does not diminish your straightness; her Judaism doesn’t diminish your Islam; and indeed, black male achievement does not mean white male failure.
There is plenty of room at the counter and plenty of soup for all of us.
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@Tom and Paul: Do either of you know what the comparative unemployment rate is for white males and black males? It is 5.2 for white males(5.4 for white women) and 12 for black males. I know what you are thinking: white males are smarter, work harder and have more experience and education than black males. Adjusting for your natural superiority, the numbers are still horribly, horribly in favor of white people. Black people with the same education and experience earn significantly less than whites and suffer higher unemployment rates than whites do. They can also expect to be unemployed far… Read more »
Come on Tom. As good old Catholic kids you and I were both taught, probably daily, to be mindful and thankful of our privileges no matter how small. Understanding this It was a part of our Catholic DNA. How many times did you hear growing up,” Boy you better be thankful you have food to eat and a roof over your head and clothes on your back!!!” There was none of this indulging every whim and desire a child has. You didn’t order up what you wanted for dinner. You ate what was on your damn plate or went to… Read more »
I think I see “privilege” as something different. I agreed with Wes in that I see people with power and money (being the big wheel) given more breaks, benefits and more opportunities then those of us who are the small cogs. I guess where I get hung up is the idea that what I have is privilege. I’ve worked my ass off to have what I have, no matter how little it is. My business career started in the throws of feminism. I had no privilege in that affirmative action was put in place. Affirmative action pushed me down that… Read more »
@Tom Do you know what the comparative unemployment rates are for black males versus white males? It is 5.4 for white males(white women 5.2) and 12 for black males. Of course, the natural reaction to hearing this for most white people (those who even care to know)is to say whites have more education because, as we all know, white people are smarter and harder working than black males/people. And in so doing they ignore the impact of the 300 year old legacy of slavery and .as Paul says denying me my humanity. However, black people with the same credentials as… Read more »
The only white men who have privilege are the ones at the top of the pyramid like politicians, lawyers and CEOs. The rest of us are just cogs in the machine or cannon fodder. They also benefit from us arguing with each other which keeps any real change from happening.
I agree Wes.
I think american black men should start asking how a white, pro-segregationist senator called Howard W Smith that was against the Civil Rights Bill bit could stop it, managed to redirect most of the benefits to white women.
Thank you all for your comments! Whether you agree or disagree with my perspective, I believe that is the point (as the tagline of this website says: the conversation no one else is having.) The more we are able to express our views, the better we can have a chance of actually understanding one another.
I really enjoyed this article. As an older white woman I have experienced discrimination in many forms, usually white men being the culprits. But certainly not to the degree black men and women and all people of color experience. Makes me sad, and also grateful I am aware of this and can work to change it.
Tried posting on this article twice, and it has not come up. Was wondering why. Thanks.
It appears to be a system glitch… I was having the same problem but it appears to have been corrected
Great piece. In the comments of ogwriter and Mostly_123 above I notice a problem with perception that is at the crux of this issue. That is, the individual vs. the society. We are all just individuals, but we’re examining greater social issues. Individuals are simply not to blame for society’s ills. They are accountable for their own actions, but they can’t control what others do and can’t be blamed for what their ancestors did. Society, on the other hand, can and should address such issues. A white man who cares, who desires equality, generally works within his own existence to… Read more »
Thank you Paul for this comment. I will offer here one thing about my personal journey that may not be evident from the article itself: I have had my greatest challenges and received my greatest affronts, hits, scars, career obstacles, relationship barriers and a whole lot of other stuff directly at the hands of white men. By some accounts, I have every excuse to be a violently militant person. But despite the power of the pain I have, the power of my belief that we all deserve humanity (as you say above) is much stronger. It is the greatest lesson… Read more »
@Paul Hobson How friggin’ difficult is it to treat others as one might wish to be treated themselves? That is what it comes down to. It ain’t rocket science. Where is our integrity as a country, as a people? . We can just say we believe in fairness and equality but behave entirely differently. and not expect to be held accountable. Nonsense .Arrogant. Selfish.
@Adam I don’t know how old you are but I suspect you are a bit younger than me. I was born the year after Emmitt till was kidnapped by white terrorists, and was beaten and drowned. My first years in school were during desegregation. I experienced things that you will never have to go through. There are things you and my children take for granted that you can do that I couldn’t. My mother experienced things that I did not.. Things far worse than I had to deal with.. You are in a position to deal with a diluted version… Read more »
@Paul Hobson Sorry Paul but I am done holding the collective hand of white America because they can’t deal with this stuff. We are responsible for wrongs done by our fore bearers. And if we stupidly ignore our responsibility we will repeat the same awful mistakes. That we are still dealing with racial bullshit is an embarrassment in this country,the land of the free(what utter nonsense)and we should be ashamed of ourselves. Because we are not demonstrates how backward we are. Damn it what does it take? How many cultures must be crushed under the boot of American racism before… Read more »
You tackled some difficult issues and handled them in a beautifully written essay. I am increasingly concerned with the lack of interest / response to the issue of massive inequalities, in a system founded on all men being created equal. Your concept of a critical mass being reached is one I think about often. You speak of both isolation from each other and our techno driven culture. I see the techno driven culture as the solution to that isolation. Despite the explosion of the internet as a means of communicating ideas, I think its’ power has not even begun to… Read more »
although i don’t agree with every single one of your views (from other articles) I love the way you write and your comfort with voicing your beliefs
Let me see if the moderators can stomach some truth. The first slave arrived in America in 1619.How many white people know this fact? Statistically speaking less than 10% of the population. How many white people know anything about the history of black enslavement in America? Very few. It took 346 years-that’s when the Civil Rights bill was passed- before black people could even compete against whites for jobs, for places in school, for houses ,etc. .And even then, it was not fair. Do the math. That means that whites have had a 300 year head start over blacks.So, 49… Read more »
I think you just reproved the point of the article. It is about relationships and understanding, that is the real education that will create value for all. History is just that and we study it so the same mistakes are not made over and over. We live here and now not in the pages of a history book. Relate and educate.
“So, 49 years after Civil Rights was passed, blacks are supposed to take the complaints of whites seriously? A usual, whites expect far more empathy, patience and sensitivity of those who were victimized than they do of themselves.” I don’t know if I’d say it was an absolute, universal & uniform expectation; but conditionally and situationally, at the very least, I think that’s an important point to remember. Philosophically speaking here, a person who has actively or passively denied others (personally, situationally, or institutionally) this empathy, patience, and sensitivity has thus little moral ground left to argue for, or to expect,… Read more »
Same OLE USA, the way it was born, it the way it will perish, which is unfortunate, because it is the FREE land….
I’ll level with you dude. I don’t give a crap what happened to some people who came before my time. I can only account for my own actions, and you for yours. Open racism on the part of minorities is NOT going to do you any favors, so drop the attitude.
@Diz I prefer to be called ogwriter, t hank you very much. Whether you give a crap about history matters little..We are shaped and informed by history, it tells us who we are today. The Constitution, the Bible, and other religious texts, Buddhism, Democracy, socialism, technology are all from the past. It tells us who we are, even though we may dent it. unless, of course, celebrating the past sheds favorable light onto us. The idea that you or anyone else is big enough to resist the influence of history is patently false, unless you can prove otherwise. I did… Read more »
@Diz If your remarks were directed at me. I prefer to be called ogwriter .I do not recall writing anything even remotely racist. Nor am I promoting racism. You may not give a crap about history but you are bound to it anyway. We are the past. All that has happened before makes us what we are now, a partially democratic, Protestant Christian country, among other things.
Thanks for a great article, Adam. Ultimately, it is as you say. Sharing real relationships is our greatest collective hope.