The surprise lesson on “Masculine Purpose” Bryan Reeves learned on walkabout in the Australian Outback desert.
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Fifteen years ago, I was a Captain in the USAF and had everything “they” told me I was supposed to want and work for: money, prestigious work, a nice home by the beach, an amazing intimate partner and most everything else.
Yet, I was mostly miserable. What was missing?
I decided I was simply a man disconnected from his “true life purpose.”
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Masculine purpose.
“A man must have purpose,” is a common refrain I often hear in men’s groups and trainings these days. It’s essential a man find his purpose in life and commit to living it, so the thinking goes. A woman (or another man) can’t be his purpose. Money alone can’t be his purpose. Success could be his purpose, as long as it’s “worthy” (of what, I’m not entirely sure).
In any case, I certainly felt disconnected from purpose when I was in the military. I was sure I didn’t come here to build weapons or soldier for any government army.
So I left, broken and despairing and utterly lost in my own life, completely severed from any sense of purpose at age 26.
I spent the next two years traveling the world looking for my true purpose – really, just any way out of my suffering.
I went looking in dark places (Auschwitz), lonely places (a marriage in France with someone I didn’t know), gorgeous places (the Swiss Alps), and empty places (the Outback) … and so many more wild and awful and exquisite places.
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I went looking in dark places (Auschwitz), lonely places (a marriage in France with someone I didn’t know), gorgeous places (the Swiss Alps), and empty places (the Outback) … and so many more wild and awful and exquisite places.
When I was in the Australian Outback, I had an opportunity to go to one of the most glorious sacred Aboriginal sites in the country, Uluru, that iconic red spaceship-shaped rock in the red desert heart of the continent.
I knew, though, the only way I was getting there at that time was by tourist bus where they’d probably serve us champagne at sunrise while sitting on cozy stools before inviting us to climb the rock, an insult to the aboriginal people. I was pretty sure I wouldn’t find my purpose in any artificial way, so I decided it wasn’t the time for me to make that journey.
I left Australia without my purpose, and not knowing if I would ever return. I believed in my heart I would return someday to complete the journey to Uluru … but in the “right” way.
That “right way” showed up in August through work I have been doing for almost 3 years with my own life coach, Catherina. (I’m also a coach, and I stay vigilant with doing my own inner work!)
So while my friends went off to Burning Man Festival in the Nevada desert, I went on walkabout into the Australian desert, my own heart set afire, to complete that sacred journey I began fifteen years ago in desperate search for the truth of who I really am and what I really came here to do – my true purpose.
All those years ago I only found more sadness and despair and confusion. I know now that’s only because I was looking with the anxious eyes of fear and disconnection.
This time, however, while sleeping under a deep black outback sky frosted in moonlight sprinkled with stars, I finally awoke to the most profound truth about my own masculine purpose in life.
In this video I share that life-changing epiphany that hit me so hard I literally got dizzy in the desert as my heart caught fire.
(hint: think love)
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** NOTE: This video was recorded at Kata Tjuta, an ancient sacred rock formation in the center of Australia where Aboriginal men have gone (and still go) to perform secret masculine rituals for thousands of years.
Photo—Bryan Reeves/YouTube
Loved your authenticity and open heart Brother. Like many (most?) men, I’ve struggled with the idea of my purpose –until I realized that “purpose” (for me anyways) is not a “doing” but rather how I show up –i.e. fully open hearted and vulnerable (i.e. no protective armor). BTW, are you familiar with the ManKind Project (http://MKPusa.org)? It’s an incredibly forward thinking organization dedicated to helping men become more conscious in all areas of their lives. And, I could agree with you more about celebrating the feminine –here’s my TEDx Talk about Extraordinary Intimacy in the realm of the feminine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK8f8w7ICng… Read more »
I love and appreciate this post! It gives me hope that with this growing consciousness, men and women will relearn to trust each other again and find connection and intimacy once more. Thank you Bryan for being at the forefront of this movement
Thank you, Nadira. I’m really glad you see the import of what’s in this video. It’s truly massive!! Love, Bryan