Chasing Christina and Why I Stopped Being a Player

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About LeRon Barton

LeRon Barton is a writer/backpacker traveling man living in San Francisco. His first book, Straight Dope: A 360 Degree Look into American Drug Culture was published in 2013. You can read him at mainlinepub.com and follow him on Twitter @MainlineLeRon

Comments

  1. “Everyt”Everything runs it course…” Unfortunately, for many that includes a desire for monogamy as well. There aren’t many significant differences between being a player and a boyfriend. It’s mostly just a matter of identity and which role we’d rather play. The real significant life change doesn’t happen for most until you throw the roles of husband and father into the mix, which is something our society actively discourages for most young people.

    The only thing that’s really helped me so far is to redefine myself into roles that have nothing to do with women and to establish healthy boundaries around my relationships with women. There are many different roles we can play between player and long-term committed life partner, it’s ultimately just a matter of settling upon a role that works best for you and your partner(s).
    hing runs it course…” Unfortunately, for many that includes a desire for monogamy as well.

  2. Interesting. Love it. She’s out there waiting for you :)

  3. Valter Viglietti says:

    Well done, LeRon. It’s called “growing up”. :)
    Not necessarily in the sense of monogamy, marriage or commitment (those are choices, and all choices are personal and never “right or wrong”, per se), but in the sense of stopping doing something just to avoid your self-esteem issues.

    Sleeping around may be fine (as long as you do not deceive and/or use other people), but it’s really lame when you do it just as a “crutch” (“OMG, if I don’t get laid I’m worth nothing!”).
    I’ve been there, I know how it feels.

    I’m glad you got to someplace where you feel you’re ok just the way you are. It was about time. ;)
    That kind of awareness works way better in establishing meaningful relationships; although there’s no guarantee of finding your soulmate (I don’t believe in fairy tales), you now have much better chances to meet her.
    Good luck! :D

  4. Brandie says:

    It’s one stepping stone at a time that builds the path. You are well on your way to what sounds like a purposeful pursuit of a meaningful relationship. Thank you for sharing LeRon. Miss ya!

  5. FlyingKal says:

    Where did Ryan meet Christina?

  6. Jackie Morrison says:

    I hope you meet “the one” for you this year. Sometimes these moments are exactly what it takes to realize you really do want the right one. Not just for a moment but a lifetime.

  7. Peace LeRon. I just got out of a long relationship where I got my heart broken and it really messed up my life plans. I wound up moving out of our place, out of state and back to the city I grew up in. Now I’m single, dating around, enjoying the fact that women like me again, that I get that attention that makes me feel good right now, but I see the walls closing in eventually on that. It’s funny how the moment when we get so self-actualized, we become concerned with wasting or squandering our best selves on just one person, but rather the fact remains, we can become an even better version of ourselves with the right woman to be committed to. I wish you the best my dude.

    • Anonymous says:

      Peace to you JR. You know, when you are out there playing the field, it is cool. You feel great, it is fun, and exciting, but there is something lacking. A friend of mine once told me, “I was a better man when I was married.” I didn’t understand what he meant at the time, but now I do. Like you said, the right woman can make you a better version of yourself.

  8. Thanks for that honest article LeRon. As a woman it was refreshing to read what is behind men’s actions such as sleeping around and that it also insecurities like with many women. It was also interesting to see how men and women seem to feel similar things. I too have just decided to look for a manogomous relationship and for me it has meant a shift in the way I approach dates and what I look for in a man. :-)

  9. “Christina had class and up until that moment, I had never met a woman that possessed it.”

    Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black! Did you ever stop to think that these ‘class-less’ women suffered from low self esteem as well? Perhaps instead of judging them, you could recognize their experiences as not dissimilar to your own.

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