It is time to get comfortable with the uncomfortable in order to break down stereotypes for boys.
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Ignorant of the gender segregation of baby clothing prior to my first pregnancy, I thought that a vibrant rainbow of colors was for everyone, especially children. I thought that by the 2000s we would be far enough along to know that boys and girls can both like trucks and dolls interchangeably. I was naïve and I was in for a surprise.
After I gave birth to my son, I was truly astonished to find that your average baby boutique has a stark gender divide. One half is a vast sea of pink everything. You’ll find a fair number of sequins and sparkles over there along with skinny straps and princess references. But I find the boys side quite striking too. Not only is it a wash of muted blues, greens, and browns, but the macho messaging is quite potent. Heavy machinery, sports, and large fanged beasts dominate the scene along with messages like “Little Guy, Big Attitude”, “I’m cute, mommy’s hot, and daddy’s lucky.” and “Boob Man” Seriously? I thought, on babies?
My son was brand new. I didn’t know what his interests would be. Are we certain he is going to love sports over cooking? And maybe he’ll like flowers and gardening. I felt uncomfortable putting him in many of the boy clothes.
Inspired to create some clothing alternatives, I started drawing, printing, and experimenting. I set out to make baby clothes that draw attention to these stereotypes. I found that the “girl” graphics were easy to identify and execute. Take a truck, print it on pink and, easy as can be, you’ve got girl power. The “boy” graphics were a little trickier though. You can’t just take a unicorn, print it blue on say it’s for boys. Well you can, but the girl unicorn theme trumps “boy blue,” and since girls can wear any color, we’re back to girly. So I played around with the ideas. Take a whisk, make it orange on brown, add the name “Mr. Tough Guy Whisk.” It gets us pretty close. With my trucks and dinos on pink, my vacuums and roses in blues and browns, I started selling my shirts in local venues.
“A dinosaur for girls!!! YEESSS!!!”
From the very first day, I heard this kind of enthusiastic feedback. The “boy” designs, though, make people a little uncomfortable. People squirm. They laugh a little. Only a few hard-core fans will say, “I have to have the spray cleaner for my son!” And I get a lot of this: “Do you have this dinosaur on a “boy” color?” At first I felt badly, “No,” I would say, “but look at this adorable bunny!” Over time, though, I have become more comfortable. Nowadays I say, “That’s not what I do.”
Why are we so much more comfortable encouraging little girls to like trucks and tools than we are encouraging boys to like flowers and domesticity?
I sometimes feel that it would be easy for me to give up on the “boy” side of the aisle. We could easily say, “People aren’t ready for this.” But then I wonder, “When are we going to be ready?”
Every day, boys are put down and bullied for wearing pink, for toting their My Little Pony lunchboxes and for liking “girl” stuff. Meanwhile girls who like sports and climbing trees are called “tomboys” and we hardly take notice. We even celebrate their liberation from girliness. I’m not saying that girl empowerment isn’t important. It is! What I’m saying is that I regularly watch people get uncomfortable about questioning male gender stereotypes, then turn around to cheerlead for breaking down stereotypes for girls. I think we need to look at this. If we want to break down stereotypes, both boys and girls need our help: girls need to know that they can pursue any path and aren’t limited to traditionally female roles, and boys need to know that they can be empathic, relational, caring people, not just tough guys and superheroes.
I think it’s about time we start asking ourselves the difficult questions: if a truck on pink is acceptable for girls, and we call that empowerment, why are we squirming in our seats over boys wearing butterflies? I write this as call to fellow moms, dads, grandparents, teachers and anyone who loves a little boy. Let’s get uncomfortable, and get comfortable with that! We need to start telling people how it is. Flowers are for boys! Pink is for boys! Ladybugs are for boys! Or better yet: Everything is for everyone! It’s time for our children to hear us say it. For girls and boys. For children.
Photo: Flickr/Bec
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