I’d like to talk about the articles which claim to tell women what men do and do not like. So, here’s a list of trends I actually hate.
—-
1) Articles that tell me how I feel Oftentimes, they’re written by women and usually they make broad general statements about all men. Well, let me tell you something: In a country of 350 million people, the three guys you have coffee with occasionally are not a representative sample size. Personally, I didn’t know what a peplum was until I read an article telling me I hated them. Is that how you say that? A peplum? I don’t even know. Do you know what a peplum is? It’s some kind of pleated skirt-a-ma-bob that goes over a skirt. Apparently, women love them. I’ve never seen a woman wearing one but the article tells me that all women love them. Let me walk you through the only two feelings I’ve ever had about them. Upon first seeing a peplum: That’s kind of silly looking. Upon seeing Salma Hayek in a peplum: I kind of like them now.
2) Thoughtless reactions from “feminist” bloggers You read an article written by a woman based on a few guys she knows and you decided that all men are trying to dictate how you dress? I understand the visceral recoil from women; oftentimes, they feel as if men are exerting authority over their bodies. That is very serious. However, these bloggers tend to turn off their critical thinking skills when these sorts of articles appear. So, let’s break it down: These articles are often written by women. Oftentimes, these articles “poll” fewer than fifty men. Usually these articles are written by people living in New York City or Los Angeles. Who do you think are the friends of fashion bloggers in New York City? If you said “other fashion types”, give yourself a cookie.
These reactionary bloggers ignore all the signs that articles such as these are bunk because they want to be outraged. Anger in response to something so obviously silly and untrue is just divisive. Tumblr users have responded with posts such as “how to wear all the fashion trends men hate at once”. Which leads to the most maddeningly useless and dismissive sentence a man can utter: not all men are like that. But in this case, it’s never been more true. Not all men hate pointy toe shoes. Seriously? Isn’t that something like half of all high heels? I might have an opinion if I saw a woman in the gym rocking some six inch pointy toe pumps on a treadmill set to 9.0mph with an incline. Just out in the world? Nope. I’m perfectly fine with women wearing shoes. I’m progressive that way.
3-10) There aren’t any more points I read some pretty compelling data saying that readers prefer lists. I polled three random dudes I sometimes pass in the park when I go running; apparently, that’s all it takes to make blanket statements about 175 million people.
11) That’s right. I promised ten points and we’re on number eleven According to the Huffington Post article, men hate “ultra-high heels”. This is why the average swimsuit model poses in a pair of sensible Doc Martens with padded arch support.
Photo—Flickr/ Simple Skye
I should really try to get published in The Good Men Project. This article captured a great topic.
” Let me walk you through the only two feelings I’ve ever had about them. Upon first seeing a peplum: That’s kind of silly looking. Upon seeing Salma Hayek in a peplum: I kind of like them now.”
No truer words were ever spoken about women’s fashion as I think it relates to most guys. Initial reaction “oh that seems silly.” Then upon seeing ridiculously hot woman wearing it, “I think I kinda like it.”
Thanks for your article Christian, it was a nice read. However, I don’t get your critique of what you call “thoughtless reactions from feminist bloggers”. I don’t think they are trying to make a blanket statement that all men are the same and feel the same way about pieces of clothing or whatever. Many of them are doing exactly what you are doing when you critique “articles that tell you how to feel”, or just pointing out the absurd nature of such lists.
This made me giggle – going to have to Google peplum – going by the million articles of what women/men like/hate I’m not a good female representative! 😀
There is some truth to the fact that men women in New York City and Los Angeles writing on popular blogs make broad assumptions about men in America. Some of these women call themselves feminists as do some of these men. In the eyes of these volk, men are monochromatic. However, there are other culprits who engage in painting men as if they were monochromatic beings, culprits like: GQ and Esquire. GQ assumes that everybody wants to wear skinny jeans, and a tight fitting shirt to work. It also assumes that most men are going to purchase the pair of… Read more »
Those magazines aren’t assuming those things. They’re advertising them by trying to convince you that every guy is and should be dressers like that.
Heels? Did someone say “heels? My wife, even at her age has magnificent legs that when she wears heels, wow … I can’t take my eyes off her legs. That’s what caught my eye with this article. Of course she doesn’t wear them often but when she does ………. 😉
I have never found high heels attractive. They’re supposed to highlight or accentuate something or other, but I just don’t see it. Walking on something rickety is not attractive to me in the slightest. Being in danger of falling over, and being incapable of walking on an uneven surface are not the least bit sexy. And when the heel is too steep, the look backfires, because it makes the feet look like pig trotters. Cankles and trotters are definite turnoffs for this bloke.
What is this madness???!!???! You expect a group of otherwise forward thinking activists to stop treating “men” as a stereotype and actually treat each one as an Individual!?!?! More Madness!!! As for many of the articles about “these men I’ve polled” I do still find them to be useful. It’s interesting on a level of how some feminists feel about certain issues, that I then file away for later, when I try to come up with a line of reasoning that can help everyone to get along a little better. And then I post something in the comments how “I… Read more »
Before you link to that one video and cast it as “reactionary bloggers”- please take the time to read the description the author wrote below the video on Youtube: “the primary, intended target of the video was the bounty of articles, columns, interviews, videos, etc that dictate how women should wear/look like/etc to make themselves more appealing to men. regardless of whether they were written by men or women, the overall message is absolutely ridiculous. so in response, i made a satirical video which played on the ludicrousness of the articles/videos/magazines’ original intent. the secondary targets are men who legitimately… Read more »
Some good points made, and I would love for this kind of discussion to be more prevalent. However, I feel the need to point out that the linked video derisively charged with being “reactionary” and ” ‘feminist’ ” is clearly meant to be SATIRICAL and SHARES the author’s point that such lists of things men “hate” are in fact arbitrary, harmful, untrue and silly. (If, after watching it, you still doubt this, please read the blogger’s description of the video.) Not only have you missed the sarcasm in this (clearly humorous) video, but, with your assertion that “Anger in response… Read more »
Apologies for the double post, not intentional!
Some good points made, and I would love for this kind of discussion to be more prevalent. However, I feel the need to point out that the linked video derisively charged with being “reactionary” and ” ‘feminist’ ” is clearly meant to be SATIRICAL and SHARES the author’s point that such lists of things men “hate” are in fact arbitrary, harmful, untrue and silly. (If, after watching it, you still doubt this, please read the blogger’s description of the video.) Not only have you missed the sarcasm in this (clearly humorous) video, but, with your assertion that “Anger in response… Read more »
Dislike peplum. I just do
Careful with the headline. I mistook this for actual clickbait.
You just made my day, made me laugh, made me think, made me laugh some more. Made me wanna thank you. Thank you!
It was nice to hear you speak up, I’m am often sadden by many ‘blanket statements’ that somehow seem to think they cover a very wide variety of people. I’ve often wondered myself how I’m supposed to believe what I’m reading when I see things like what you quote from. Personally, I grew up in the bush of Alaska where practical was sexy, a quality pair of boots that were worn-in meant you might make it. When my mom first showed up though, she was a city girl and she only knew what city boys liked, people made bets on… Read more »
“If I saw a woman in the gym rocking some six inch pointy toe pumps on a treadmill set to 9.0mph with an incline.”
I would be seriously impressed. I tried my ex-girlfriend’s 3-inch heels and could barely walk in them. Someone successfully running in 6-inch heels at 9 mph would blow my mind.
If you are going to claim to dislike judgments, then please don’t make them. Putting the word feminist in quotation marks hints that you think all people who are feminists are the same.
I could have been more clear. That was not my intention at all; I consider myself a feminist. I was merely objecting to the classification of those sorts of responses as ‘feminist’.
Personally I just say some feminists.
Although since feminism has so many different beliefs, is there really even a way to positively generalize about feminism? For me the term has mostly lost it’s meaning, I pretty much try to ignore it and figure out what kinda person they are from writing. It’s also partly why something like 80% of people hold egalitarian views and less than 20% identify as feminist on some polls.
I think you may have just made a “judgement” about how the author intended we receive the word “feminist” in “scare quotes”. “Pot”, meet “kettle”.
I’ve never heard of a peplum. Looking at the word, I’d think it some kind of esophageal disorder. Learn something new every day.
Nicely done. I must say that I really don’t care what my female friends wear. I have no opinions on the subject. My partner asks me “how do I look”, and I tell her “beautiful”, because that’s how I see it. Her clothes really make no difference; maybe if she wore a gorilla suit or one of those godawful clown overalls, with the pom-poms, it’d be different, but as it is … no. There are no female fashions I love, or hate, or like, or prefer, or despise, or even give a damn about. It’s clothes.
A gorilla suit?! I would be all about that. I think that makes my point; it takes diff’rent strokes, it takes diff’rent strokes, it takes…you know the rest.
Oh yeah! This article is spot on. I hate the attitude of some of these journalists where they will say “We girls do this” when they actually mean “I do this” and “Men on the other hand do this” when they actually mean “my boyfriend does this”. You know, language came with a first person pronoun for a reason!
People who think they can talk for their entire gender! Men hate that!
Well said, Joseph. Your post also made me laugh-in a good way for a good reason.
Thanks for this. I am a super feminist and I always get worried about what it means to get carried away, about where to draw the line. You’ve helped me with that. This article also makes me want to end sexism even more- because it gives us these stereotypes about men when really, everyone is different.
Good post Christian. Sane, straight men (yeah, there are a few of these!) like women comfortable with themselves who don’t need to look outside for cues for self esteem. Mature, self-assured men are attracted to self-assured women, not haute couture. If the beauty is not visible from the inside, then all the exterior trappings are superfluous. Real men love real women, not fashion fads….
Fashion is no more then window dressing, It’s what’s inside that ultimately counts. I married my wife 39 years ago because of who she is and not what she wore. Hell, we were hippies. But then again, her legs …..mmmmm, those legs 🙂
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you….Thank you!
Jeff, you beat me to it, so ‘thank-you’ – to both you & Christian here.
I laughed. I am so glad to see an “all about what guys hate” article with some damn SENSE. Personally, I hate the word peplum. They’re cute, sure, but I feel like a 12 yr old in them. Salma Hayek can rock anything, though, seriously.
The only thing I dislike more than those kinds of lists are the ones that tell you how to make a woman/man happy. You know where there are 20 or points to make a woman happy and about 3 for men. I don’t know about you but I’m looking for a man more complicated and interesting than feed me, shag me and let me watch sport. But hey that’s obviously why I’m still single, I’m in a minority. Now to go and create a list.
Look your work
Ohh… ditto! I don’t like the us vs. them lists at all. From either side on any topic! Men and women alike ONLY know what they like and don’t like, and what the people they know or have come across in life like or don’t like. None of us can speak for the collective. You can’t tell me what men like any more than I can tell you what women like. I can tell you what I like or don’t like, you – as you have – can tell me what you like (or here, hate). It’s really all we’ve… Read more »