Kimberly Foster of ForHarriet.com won’t march on behalf of Eric Garner, because she’s only concerned with women at the moment.
The story of Eric Garner, choked to death by NYPD officers, is a tragic one. The investigation into Mr. Garner’s death is ongoing. If the city of New York decides to ignore the wrongful death of yet another black man, there will almost certainly be protests. Kimberly Foster, founder of the website For Harriet, won’t be attending any of these inevitable protests.
In her painfully uncaring post, Why I Will Not March For Eric Garner, Foster expresses sympathy for Garner and Garner’s family, but then writes at length about her callous indifference to his tragic death. Foster writes:
“While the effectiveness of social media in spreading Garner’s story heartens me. I could not refrain from comparing the empathy shown him, particularly by Black men, to that which is heartbreakingly absent when Black women attempt to discuss the everyday terrors we experience both in the world and at their hands. Watching black men show up for Garner after seeing so many derail conversations about Black women’s well-being leaves me with little more than a sinking feeling of despair upon recognition that the understanding so many of us crave will not come.”
Foster’s grievances are legitimate; too many men, black or otherwise, ignore and derail frank discussions of the hardships women face. Her conclusion is the troublesome part. She seems to be angry at every black man, whether she knows them or not, and because of this, she is incapable of honestly giving a damn that one of them was killed. Foster fails to see Eric Garner as an actual human being; to her, Garner was a walking, talking collection of privileges. She seems to believe that every man is a representative of all men, so until all men treat women with the respect they deserve, she’s fairly fine with them being killed in the street. Am I being too harsh? Possibly. However, Foster also has this to say:
“I’m not settling for anything less than reciprocity. If you refuse to hear our calls for help, then I cannot respond to yours. I have no desire, as a Black woman, to be placed on a pedestal, but I will not allow myself to become a footstool. Do not ask me for empathy if you are content to deny it in return. Many women continue to believe that offering unconditional support to the men who dismiss their calls for help will result one day in a return of care–as though they are watering a seed. But I have yet to see the fruit from that tree of hope, and I’m tired of waiting. So I will mourn Eric Garner and I will cry bitter, broken tears for him, but that is all that I can do.”
“If you refuse to hear our calls for help, then I cannot respond to yours.” I would just like to point out to Ms. Foster that I do not, in fact, know her. I don’t think I’ve ignored her, considering I hadn’t heard of her until about twenty-four hours ago. However, by virtue of being black and a man, I’ve wronged her so greatly that she won’t care if a policeman chokes me to death.
I hope I never need help from Kimberly Foster because, apparently, she’s already decided I don’t deserve it. It’s alright, though— black men are accustomed to being considered unworthy of true compassion.
ForHarriet was absolutely correct. She, like most others, gave her sympathies and even dropped a tear for her fallen brother. But that is all she is willing to offer. We talk of white privilege, but there is also male privilege. Just as many women are getting killed by police, but where are the men marching for them? What about the catcalling debacle… the majority of men saw no issue with it. Many men felf Janay Rice deserved getting knocked out in an elevator and we won’t even begin to talk about how black men reacted to Bill Cosby’s rape accusers!!… Read more »
The odd part is I actually have similar feelings towards others sometimes.
From an outside perspective its real easy to think that the reason people stand up and speak up for black men is because they are men. But its not. I can tell from experience when I speak up on race people listen carefully but when I talk about gender I’m basically the enemy.
So simply put I’m not mad that she feels that way, because honestly, I feel the same.
Her discussions were “derailed” and she is not putting up with it anymore!
I’m betting some random black man told her to shut up on a blog!
And there we have it.
Christian – your caveats for justifying her stupidity are on par nonsense.
You have got to be kidding me. She had a very reasonable complaint and it is entirely her decision as to whether or not she will attend any Garner protests.
“on par nonsense” is not how grammar works. It’s a phrase so mauled by your inability to construct coherent ideas that it has lost all semblance of meaning. Your opinion doesn’t count until you learn how to make sentences.
This is very wise writing. The main reason why I looki past MLK’s personal shortcomings is because he understood that trying to solve just racism without addressing worker rights and various other civil rights issues was a losing issue. It’s a bit like trying to bail out your leaking boat by taking the water and putting it into his or her boat as he or she is trying to do the same to neighboring boats. It doesn’t take a genius or even a highschool diploma to understand that it doesn’t work. But, some shortsighted people will try to do that… Read more »