William J. Peace may be in a wheelchair, but he can still f**k. Thanks for asking.
Originally appeared at the Strange Angels Blog
Using a wheelchair is the perfect cure for a big ego. Thanks to the Americans with Disabilities act of 1990, I may be equal in the eyes of the law but the hordes of bipedal people I encounter think I am public property, and their frankness is humbling, indeed. No question is too personal. I have been asked one in particular for three decades: “Can you have sex?” Men, women, and teenagers routinely ask this question. Friends ask me this. Strangers ask me this. Old people ask me. My son’s schoolteachers have asked me if I can have sex. Lawyers have asked, as have homeless people. People I have employed have asked me. Yes, the plumber and electrician are curious if I can have sex. Everyone that can walk is obsessed with my sex life. I have had it!
So let me be very clear and answer the question in no uncertain terms. I can fuck like a stallion. In fact I have been told that I have large balls and am well endowed. Heterosexual women love my cock. I know how to use it too. I get hard, stay hard and have great lasting power. Multiple women, after I have fucked their brains out, have breathlessly expressed amazement. More than once I have heard an “Oh my God I had no idea you could be that good.” When I was married, my wife was mute on the subject of sex with her friends. She was routinely asked, “Can he do it?” She would just smile. Have times changed. No. I am seeing a woman and walked her to work recently. As soon as I left her, the first question her co-worker asked was: “Can he have sex?” My friend turned crimson purple and said, “yes”.
I do not want to be perceived as a jerk. I do not kiss and tell. I am quite reserved. I am a good Catholic boy. I consider sex to be private. But I am getting older and weary of the same question. I am sick of it. My weariness is your good fortune if you are female and interested in fucking a crippled man. I am going to go out on a limb here. I am going to break cripple etiquette. You see the best-kept sexual secret in American society is crippled men. We crippled men love sex–absolutely love it. We love to lick pussy. Better yet, we are good at it. We like to finger pussy. And yes we are good at that as well. And yes we get full-blown American erections. Yes, I can penetrate a wet pussy with my cock. I love everything about pussy. I love big tits, average tits, and little tits. I love women’s bodies in all shapes and sizes. I love sex and will try anything once. I have sex as often as possible. The woman does not need to be on the top. I can fuck in any position except one—standing. I can take a woman from behind. I can fuck a woman up the ass. I can do it missionary style. I can do it in my wheelchair. I can do it doggy style. I can do it in the car. I can do it on a couch. I can do it anywhere. I am the Dr. Seuss of Sex. And now you know so stop fucking asking me if I can have sex.
Well said. I have been getting that same question for 30 years now. The only silver lining in the situation is that obviously, if women are asking, then they are intrigued… LOL!
I try not to be one to just say “Thanks for this.” (Nothing wrong with it objectively, just a bit boring to me.)
On that note let say something that has a lot of meaning in the context of this post.
Fuck Yeah!!!
As noted by many, the origin of the question is baffling: the muscle groups required for bipedal locomotion aren’t used in even plain old missionary PIV, so even a complete lack of sexual imagination isn’t an excuse. One is led to assume the question is code for “does your dick get hard?”, which is either just fucking crass as hell or some kind of bizarro come-on. The fuck is wrong with people? Does the fact that our culture desexualizes members of certain groups have some kind of causal relationship with the blindspots in these fools’ intellects and senses of common… Read more »
I believe it’s because some spinal injuries occur above the area in which the penis get’s the nerves, or at least popular media may suggest that. So I can understand why someone may ask that, I myself was curious if the “tackle” fully worked and what type of damage occured to leave someone wheelchair bound. Movies, tv shows etc are probably largely to blame, even I have no idea on if the “tackle” is still fully connected to the brain in most paraplegics. I guess it depends on which part of the spine gets injured or what type of illness/disability… Read more »
Yeah well, fuck standing up and someone might accuse you of dancing…
I didn’t know Adonis was a cripple.
Reminds me that in the Greek pantheon, Hephaestus, crippled god of the forge, was married to Aphrodite.
Yes, and it was not a happy marriage. Aphrodite degraded her husband and cheated on him wantonly. So Hephaestus rigged a net that trapped her and Ares while they were copulating, so that the other deities could stare at them and mock them.
Freaking gods. Always with the drama.
Yes, quite dramatic. Even if you forget that they are married to their own siblings.
Hi 5
“I am the Dr. Seuss of sex”
You, sir, are awesome. Thank you for coming out of your good Catholic shell for a minute, there, to set us all right on the subject.
Looked at my Google Reader with trepidation today thinking that if I read one more thing about Chick Fil-A I would scream! But I found this! This was hilarious…and informative. As a gay man I have never gotten such a kick out of reading the word “pussy”. Thank you for making my day.
William J. Peace, You fucking RULE!
That must be pretty awkward alright :(. Thanks for sharing though.
Amazing piece. Thanks so much for sharing this.