This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of New York Life for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.
Joanna Schroeder looks back on how her husband—who as she says was “born to be a dad”—allowed her the space to be present with her children and celebrate the good.
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Everyone has a vision of the kind of parent they’ll become. Unlike a lot of the stuff you’ll read online by moms, I went into motherhood expecting to go back to work after a three month maternity leave, to bottlefeed my son, and to carry my kids around in a fancy stroller. We had a perfectly-styled nursery for our new baby boy, and we never planned on having him in our room. Nope, not for a single night!
And then that adorable baby boy was born and everything changed. The first few months should’ve been the first indication that I wasn’t ever going to live up to my own parenting standards, but for some reason I tried to hold on, digging into fulfilling my expectations. But my husband, Ivan, who was born to be an amazing father, helped me learn how to do things differently.
Some things we did better than we expected. My husband was able to take some time off work and supported my last-minute (frustrating) efforts to breastfeed by doing all the diaper changes at night so I could sleep. He was also the one who led the way with the Baby Bjorn, and we found that our son loved to be worn next to his daddy’s chest and slept best in close proximity to us.
This, of course, led to our son sleeping in our bed. He barely touched his beautiful crib in his beautiful, immaculate room. Just like he barely touched that fancy stroller. Nope, this kid was the kind of baby who liked to be close to his family. My husband was all for it, leading the way in adjusting our plan. My husband’s natural gift in life is being easy-going. He is a kind, generous guy who goes with the flow, and that is one of the main qualities that makes him the best dad I can imagine.
I’m reminded of another dad who was willing to go with the flow, and changed his family’s life forever. In the video above, John, who comes from a very traditional family and fits every mold of a traditional guy, chose to do something very non-traditional when he decided to stay home and raise his children as an at-home dad. The video Stay-at-Home Super Dad is a beautiful devotion to a father who has helped pave the way for many other stay-at-home dads, who are loving their role as primary parent, and helping grow strong and happy families with their choices.
It’s taken me years to learn the skill of being easy-going that comes so naturally to Ivan. I’m very Type-A, and I’m still learning how to let things unfold without trying to control them. In fact, I have to practice it, and sometimes I fail. I like to have a plan and a schedule. But kids aren’t like that. Yes, they definitely thrive in a home where there is structure and consistency – and I’m very good at giving them that – but they also need time to just be wild maniacs, to make a mess, to get dirty and be crazy. And I’m so grateful my husband has taught me how to embrace that.
This has been especially important since the arrival of our youngest, who is a silly, passionate, whirling dervish who is an amazing dancer, elaborate storyteller and master of imaginative play. He won’t be content to build puzzles for hours like his brother was. No, he likes to take every toy out of every cabinet and play with each and every one. He sets up elaborate scenes with ships and pirates and soldiers and animals and every other little figure he can find. Then he plays the role of King Kong and knocks everything down.
One night, after putting my kids to bed on a frenzied end-of-the-school-year day, I stood in the doorway of their room and for just a moment really saw them. I have been working to learn the lesson of being present in the moment, and appreciating the ages they’re at, not looking ahead to the next stage. And for the first time I really saw how all the messes come together to make up a childhood. Every pile of stuff is a symbol of who they are, and where they are in life. Soon they will be different, grown-up, and will have no need for all these toys that are underfoot. All those building blocks, the picture books and comic books, the weird looking little monster toys will be replaced with the stuff teenage boys like soon enough, and I will long for those days of minifigures and trading cards.
They are these wonderful, free children because their creativity and natural wildness was embraced by their father, and I’m grateful that I’m able to learn that lesson from my husband. Their childhood is richer because their dad created the space for them to be little boys, and I think my life as a mom is happier as a result.
Right now, New York Life is doing the coolest thing to celebrate dads. Their “Celebrating Good” campaign features a ticker that is counting all of the times people mention the great stuff their dads have done – or are doing. It’s an astounding thing to witness, all the beauty and love from and to dads this Father’s Day. I’m going to join in by tweeting not just my appreciation for my own dad, who is also a fun and silly guy, but for my husband too, who is an amazing father raising two awesome boys.
So how about you? What lessons have you learned from your dad or the dads in your life? Have you ever made a choice that has changed the direction of your family? Please share in comments below, and add to the fatherly love over at New York Life’s Celebrating Good board. Learn more about how New York Life can help you and your family Keep Good Going here.