‘How I envy his time with that child of mine’
—
There are too many men
raising up children
that belong to other men.
Adoption is one thing,
a court ruling is another.
It takes a child away
from his birth father.
Sometimes the daddy
of the mommy
will have the little baby
more often than the daddy.
Wednesdays and weekends
are not enough to see him,
not enough to know him,
not enough to show him
the meaning of his kin.
Or the child’s step-father
will have the step-daughter
more often than he ought to.
While the natural-born Dad
grows bitter and mad
that the little girl he had
is living with that man.
And then, there’s the ‘other.’
You know, Mom’s new lover.
How I envy his time
with that child of mine.
I want all you guys
to tell your wives
and the women in your lives
what may be a surprise:
There are too many men
raising up children
that belong to other men.
Give the kids a break.
Don’t hesitate.
Give some time to Daddy
before it’s too late.
A child without a father
is like an otter without water.
To reach their full potential
and self-actualize,
kids need their daddy
and not some nearby guys.
The growth that comes
between a father and a son
is a two-way street;
It makes a life complete.
No one can love a daughter
like a birth father.
It can do no harm
to promote that bond.
There are too many men
raising up children
that belong to other men.
As a general rule
kids are at school
more often than
they’re in Dad’s hands.
Television by the hour
have the children in its power.
Or a drug is the drug of choice
rather than a father’s voice.
The streets will soon become
full of teen-aged boys with guns.
And teen-aged girls with babies
will wonder who are their kid’s daddies.
It takes more than
courage to raise good men.
How’s a girl supposed to know
if a boy is good enough
to be a father to her child
unless she had one while
she was growing up.
A good dad has values
that a boy can choose.
A bad role model
is difficult to follow.
A boy may holler,
“I don’t want to be like you!”
Either way,
they can have their say.
But what kind of influence
lies in father-absence?
When father-figures and nearby guys
are all they’ve known all their lives,
is the consistency constantly there?
Do the kids know who really cares?
A Daddy does!
Not a seed supplier.
A Daddy does!
Not a pay provider.
There are too many men
raising up children
that belong to other men.
A boy may see his teacher,
a scout leader, or a preacher,
more often than he can see
his father’s family.
This is not right!
This is unjust!
Maybe okay for some
but not the rest of us.
I want all boyfriends
to tell all girlfriends,
and all second husbands
to tell all women:
There are too many men
raising up children
that belong to other men.
Some women cause such alienation
that America is becoming
a father-less nation.
These women will deny
that there are fathers that cry
for their children and they, for him.
These women may wish
they need a man like a fish
needs a bicycle.
They don’t realize
the men they criticize
to their children, are essential.
They see nothing bad
for a child without a dad.
If Mom’s boyfriend at the time
is child-friendly, well, that’s fine.
But they have yet to discover
what the future will uncover:
There are too many men
raising up children
that belong to other men.
This poem is ©, written from the heart by Don Mathis.
Previously published at
In Search of Fatherhood (R) and
Gescheiden Ouders Dienstbetoon door Informatie (Divorced Parents Service by Information, a group in the Netherlands)
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