Andrew Smiler wonders why changes in gender roles have had a minimal impact on dating.
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Gender roles have changed dramatically over the last forty years or so. In 1970, men outnumbered women on college campuses two to one; today, women outnumber men by a several percentage points. Women have moved into a variety of jobs that weren’t open to them. They’re members of every branch of the US Military and can now participate in combat. They serve in high political office, holding a record 20 seats in the US Senate; Secretaries of State Albright, Rice, and Clinton, were 4th in line to the presidency (after the Vice-President and President Pro Tempore of the Senate).
Men’s roles have also changed. In 1970, about 2% of households were headed by a single-parent father; today, it’s about 8%. That’s coupled with a shift from dad as provider-disciplinarian to dad as someone who is involved and emotionally present for his children. The younger generations are also doing more housework than their fathers did, although parity has yet to be achieved. And fewer men than ever are working in “traditional” male jobs like manufacturing, especially after the recent “mancession.”
So with all this change, what’s happened to dating? Although it’s fashionable to talk about “hookup culture” and lament the end of dating, the research is clear that dating is still very common and that only a minority of teens and young adults participate in hookup culture.
A recently released study by Ana L. Jaramillo-Sierra and Katherine R. Allen from Virginia Tech, looked at one piece of dating: who pays. The article, will be published in the academic journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity.
Working with a few colleagues, and under the supervision of the Institutional Review Board (IRB), they offered students taking Human Sexuality courses extra credit for writing a one page essays in response to the question “how do you decide who pays for things such as movies, gas, dates, meals, trips, condoms/other contraceptives, and so forth, in a dating relationship?” The directions also asked how the length of relationship (e.g., first dates vs. long term), type of expense, and other issues effect the decision. There were other essay options for obtaining extra credit; thirty four young men aged 18 to 25 answered this question. All of the guys wrote about their experiences dating women, so I will too. The authors make no claims about how these issues might related to same-sex couples.
The study demonstrates that equality hasn’t reached the dating realm yet; at least, not when it comes to paying. To be sure, progress is being made. About half of the young men who answered this question said the couple should split costs more-or-less equally. Of course, this also means that half the young men believe they should be picking up most, if not all, of the costs.
Among the guys who thought she should pick up the check, several thought expenses should be split fifty-fifty. But several modern gentlemen expected to pay more than their girlfriends, even though they thought she should pick up the check regularly. Neither the guys nor the authors put a number on it, but I suspect these modern gentlemen would be comfortable paying sixty to seventy-five percent of the costs.
But equality also took another hit. Every guy in the study said that it was the dude’s responsibility to pay all costs for the first few dates. It didn’t matter what they expected for an established couple that recognized themselves as boyfriend-girlfriend, every guy said it was his job to foot the bill while “courting.” (I note that “all” is from the 29 guys who talked about differences between the initial stage and later stages; the other 5 guys only talked about established couples.)
The guys gave several reasons for paying for those first dates:
- To impress the girl
- To demonstrate they care (because one way to show caring is to provide for another person)
- To act like a gentleman
- To conform to social expectations
I have no problem with the first three of these, and I think they’d all work just fine in the other direction. The girl could pay in order to impress the guy, show him she cares, and still be a lady. It’s the last one that bothers me. Despite all the other changes in gender roles over the last forty years, why do we still expect the guy to pay for the first date?
We’ve seen greater public acknowledgement of women’s sexual desires, including the whole media frenzy over “cougars.” Similarly, most boys and men now understand that sex should be mutually pleasing and not just focused on his orgasm.
Yet we seem to have missed the equality puzzle piece that says girls and women can and should pay for first dates. Nor have we really said that girls can and should initiate first dates instead of just indicating that they’re interested and waiting for the guy to ask. We need to move from “Call Me Maybe” to “I’d like to take you on a date.”
Maybe that’s why we hear whispered horror stories about teenage girls throwing themselves—or at least their bodies—at teenage boys. Nobody has really talked to them about how to start a relationship or challenge the notion that “guys just want sex,” so they rely on gender stereotypes.
Then again, asking someone on a first date is one of the scariest things a teenage boy or young man can do. The risk of hearing “no” is huge: it means that you’re not good enough, not desirable enough. It’s a very different rejection than when trying out for a team, applying for a job, or the like. In those settings, a guy might not be the most skilled, might have a bad day, etc. and thus it’s easier to accept the no. When it comes to dating, that no is necessarily a rejection of the guy; it is explicitly about him. Given our general concern about girls’ self-esteem, maybe that’s why we haven’t pushed them to start asking boys out.
Of course, we’ll also need to teach boys what to do when a girl asks them out or insists on paying for those first dates. We all need to understand that it doesn’t mean she’s sexually aggressive, easy, or a slut, but rather that she’s just expressing her interest, trying to impress him, and perhaps trying to show that she cares. Boys and men will also need to understand that being asked out—and saying yes—doesn’t somehow threaten their masculinity or make them “whipped.”
Equality between men and women isn’t just about elevating women by increasing their access to education and professions or reducing the amount of unpaid housework and childcare they do. Creating a more equal society means that women will need to give up their privileged position as guests (vs. payers) in first dates (and later in the relationship) and will need to share decision making about their special day.
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This post is republished on Medium.
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Whores need to be paid for in order to “feel” “valuable” Free sex is the only not whore. Just think about it…how much do you have to do to get laid? The more you do, the higher the cost. Spending time is a cost even if it isn’t directly on your sexual interest. If she wants “a man” with “a good job” the time spent getting the job and being in it is a cost for him to bare in order to access vagina. It doesn’t matter if he would have the job if vagina didn’t exist. It only matters… Read more »
I think what this article fails to mention – and what many fail to see is how sexism is pervasive in the way we see women and men. the Men’s Rights Activist groups talk about how women are valued for their beauty and it is their defining factor. Dating is this way still – men see a desirable woman and pay for her – that is how our society was built. Of course I don’t agree with this, but sexism works like this – why do women have to wax, shave, do their nails, do their hair, buy expensive makeup,… Read more »
If men could get sex for free, they would opt for that much of the time.
Everyone wants sex with someone they think is good looking. Its why there are so many good looking people who are more successful than everyone else who is similar but not good looking.
If I invite, I pay. If he invites, he pays. Exceptions exist of course, but that’s my general rule. I also split the bill on occassion.
Rest assured, you both are proving you have money by spending it in each other’s presence…pay dating sites serve the same purpose. You know he at least has enough money to get on the dating site. 😉
If a ask a man out I expect to pay. If he asks he pays. If we go on more dates I expect us to split, you would be surprised at how many men have issues with that but I don’t want to be accused of using a a man for money. And yes It would be awesome if men would ever consider tbat they benefit from women paying all expenses for birth control.
20 years ago, when I was dating, I gave the issue of who pays a great deal of thought. It seemed unfair for the man to bear all the burden of the expense. If I was dating someone, after a few dates I would offer ways that I could participate such as making him dinner or a picnic or buying tickets to an event we both wanted to see. When there are great income differences in a couple, that can be a factor, but it should be both people participating in a way that both agree is fair. On the… Read more »
But its totally fair to exclude him if he cant afford the date for him self….I mean, jeese. How could he have a chance of adding value to the relationship if he can’t pay for his own date?
My guide has always been, whomever asks for the date pays. That being said, if someone is taking me out to dinner, I will always pay for the valet, movie tickets, the drinks while we wait for our table, etc.
But I agree with Chanelle above. We pay for the birth control (last boyfriend swore he’d chip in and I never saw it – probably why he’s an ex) and we get paid 80 cents on the dollar for doing the same work. So I stick to my, whomever asks, pays.
Just so happens that most women expect most men to ask.
Coincidence?
Equality/Women’s Lib/Feminism is killing chivalry. Men should pay for dinner, especially in long-term relationships, and decent, chivalrous, GENTLEMEN do! With short-term flings/hook-ups it doesn’t really matter who pays and I guess the type of women who are into this – and they attract a similar type of man – will be willing to pay their share of the dinner bill (and if she doesn’t she’s just a parasite and a free-loader, or perhaps she’s paying for dinner with sex, which would make him a smart man and her a dumb woman (unless she’s already showing signs of scurvy and protein-deficiency).… Read more »
“I am not grateful for what the Women’s Lib Movement has done for me because they have done nothing for me.”
You don’t vote, then? Thank God!
Maybe she should show us the proper way a man should behave
Lorenda, you are one powerful, insightful, wise woman.
Apparently, you have become crystal clear on the true power and necessary balance that authentic femininity creates. Bravo! Men can grow and evolve in the presence of women like you!
I’m meeting many women like you and it’s a joy.
http://goodguys2greatmen.com/goodguys/unlock-secrets-feminine-power/
Men are slaves to vagina.
Marriage is a really expensive prostitute.
Lorenda, since you can own property, drive a car, vote, sign a legal document, take birth control, get custody of children in a divorce etc etc “Women’s Lib” has done a lot for you. You do a huge disservice to women who came before, some of whom died for these rights you don’t even think about.
I’ve heard that men tend to fundamentally desire a challenge and to be protective; whereas women tend to desire being pursued and to be provided for. This makes evolutionary sense as a woman needs a mate dedicated to her and strong enough to protect her and her children from predators. Thus on some fundamental level the “man asking a woman out and paying for the bill” fulfills this desire. Since we are only a nano-second away in evolutionary terms from our hunter-gather ancestors, this desire is not going to be eradicated in the population. Other issues you raised, like women… Read more »
Women being unable to protect and provide for themselves and their children is social convention, not an evolutionary mandate. Stone Age women didn’t just sit around the fire, busily lactating. Hunter-gatherers get about 70% of their calories from gathering, and historically the rest comes primarily from small game and communal hunts.
I think this article overlooked a social expectation that has nothing to do with gender: The one who asks/invites, is the one who pays. I invite someone for coffee or dinner or whatever, and it will be my treat. If (s)he invites me, I expect him/her to pay. So I think it’s because men usually ask women out on dates, it’s logical that men usually pay. Now we could discuss why men usually are the ones asking. But that’s another story. It simply emphasizes there is more to conforming to social expectations, than the article implies. Another overlooked courtesy; Paying… Read more »
I don’t think guys should HAVE to pay, but I do think it’s a very nice gesture and I would be unhappy if it wasn’t done on the first date. Honestly, splitting things 60-40 or 70-30 sounds okay to me. Are men paying for women’s birth control pills that she has to buy exactly every 28 days? What about the annual pap smears she needs because she’s sexually active with him? I doubt it. Women typically put a lot more effort/money (I know I’m stereotyping here) into getting ready for dates than men do – clothes, hair straighteners, perfume, makeup.… Read more »
I’ve never gone on a casual date assuming the guy would pay for me, actually- the only times I’ve made this assumption have been with my partner, and that’s because we share our finances- he simply tends to keep more cash on hand, but we share everything, and at times when I have more cash, I pay for him. I’ve never understood why it seems normal to some people for the man to pay for everything unless he’s specifically invited the woman to do something she cannot afford to do, and they’re both aware of this. Otherwise it seems like… Read more »
I’ve heard enough women complain about cheap Sierra-Club type gearhead yuppies to have ever in my life contemplated asking her to pay any portion. Even if I knew the woman just planned on having me because I was “hot,” I’ve always paid. I’ve always done a call or email the next day, though, too.
Hank, PLEASE ALLOW ME TO CLONE YOU!!!
Why do more men not think like you????
I’ve paid for things before, mainly when its been my idea to go somewhere.
Othertimes I wanted to go on date and girl was broke and she refused until she got paid, which just annoyed me lol.
I don’t really care who pays, I’ve had girls pay for me too.
I’m a woman, and i always insisted on paying atleast 40-50% of the time whenever I was with a guy – whether it was a date or a business meeting. What I found was that while I was coming from a place of pride & honor – a.k.a – “I earn well, I should contribute to this lunch / date.” – over a period of time the guys would begin to act like the “child” in the relationship… they’d either throw more tantrums for no sound reason, they would get crabby & disrespectful and they’d even begin to “expect a… Read more »
“But equality also took another hit. Every guy in the study said that it was the dude’s responsibility to pay all costs for the first few dates. It didn’t matter what they expected for an established couple that recognized themselves as boyfriend-girlfriend, every guy said it was his job to foot the bill while “courting.” ”
From which I infer- there aren’t many 2nd dates for guys who don’t pony up on the first.
“I’m not really this tall, I’m just sitting on my wallet”- maybe my all time favorite Playboy cartoon.
I think if your’e going to write an article about gender roles it would be nice to refer to women as women instead of girls.
A muslim friend of mine had a conundrum. He couldn’t accept interest, but didn’t feel that he should provide his money for free to a bank, which is going to use it to generate profit. He finally decided to take the interest and give it to the poor. That way businessmen wouldn’t make money for free and he wouldn’t be profiting from usery. If women really feel that they want to pay, but don’t feel comfortable speaking up on a date, why not pay for a meal for someone else? Their are lots of food pantries that could use donations.… Read more »
I’m all for charity, but not out of obligation to a third party. We shouldn’t need an excuse to feed the poor. Also, I fail to see how that “stands up for feminism.” Paying for dates shouldn’t be viewed as a sacrifice, but a gift, no matter which party picks up the tab.
I hear Billy Joel’s “Always a Woman,” in my head as I write this. I am trying to restrain myself from questioning the manhood of any respondents who share the author’s view that paying for a couple of dates by the man qualifies as inequality. I will say one thing to that notion, if all of the men who feel so strongly that splitting dating costs is appropriate due to equality, I challenge you to campaign equally hard for equal pay for women. Men make on average 22% more for the same job that women do, and if for no… Read more »
Bob, I am pretty sure I love you.
Your wife is incredibly lucky to have you.
I hope men of the next generation can be something like you- appreciative of women, understanding and open minded. Because I feel like this generation is going to the darn pits.
Women are paying for dates, asking men out
And men are calling women names, and expecting porn stars for girlfriends and wives.
Its madness.
I always split bills on early dates. Some men were ok with it, others not so much so (they wanted to pay). Now in a relationship with one “pot” we take turns paying for things to “treat” the other and it is pretty even who pays for what even if it comes out of the same pot. It just feels nice to get something for J or for him to get something for me.
I don’t believe that generalizing about “women” and “men” is a productive way to approach this conversation. Each woman and man on this earth is going to have different perspectives or preferences in regards to dating, to which each woman and man on this earth is equally entitled. I believe that to criticize or harp on anyone for their dating preferences or perspectives is another way of saying “my way of thinking is better,” which is to judge someone. I don’t believe that judging anyone is any better than gender-role stereotyping anyone; they are both mistakes that ALL human beings… Read more »
There are surveys that show the majority of women still think men should pay on dates.
Those surveys are misogynistic.
Women are powerless and they cannot even “desire” to change the status quo, let alone change it.
Sometimes, the misogynistic part of my brain suspects that maybe women like this status quo in dating more than men.
what’s misogynistic is thinking that women are too addle-brained by their patriarchy programming to be able to change, to desire to change, to want to make the world fair, even if it might cost them a perk.
Frankly, I like to think women are better than that.
Whether any of us like it or not, dating is always a test of sorts. Some people strip away any nuance and talk about dating as a job interview or audition, and I wouldn’t want to participate in that. Still, it is a way to get to know someone, and that’s a matter of “testing” a person’s behavior against what you expect or hope to see. Obviously, this happens before the date begins. If I was to date again, I’d discuss paying with a potential date. I couldn’t imagine approaching a stranger for a date, so I’d be talking with… Read more »
Adrian
A big problem is that disingenuous, hypocritical women like Carla are not easily identifiable. The internet allows people anonymity and a woman can talk about her dating strategies, how she compartmentalizes men easily.
In real life a lot of women do exactly what Carla does without even giving a thought, without even being consciously aware about their prejudice. Many men end up dating and having relationships with such women.
Seems to have been confirmed by Ninakuar.
Women like Heather and Megan feel the need to demonize men and attribute a sinister and selfish reason to why they insist on paying for dates (their need to have CONTROL) The real reason why men feel the need to pay on dates; why they feel there is an unwritten rule that a man must pay; and why they insist on paying even when the handful of women in this society offer to pay or split the bill is because men are ingrained with the belief that women don’t find them as naturally, physically and sexually attractive as they find… Read more »
Excuse me? Where exactly have I “demonized” men? I haven’t attributed any motives to guys’ insistence on paying, I’ve merely pointed out the fact that it happens. If you think that’s demonization, you really need to have your head examined, maybe get some meds to keep the paranoia in line.
“Women like Heather and Megan feel the need to demonize men and attribute a sinister and selfish reason to why they insist on paying for dates (their need to have CONTROL)” This, in my opinion, is harsh and uncalled for. I’ve seen Megan and Heather express some pretty strong opinions, but I haven’t seen any outright demonize men at all in this thread, or even in general. I would say that I feel that some of their opinions come from the perspective of being a woman looking on the experiences from men on the outside and such may jump to… Read more »
“The real reason why men feel the need to pay on dates; why they feel there is an unwritten rule that a man must pay; and why they insist on paying even when the handful of women in this society offer to pay or split the bill is because men are ingrained with the belief that women don’t find them as naturally, physically and sexually attractive as they find women.” It’s even simpler than that. Men are valued by society for what they can provide, their utility often defined in financial terms. Women are part of society so they value… Read more »
You are spot on John. We live in a society that allows women all the options and limits the options for men. Today if a wife in a marriage without kids decides to be a home maker, she has it as a “choice” but if the man in that marriage wants to stay home, he’s a lazy bum.
“I am women, hear me roar” but honey, make sure you pay the bill and leave a good tip, ok? So glad I’m an old married guy. No way I could handle the dating scene these days.
Tim I like that you gave us ladies something to think about when you said : “The real reason why men feel the need to pay on dates; why they feel there is an unwritten rule that a man must pay; and why they insist on paying even when the handful of women in this society offer to pay or split the bill is because men are ingrained with the belief that women don’t find them as naturally, physically and sexually attractive as they find women. Men feel that women don’t desire them as much as they desire women and… Read more »
I think, whether I split the bill or not, depends on what I want from dating.
If I’m sizing a man up for a LTR then I expect him to pay and demonstrate how serious he is about me.
However if its just a fling then I just require the guy to be hot…someone I’m sexually enthusiastic about and always split the bill.
I think, whether I split the bill or not, depends on what I want from dating.
If I’m sizing a man up for a LTR then I expect him to pay and demonstrate how serious he is about me.
However if its just a fling then I just require the guy to be hot…someone I am sexually nthusisasitc about and always split the bill.
And there we have it. Tell me Carla, if a man fits the first group in your eyes and he insists on splitting the bill, does he stay in that group or is it turn-off for you?
I don’t think I owe an explanation to you. I look after my interests in dating, I’m sure the men I date are doing the same.
@Jax…
Re Carla’s reply.
You have been dismissed!
Nah, I got my answer, methinks.
That is a pathetic reply to your assertion of how you act.
Whoa, where did that come from? I am actually interested in the answer to that question. It is a valid inquire to a declaration you made. That response was totally unnecessary and snarky. Jax you are correct. That comment told you all you need to know about her. Personally, as a woman, I pay for dates all the time. However, my initial interest in them will determine wether or not I would pay for the first date.
Interesting how you compartmentalize men.
I don’t think that any self respecting man would want to be in the former category of yours. Just letting you know of a man’s perspective. I’d like to hear from more men how they feel about this though.
Not sure if I’d want to be in either category. Used for sex or used for money. I would think that if I were used for sex at least she’d pay the entire bill.
I typically go for a hit-and-quit approach until I can decide further. In her case, I don’t even put her # in my phone.
Normally, I don’t find paying to be such a big deal; if I go out with my little brother, I pay too. But if I get a whiff that it is somehow expected of me, I’ll likely lose interest in my date. At the other end of the scale, it also annoys me when I am about to pay and my date makes a big fuss about it; it makes me feel like she somehow wants to avoid feelings of reciprocation (as if). I guess I can some it up as: don’t be weird about money. If I offer to… Read more »
On another note, I cannot believe I just wrote “some it up as”; my brain is fried today.
I don’t understand why she is getting so much hate. She wants a different type of guy for flings and a different type for relationships. What is so un-understandable and offensive about it? Many women can, to varying degrees, identify with her in that they do seem to gravitate towards different types of men for flings and for LTR’s respectively. Carla is simply being honest about what usually goes without saying for most women. I would also add that the terms of dating and the sexual boundaries are different for each man. With some men, a woman might feel attracted… Read more »
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Calling it “hate” is disingenuous, I think. I merely asked her to clarify what would happen to her attraction if a man didn’t play by her rules. She decided to get defensive about it. But that, in a nutshell, is the point. Whether a bill is split or paid entirely by the man is a decision, when one gets down to it, made entirely by the woman. I have heard plenty of women who have said. “I don’t mind splitting the bill, but he should at least offer first, otherwise he looks cheap.” “I’ve split the bill, but I never… Read more »
It doesnt matter if 80% of women have the mindset you talk about. All the men should pursue the other 20%.
Good advice, now go convince that “80%” to wear a sign round their necks advising everybody of that fact.
I just think it’s interesting that I was vilified by another commenter earlier for saying more or less the same thing, just from a male perspective. I think the main reason most guys get upset about this sort of thing is because it’s the exact opposite of what they are told growing up. Even though they see women largely gravitating towards “bad boys” — motorcycle-riding, leather-jacket-wearing, former jocks, etc. — they are constantly bombarded with the message that young women are “just going through a phase” that they would come out of soon enough. To hear in your 30s and… Read more »
@DD… “Personally, I turned in my good man card long ago, and have been reaping the benefits ever since. But I definitely understand where these guys are coming from, and why Carla’s statements are so disconcerting to them.” Carla is like about 70%-80% of women in America. It’s just that their logic appear twisted and skewed. They have hardly any requirements for the fling guy whom they are about to give their bodies too. He can fuck her senseless and get all the pussy he wants and when he wants it. She never has headaches for him. Yet, somehow Mr.… Read more »
I don’t think I expressed hate. Just responding to the question of how I would feel if I was in either category. The reasoning is somewhat along the lines of if we were only interested in each other for sex, there would be no need to go on a date. We could just hook up. The thinking is I must be interested in her in a LTR. If she was ONLY interested in sex and there’s nothing wrong with that, I’d expect her to pick up the entire check. As far as being in the LTR category, let’s look at… Read more »
I don’t know that it’s code for “wealthy,” but it’s absolutely a double standard. As you say, what does a man get to demand as demonstration that his date is “serious” about him? I’m betting Carla’s answer would be “nothing,” maybe with a charge of sexism attached.
Although I don’t think it’s much better when you say she should pick up the tab if she just wants sex. That has the same unseemly aroma of prostitution and sexual entitlement as it would were the genders reversed. Paying for dinner does not mean you “deserve” to get laid.
I don’t have a problem with prostitution in theory. If you have consenting adults, I don’t see why money exchanging hands to achieve the consent invalidates it. The thing that concerns me in practice is coerced consent. If a person has to work 80 hours to make ends meet and resorts to prostitution because they can make the same money in 10 hours, is that coercive enough to negate consent? What standard of living (if any) above subsistence must a person make before it would not be considered coercive? If a person (truly) freely engages in prostitution, I have no… Read more »
Can we NOT get totally sidetracked just because I used the word ‘prostitution?’ This has nothing to do with the dynamic of picking up a tab on a date.
So? Men have been doing this for a looooong time. They have ‘women they wife’ and ‘women they pump and dump’. I’m in a male dominated career and have many guy friends and I get to hear allll the time about how they ONLY split the check with women they want to sleep with, or women they don’t see a future with because they don’t want to put any sort of effort or money towards her. In my dating experiences, this has been true nearly 100% of the time. If a guy offers to pay for the date, there’s a… Read more »
THANK YOU DYLAN!!!
I am so done with women accepting this “split the bill” crap and men complaining about this “all women want bad boys” crap.
NO! Men pay if they want her, he would have NO problem with it.
And no! GIRLS want bad boys, WOMEN want good men. If you REALLY wanted a woman, you would see that. What these males want is a bad girl who looks like a porn star and gets upset that she may not want him back
Ladies and gentlemen of the manosphere, here is the Anti-NAWALT.
I think this comment explains why I’m single. And glad to be lol.
I’ve thought about this issue too. I wonder if it’s because men can feel under continual pressure to prove their manhood. And that’s because of gender ranking: ranking men above women in a patriarchal society. So men constantly need to prove that they deserve that “high” place. (Women needn’t prove their social inferiority.) So, in taking on a manly leadership role of paying for the date, he can feel more confident in his manhood. Yes, there’s a sacrifice. But it’s worth it to secure one’s precarious manhood. I would love to get rid of a system that ranks men above… Read more »
Its because there is a huge uncertainty in dating and you never know why a person rejected you. I was on a fantastic date where we split the bill. The girl later ended things. My Mom always tells me it was because I didn’t pay. I am pretty sure she is wrong but I will never know for sure. I do know one thing though…if that is indeed the reason she ended things then I don’t want to be with her.
Yes, (sarcasm) because it’s always because it’s always that men feel as though they are better or superior to women. (end sarcasm) When are people going to realize we don’t rank men above women, rather society has a trapped in a ‘man box’ and a ‘women box.’ The men aren’t competing with the woman on a date, they are competing with OTHER MEN. They are trying to make sure they rank higher on the social totem pole than the other men in the room and so they perform their gender based on what has been drilled into their heads will… Read more »
I agree Krupp I think its cultural. I have never ever met in my entire a man who believes to be superior to women. Ever. I dont say they exist, but just they are very rare. The most common meme I have stumbled around on the net, is the opposite. Some guys feel women are superior to men. But beside memes and superstitions witch are created more from ignorance and wrong inputs takes time to unlearn. And it doesent help that women use all the subterfuges and tests on guys. Be straightforward say what you want. But please dont forget… Read more »