One mom is confident in the decision not to circumcise her son despite the AAP’s endorsement.
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By Amber Doty for YourTango
Before I gave birth to our first child 6 years ago, my husband and I discussed parenting our son and the manner in how he would be raised at length. Lying in bed at night my husband would run his hands over the curve of my belly while we talked quietly about everything from the name he would be given to whether he would attend public or private schools. We agreed that our son would be vaccinated, that he would not be baptized, and that motherhood would not be the end of my career.
One question we did not answer until a nurse posed it in the hours after delivery, my newborn baby boy nestled snugly in the bend of my arm, was whether or not our son would be circumcised.
“I think I agree with you about the circumcision, but aren’t you worried he might be embarrassed in the locker room if he’s different from his friends?” I asked. While the circumcision debate in the parenting community has become as hot-button as those about breastfeeding, co-sleeping and the like, my initial objection wasn’t rooted in the ethical nature of the procedure so much as a concern for my son’s future comfort in his own skin.
It was a question that sparked an hour-long debate between the two of us on the pros and cons of possessing a foreskin.
My husband (who, for the record, is intact) strongly disagreed with the belief that being circumcised was cleaner or would lower our son’s risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. I agreed that opting for a surgical procedure in place of a future discussion on soap and water and the proper use of condoms seemed outrageous. As for whether our son would feel ashamed by our decision to leave him uncut, a little research shows that the percentage of parents opting for circumcision is on the decline, meaning he likely won’t be the only intact kid in his peer group.
In the end, we agreed that the risks of modifying our newborn’s body outweighed the perceived benefits, a position with which the American Academy of Pediatrics now disagrees with. New studies, some of which were conducted in Africa, suggest that circumcision reduces the risk that heterosexual men will contract H.I.V.
As a result, the academy recommends that the procedure be covered by insurers, but stops short of endorsing it as medically necessary. A member of the academy and author of the policy, Dr. Douglas S. Diekema, describes the stance as “pro-choice not pro-circumcision.” The last public position the AAP took on circumcision, in 1999, was to state there was insufficient medical evidence to support or negate the claim that the procedure’s benefits outweigh its risks.
Despite this new research, my husband and I remain confident in our decision to forgo the snipping.
Irreversibly altering a part of our son’s body without his consent based on the mercurial opinion of experts was the wrong choice for our family.
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Myself and all my brothers born in the South East Asia country, where there were no practice of circumcise. My two grown up son were born in California 25 years ago, refused circumcise when asked by the foolish doctor. We all have perfect health and great sex life. Altc
I chose to have my son circumsized because I thought it would reduce the risk of him getting uti , std’s, and I wouldn’t have to teach him how to wash his wee. If a mother chooses to have their kids thing cut, why put them down for doing what they think will benefit their child. Isn’t that what the mothers of uncut children feel about their choice?
Do you respect the choices of dads who want to get their daughers circumcised, Roxanne? Or is that “different”?
You speak as if we live in some magical fantasy world where antibiotics, condoms and soap don’t exist.
Its not about putting them down. Its about questioning their choices.
Are you saying that we should be okay with violating the bodily autonomy of baby boys just because their mothers think its the right thing to do? Choosing the circumcise should be above reproach because the mom though that was the best option?
I had my kids teeth removed because I didn’t want them to get cavities and I didn’t want to teach them how to brush properly. I had their ears removed because I didn’t want them to possibly get infected and I’m too lazy to show them how to properly use a q-tip. I had my daughters inner and outer labia removed because that’s far more daunting to clean than my son’s intact penis, she’s more likely to get a UTI, and she harbors more bacteria there and I didn’t want to show her how to shower. I also had her… Read more »
I opted NOT to cut my son. not for any moral religious reasons because I could not think of one reason why I would ever let someone torture my newborn and cut a part of his body off. I actually gave it no thought at all and just didn’t do it. It’s the right thing to choose not to cut in my opinion.
Here’s a fact we can all agree on: a very tiny, tiny percentage of uncut men choose to get circumcised as adults. Virtually no one would ever consent to having his foreskin removed. The only way to ensure it happens is to do it to babies who can’t resist. If you pinned down an adult male and cut off his foreskin without his consent, that would be aggravated assault.
We do it to babies because doing it to an adult against his will would be a serious crime. So what does that tell you?
That’s overly simplistic, I think. Other reasons I am aware of include: their regenerative healing is better, and they generally don’t remember the experience. Cutting isn’t the only way circumcision is done; I was told modern procedures just constrict the foreskin, until it falls off from lack of blood flow. I was circumcised. I don’t remember any of it. I remember other details of my first day: a colorful blur that gradually came into focus, and the struggle to breathe with lungs coming into use. (You needn’t believe me, but my parents do– they tease me regularly about all sorts… Read more »
Good for him!
I commend your decision. I just wish we didn’t live in a society where you have to explain your reasons for NOT genitally mutilating an infant.
Hopefully, one day this should not require some sort of positive choice, like you have to resist the pressure to circumcise. “Intact” should be the default setting, and people who decide to circumcise should be the ones who have to explain themselves. If they actually get the option to circumcise, which I’m not sure they do.