Charitable donations should be given willingly, not under social duress after being “called out.”
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Yesterday morning, as I perused my Facebook feed, I came across a video posted by a friend. She stood before a pond in her bikini. Her first words were, “Okay, so I’ve been challenged with this stupid Cold Water Challenge. Thanks ______ (sarcasm included).” She goes on to say, “I had the choice to either donate $100 to _______’s charity or $10 to mine, so I chose to donate $10 to _________.”
Anyone else feel this is the wrong way to go about giving?
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The Cold Water Challenge (aka 24 Hour Cold Water Challenge) rules are simple.
- Call out someone publicly via social media or video.
- The challengee can choose to willingly jump into a cold body of water or have cold water poured on them. If this choice is made, he/she donates a selected amount to a charity of his/her choice.
- If the challengee chooses to bypass the cold water plunge, he/she must donate a predetermined amount to the challenger’s charity.
- The challengee calls out the next individual and the process continues. Usually this entire process “must” occur within 24-hours.
If anyone has it in mind to challenge me in this way, don’t bother. I will never accept The Cold Water Challenge.
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I want to (and do) give charitably out of love, affinity, and belief in a cause, not based on guilt or peer pressure.
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Here’s where I envision the comment field of this article blowing up.
“You’re a pussy, it’s just cold water.”
“Lighten up, it’s for a good cause.”
“What a selfish statement.”
The answer is still no.
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It comes down to this. I want to (and do) give charitably out of love, affinity, and belief in a cause, not based on guilt or peer pressure. Consider a typical day filled with guilt-driven charitable asks. I fetch the mail, and here’s what a find.
First, an envelope from Organization A with a shiny nickel peering through the sheer window. The condensed message, “Keep the nickel, and consider yourself an asshole, return the nickel and consider yourself slightly less the asshole, or return the nickel as well as a donation.”
Next, an envelope from Organization B. They have been kind enough to print personalized mailing labels and sent me a notepad to hang on my fridge. The implied message, “We’ve done something for you, now you do something for us.” (And by the way, use one of the address labels on your donation envelope).
There is social pressure rather than a selfless act guiding the behavior.
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Third, an envelope from Organization C. This is an environmental organization that tells me, if I don’t act now, I could in small part be responsible for the elimination of an endangered species or soon-not-to-be-protected habitat. If I donate, I’m doing the right thing, and as recognition, I’ll get an umbrella.
Finally, an envelope from Organization D. The sad puppy stares me in the face, and the story of how he got there even furthers my guilt. I’m asked to donate so that sad puppies like this don’t end up on envelopes.
I donate to none of these. Why? Because it’s guilt-based. There is social pressure rather than a selfless act guiding the behavior. Giving to charity should be happy and uplifting. Medium contributor Tom Gibson, in his article “Charities: Stop Selling Guilt” provides a powerful quote that shares my perspective: “We are, quite literally, trying to improve things by making people unhappy.”
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Every year I donate to the Wounded Warrior Foundation via the Tough Mudder. I purposefully submerge myself in ice cold water and subject myself to electric shocks. I don’t donate because someone called me out or pressured me. I donate because I personally know Wounded Warriors, support active duty servicemen and servicewomen, and believe in the work Wounded Warrior does.
… social giving–giving to someone directly or giving that creates a social connection–creates higher levels of happiness.
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I also donate to several animal rescue charities. I’ve been to their locations. I know their story. I believe in what they do. I give out of love because these organizations have a story that speaks to me.
During times of disaster, I ensure I donate to Red Cross or other support organizations, not because I’m made to feel guilty, but because I see it as a humanitarian act of love. I have met individuals directly impacted by Red Cross intervention.
In the meantime, I obtain a residual benefit because social giving–giving to someone directly or giving that creates a social connection–creates higher levels of happiness. Don’t misinterpret, calling someone out to jump in cold water and donate is not social because it doesn’t connect them to the cause or to the larger social purpose.
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If you have initiated a Cold Water Challenge or accepted a Cold Water Challenge, please don’t take this as an indictment of your actions. In the end, donations are reaching important organizations. Instead consider it a challenge of a different sort; a challenge to shed guilt, peer pressure, or expectation and give out of love. And if someone tries to convince you otherwise, go tell ’em to jump in a cold lake.
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Image credit: Mr. Muddy Suitman/flickr (original image cropped)
The photo you used is however a Polar Plunge for Special Olympics, which is an annual event throughout the U.S., where a large group of people, who have embarked on a fundraising program for Special Olympics, gather to take a plunge. No one is coerce to plunge and one can even be in the “chicken” category and fund raise and participate in the after party lunch/events/raffle/auction. I agree with you on the ice bucket challenge as it really doesn’t foster an ongoing fundraising program whereas the Polar Plunge is an annual community event including media, law enforcement, school groups and… Read more »
I agree completely. I feel the same way about emails that tell me if I don’t forward them to everyone I know then I don’t love God. I say the same thing about emails that tell me if I don’t sign them and copy them to 10 people then I have let God down. Jesus encouraged people rather then guilt them to death. He encouraged faithfulness as a way to release the power of God in the life of the believer. It is time we lose the guilt and promote faith and evangelism done freely and faithfully.