This comment was by Jed Diamond on the post “But Where Do Men Go From Here?“
—
I think we all wrestle with the dynamic of wanting to “be authentic” vs wanting to “fit in.” One of the benefits of feeling like a misfit (which I think a lot of us have felt growing up) is that I could say, “to hell with fitting in, not going to happen, so I might as well go with being authentic.” When I was four I got my first pair of “big boy shoes” and fell in love with Red Keds. The salesman explained to my mother that red was for girls and blue was for boys. I insisted on the red and walked out with my first pair. I still wear red shoes from time to time even though if you google Red Keds, you’ll see pictures of wearers, all of them girls, led by Taylor Swift.
Growing up without a father, I didn’t have a lot of modelling about what it meant to be a “real man.” So, I’ve been inventing it myself. Not always easy, particularly when the girl I loved wouldn’t look at me twice because I wasn’t a jock or a “bad boy.”
But thank God for those who love us misfits who, due to circumstances beyond our control, are forced to be ourselves.
—
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men? Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
—
Photo: Alan Levine / flickr / Creative Commons License