This comment of the day was by Tom Chill on the post “How Fear and Shame are Killing the Modern Man“.
I am a millennial…and me personally, I am on the sensitive side, I share my feelings and emotions just as my father taught me to do. To this my father (now in his 60’s) is still very affectionate and still does not shut down but rather speak his mind and his emotions. Sometimes he doesn’t have the words for it. I was raised by a man who struggled with the points listed in this article, a boomer, who found it difficult to be himself as he grew. His father died young forcing him to be thrust into the “man of the family” role. He eventually became a laborer and while his body got hardened his emotional state never did.
I was raised by that man and I can see the similarities within many of my peers. While there is no doubt that society is loosing up on the gender roles and more accepting of men who are softer, who are more open, there are still 3x as many who are on the other side. Many of my peers were raised by the stereotypical, emotional-hiding, never let ’em see you sweat, “strong” men. I find it intriguing to see who the ones are that come out on top as we crest into our 30’s. Were they raised by the softer men or the harder men, and are they themselves soft or hard? Does it even have any correlation to how successful you’ll be in life or in love?
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Photo: geishaboy / flickr
We need more softer men in our society, men who can connect with their sons and daughters. Thank you for this brave and wonderful post. 🙂
You’re screen name says a lot. Good for this guy and his dad but being “softer” is one of many types of men. My dad was not a warm and fuzzy guy, not a lot of hugs and showed limited emotions. He was a GREAT man that I still miss 40 years later. I am though, more affectionate then he was but did/do maintain a strong presence. As a guy that was raised by what some would consider a hard ass, there was never a moment in my life that I didn’t feel his love for me. I never remember… Read more »