This comment was by Becca on the post Are Men at a Disadvantage in Modern Dating? by Cristian Pucheta
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What do men think of women who ask them out? I am really curious about that. I guess I assume that men view women who are willing to ask a man out as too assertive, a bit scary or potentially. When I want them to see me as nice and normal.
I could probably find a date by taking the initiative, but would the man just think I’m looking for sex? Would he consider me potential “girlfriend material”? Or would he think I was a little odd or weird?
I think that’s my biggest fear …. being seen as weird! Or desperate.
Looking back at my life, there were men I liked who never seemed to notice me even if I flirted with them. I assumed they weren’t interested. Is that a fair assumption?
I think a lot of women send signals to men they like, but the men aren’t receiving. Yet, it is hard to be bold enough to ask a man on a date if you have to be so completely obvious that it makes you seem like a weirdo,
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It would be a dream come true to be asked out by the right woman. I don’t see any downside to a woman asking a man out. If she’s that interested, he may be a bit shy. Many of us are too shy or just afraid of rejection to make the first move, so go without knowing.
I would cherish they day a woman a asked me out. I think most women these days are just used to guys hitting on them, pestering them and soliciting them for sex that they don’t realize when a guy actually likes them they assume the reason is anything other than an actual relationship. For someone like myself who is shy and terrible at reading flirting signs, I would love for a women to take the pressure off.
I get knocked back when I ask or say “I like you.” or get the silent subject change, depending what the situation was at the time.
I think in a modern society where gender equality is prominent then women asking men out is a nice change for men and women alike. So what am I doing wrong?
It’s only refreshing and welcome if she’s someone you’re interested in (the opposite is true, too). Both women and men welcome someone with confidence enough to approach but it is unlikely inform whether or not the answer is yes. A cute guy or girl being persistent is seen as determined where a not so attractive to you person seems like a creepy stalker. As with everything, it’s all a matter of perspective. And, really, everyone is at a disadvantage in dating. Why? Because no one is psychic. If you make an honest effort, you may or may not come away… Read more »
I agree nothing more attractive than a woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. The girl I’m now pursuing asked me out on a date which I gladly accepted.
There’s nothing more attractive, appealing, and yeah, nothing more sexy, than confidence and assertiveness. When women have asked me out (rare unfortunately) I’ve been blown away by their confidence. It’s not only normal and nice, but it has made me feel the way I want to feel: desired for who I am, and for what I am. And that is a potential partner; a potential friend; an equal in every way. Yet only a man. I’ve never felt anything weird, uncomfortable, or untoward in being asked out. Only loved. It should happen more often.
Did you accept?
I would welcome a woman asking me out. As long as she is not over the top in looking for sex. In an example I was at the Boston Harbor hotel listening to an outdoor concert. I am paraplegic after an accident in 2005. She approached me and after she asked me about the band I went silent due to my fear of rejection. I now have a list of good questions to ask in a situation like that.
I wish a few women had asked me out when I was single. It would not have seemed weird or desperate at all to me, but refreshing and welcome.
I would not mind if a woman asked me out!
It is difficult to cross that space, to possibly rejected. Go ahead and ask. You might be pleasently surprised!