Communication is a vital tool keeping your partner informed of necessary information about your feelings. Read on to learn the art of fine tuning this key relationship skill.
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Communication: the “art” of conveying messages or sending information from one source to another.
Why this is important? Because it’s a vital tool to keep others informed of necessary information. It allows people to make knowledgable decisions in circumstances that require specific information and in romantic relationships. It is a necessary skill to prevent/dissolve issues that are sure to arise in relationships.
Communication is a fundamental tool that is often left behind in a lot of relationships whether they be friendly or romantic. People are too often defeated by the fear of saying what’s necessary in order to protect themselves from being the “bad guy” rather than just conveying how they feel about a particular situation. People too often exercise the “ignorance is bliss” philosophy so they will have an excuse to say well, I didn’t know to avoid accountability for negative results. People have an easier time saying accusatory statements, but can’t even formulate a sentence when communication is vital for progression. It seems easier to place blame than to take ownership of their responsibility in effective communication.
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In any romantic relationship you MUST communicate the necessary intentions in order to ensure functionality and longevity.
1. Honest communication of intentions: what is the aim or goal for your relationship?
2. Active communication of issues: most of the time problems start off small; they grow bigger if not addressed. Take into consideration the source of your offenses. What are you offended by? Do you believe that this person intended to offend you? Is it more beneficial to confront or to show grace? Take the time to approach these situations in a way that won’t put your partner on the defensive. Note: some things warrant compromise.
3. Communicate appreciation and reassurance: some things need to be said even if you feel you have show how you feel. This builds trust and makes communicating easier when it’s something difficult to say.
4. Honesty honesty honesty: lies are never a good idea; mistakes are very forgivable if corrected; lies are blatant disrespect, display lack of character, and destroy trust and the integrity of your relationship. A big NO NO! Also do not make it difficult for someone to be honest with you. It takes trust to be able to communicate, so do your best to be patient with your partner’s honesty. It won’t always feel good.
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Be very aware that men and women communicate in totally different ways, almost as if they are speaking different languages. It takes a particular type of intimacy to decipher what each is saying in certain situations. For example…men, when women are communicating their problems to you, it’s not necessarily her asking you for your expert problem-solving techniques, she might be asking for your ear and understanding for comfort and compassion. Ladies, a mans lack of communication isn’t always a sign of detachment from you. A man is often quiet and distant when he is having problems that he is contemplating diligently to solve. There is no need to chase him an make him vent to you, he’ll be back. Of course, the same personality traits may apply to either sex. Handle accordingly. This is a process after all.
These two examples illustrate men and women’s miscommunication, proving it’s necessary for men and women to be active in learning effective communication methods. Patience and understanding is key to developing communication skills as well as acknowledging a familiarity with yourself in order to effectively process what’s being conveyed to you and what you need to convey to others. Be sure to treat your partner how you wish to be treated. It will come back to you.
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Photo credit: Getty Images
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