One man’s journey bringing a new father figure into his kid’s life.
—
A lot can happen in six years. It doesn’t seem that long ago when I became a divorced dad with a very energetic 3-year-old. I was living in a half-empty house that was once my family’s home and trying my best to move to the city. My life was, once again, a blank slate and as exciting as this might sound, it also presented a million different decisions, duties, and headaches. A scary new world had opened up and I had no clue where to begin.
Soon after that I met Jason. I knew he was special from the moment we crossed paths. He had a humor that goes unmatched and developed the same love for Samuel as a father has for his own son. Samuel was immediately attached and the smile on my face was a permanent fixture.
When Samuel looks in Jason’s eyes, he sees a teacher, leader, supporter, encourager, and probably a dad. Whatever he calls him is immaterial.
|
Honestly, if the roles had been reversed, I am not sure I could have done it. It cannot be easy stepping into a family unit with so many uncertainties. Challenges have to be faced head-on and conversations that can’t be avoided. It takes a lot of strength and a lot of love, but Jason jumped on board and off we went. I am for sure the lucky one in this scenario, even though Jason and I both argue about who is more fortunate.
◊♦◊
“Dad, what do I call Jason?”
That is the one question Samuel asked me after I told him that Jason and I were going to get married. A lot was going on in my little man’s head. With his mom recently remarried there were already so many changes in his life. We wanted to make sure he felt safe .
“You can still call him Jason.”
We wanted to make sure Samuel knew that his bond with Jason was not going to change. That he was safe to call him Jason like he always had and that a name does not determine love.
When Samuel looks in Jason’s eyes, he sees a teacher, leader, supporter, encourager, and probably a dad. Whatever he calls him is immaterial. Like me, he can’t imagine our family without him.
This article was originally published on Gays with Kids.
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
—
Photo: Getty Images
What to call step-parents and step-grandparents can always be tricky. The toughest one I’ve had to deal with is what my kids call my step-mother. I always called her by her first name. Part of that is because she was never really that motherly towards me. But, she will more than likely never have grandchildren of her own. So, she really wants my kids to call her grandma or grandma plus her first name. That has caused a little drama given the past history between her and my mother. And I don’t think my ex-mother-in-law ever really liked her, either.… Read more »