A random Flickr search led to an important insight for one of the Executive Editors of the Good Men Project.
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I was on Flicker Creative Commons the other day, searching for an image for another post I was working on when I came across this, obviously quite old, photo strip of a father and his son. In the first three images, they are highly engaged with each other—playing around the same way we see modern day fathers playing and loving on their children on social media like Facebook and Instagram. In the last image, it is as if the father has suddenly snapped into the way he is “supposed” to be portrayed—chin up, eyes at the camera, stern expression. Seeing this series of photos gave me a flash of insight. Fathers have ALWAYS loved their children—which of course is what I have always believed. Yet the disconnect for me has been that virtually all of the photos we see from this era mirror the image on the far right. The stoic father holding his child firmly in place, no smile, no indication he is enjoying their time together. Seeing the three photos leading up to the last one caught my attention and helped this piece of the puzzle fall into place. Of course it is not some new phenomenon, this love of fathers for their children. Fathers are not suddenly joining mothers with their all-consuming love. That has always been there. The difference is that fathers are now able to openly express that love, without—or at least, with less—ridicule. Whereas before it was something private—and certainly not something captured by images and photos of those times—fathers can now openly share their personal love and joy in being a parent.Progress. We are making progress.
And let’s not forget, just because someone doesn’t share their love and joy with the rest of the world every day, does not mean the love for their children is not there.
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Photo: simpleinsomnia/Flickr
I was born in the mid 70s in a lower middle class to middle class environment. Fathers in our neighborhood were lower level engineers, machinist, truck drivers, I remember one social worker and a few teachers. I will tell you that during the 80s it seemed in my little world that MOST fathers left their families. It was strange to have both parents still together by the time one would reach high school. I remember the neighbor kids waiting all day one summer on their porch for their father to drive from Michigan to pick them up. He never came.… Read more »
You also have to keep in mind that photography used to be very uncommon. Of course people had their posed faces on: they only had one or two pictures, which they might not see for several weeks after they had been developed.. Now, cameras are everywhere and we can always take the picture we want.
-Jut
Fathers actually love their children?
Who’d a-thunk it?
Next thing you know, someone will come up with the crazy idea that fathers deserve equal rights when it comes to custody of their children during a divorce.