Danica Barnett turns the page on Tinder by using books to find a match. Should we call this ‘booking up’?
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Tinder isn’t for me. I’m not interested in “hooking up” and while I occasionally try to be reckless, I’m not the kind of girl who agrees to meet internet strangers. I’ve politely declined offers for sex, had conversations that were duller than my Biology lecture, and managed to become really good friends with a guy that I’ve yet to meet.
I’ve swooned over shirtless cuties and fangirled over matching with boys who seemed as nerdy as me.
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However, I do love swiping and seeing how guys market themselves to girls. I’ve swooned over shirtless cuties and fangirled over matching with boys who seemed as nerdy as me. My face has turned as red as my dyed hair (which has been a hit on Tinder) over the cute lines and rather suggestive paragraphs matches have sent me. I was confused and slightly proud when I passed 100 matches, and continued to watch as my number of matches climbed into the thousands. It became almost impossible to carry on conversations with everyone I matched with, and I became convinced that Tinder is not where an Elizabeth Bennet meets her Mr. Darcy.
I’ve always believed that if you want to get to know a person, investigating what titles decorate their bookcase is the best way.
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After a while, I figured I would try something new. Rather than make small talk, I decided to ask for book recommendations from my matches and only continue the conversation if they had a suggestion I was interested in. Knowing that I often can be stubborn in my choice of reading material, I made a note to read as many of the suggested books as possible. I’ve always believed that if you want to get to know a person, investigating what titles decorate their bookcase is the best way. Instead of Facebook stalking the cute boy in my psychology lecture, I want to explore his Goodreads shelf to see what he has read and wants to read.
Surprisingly, Everyone Poops by Tarō Gomi was a popular response. While I was positive it was a joke, I forced my inner-book snob to read it. Although the children’s book is essentially plotless, it was nice to remind myself that using the bathroom is a normal thing. The child in me would have much rather preferred Rainbow Fish, but I think I may have enjoyed it more if my parents had read it to me before I was potty-trained. If I had continued to reply, I’m sure that the conversation would have quickly turned into them asking me to come over late at night.
Surprisingly, Everyone Poops by Tarō Gomi was a popular response.
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While several of my matches had merely told me “anything Hemingway”, a few suggested The Sun Also Rises; it was always a guy who had a quote as his biography. As an avid reader, it’s hard to admit to that while I’m a fan of F. Scott Fitzgerald, I’ve never tried to read anything by another important writer of his time, Ernest Hemingway.
To me, Hemingway has always been an indicator of a literary snob. If you claimed to be a reader and hadn’t read Hemingway, it was a giveaway to pretentious bookworms everywhere that you had no real literary taste. I enjoyed reading the book as I drank my coffee and tried to picture myself at the fiesta, but grew tired of reading short, simple sentences. As you can probably tell, I’m a fan of commas. While the words flowed unnaturally to me, as a member of this century’s “Lost Generation,” I seemed to connect well to his characters. Brett decided to never settle down and I don’t think I ever will. Like Jake, I am content with my life, even though it could be better. It’s easier to love my Lady Ashley from far away and spend my days fishing and drinking (or in my case, Netflix and stuffing my face with pizza).
According to Gladwell, success has a lot to do with opportunity, and after I finished reading the book I decided to seek out my own and agreed to meet up with him for frozen yogurt.
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I’m a fan of Malcolm Gladwell. Blink and The Tipping Point have adorned my bookshelf since I discovered I had an interest in psychology. Although Outliers has always been on my To-Read list, it took a Tinder match suggesting the book to me before I turned to the first page. I was excited to have an excuse to read this book, but I was put off by how perfect his profile was. Two of his pictures showed him dressed in a suit and the last one was taken while hiking. He was a student at our business college and claimed to be “adventurous” and “looking for a girl to spoil.” Outliers reminded me of all the seemingly-impossible tasks that are within my grasp. According to Gladwell, success has a lot to do with opportunity, and after I finished reading the book I decided to seek out my own and agreed to meet up with him for frozen yogurt. Once again, I am excited to add another Gladwell book to my shelves and to have someone to talk to about them.
Some of my matches had tastes similar to mine. One suggested I should read John Green’s Looking for Alaska (I had just purchased the 10th anniversary edition) and another suggested The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. They recommended books that are best-sellers, which means that they probably saw how much their friends liked them and decided that they would read them, too. Although I felt rereads would be technically cheating, I found myself picking them off my shelves after being reminded how good they were. I’ve always been inspired by Pudge’s desire to seek a Great Perhaps, and hope I will have last words that someone will want to memorize. I’ve always been jealous of the cool friends that Charlie makes and I realized how much I crave the feeling of being infinite. While it may have been cheating to reread these books, it reminded me how well I identify with coming-of-age novels. Young adult fiction has always been therapeutic for me and escaping into the world of characters that were similar to me inspired my love of reading. I knew that these two boys would be the ones who understood when I was silent for a few hours, lost in a fictional world, and would be there with tissues when the last few pages broke my heart.
While Tinder may not be my cup of tea, asking my matches for their reading recommendations has enabled me to connect with some really interesting characters.
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While Tinder may not be my cup of tea, asking my matches for their reading recommendations has enabled me to connect with some really interesting characters. I may not agree to a date with one of the matches who recommended Everyone Poops (and I’m terrified that the guy who recommended The Sun Also Rises will judge my tastes too much), but I can definitely see myself agreeing to a cup of coffee with one of the young men who recommended the rest of the titles. He may even be able to convince me to go on a second date, if he can get me to put down whatever his next recommendation is.
Originally published on RealTalk.
Photo—Joe Wolf/Flickr
Hemingway is the author that many subsequent authors tried to emulate. I’ve never though liking Hemingway was snobbery, though. “The Sun Also Rises” and his early short stories are his best work, though. Too many of his later works seem too much like parodies of “Hemingway”.
Your article was well written. Brilliant asking for book recommendations!