Why the option on Facebook to control how much you see of your ex just isn’t enough — and what a newly single person really needs.
—
Being single and dating in the modern era, you can imagine my excitement at Facebook’s recent announcement that you can now set some parameters around how much you see of an ex’s posts once you change your relationship status with them. But, that is not really enough. Anyone who has loved and lost on Facebook knows it is far more complex than simply not seeing your ex’s feed.
Here’s what we really need:
First, Facebook, please automatically unfriend the ex. And send us both this notification: “Hi Joe. Since you and Molly are no longer in a relationship, we have unfriended her so that you don’t message her and get back together for one night and further confuse and complicate the painful breakup process.”
“Hi Joe. Would you like to re-friend your ex, Molly? You will not see her posts or her feed or have access to her photos without first being required to message your friend Eric and get his permission …
|
Next, Facebook should offer to renew the friendship after one month. But it needs to go like this, “Hi Joe. Would you like to re-friend your ex, Molly? You will not see her posts or her feed or have access to her photos without first being required to message your friend Eric and get his permission. These restrictions will be lifted after two months.”
The next day I would like this from Facebook: “Hi Molly. Have you slept with your ex, Joe? Please reply so that we know how to adjust your permissions. A.Yes, B. No, C. Maybe, D. I can’t remember, E. Yes and I never want to see his face again, F. Yes and we are back together, please change my relationship status back to ‘in a relationship.’”
After six months I would like Facebook to tell me very, very gently: “Hi Molly. We notice that your ex Joe has changed his relationship status to “married.” We have unfriended him for your convenience. Should you choose to re-friend him, you will not have access to his wife’s name or any of his photos. Peace out.”
And Facebook, in the future, could you please offer me these relationship status options:
A. Married
B. Single
C. Single and never ever want to get married
D. Contemplating divorce
E. In a relationship
F. In a relationship but thinking about ending it
G. Just had coffee with someone and I think I want to go out again
H. Casually sleeping with a friend
I. Dating three people and I can’t pick
J. Moving in together but I don’t like her cat
K. In love but not wanting congratulatory or snarky comments from Facebook friends
L. Would like the checkout guy at Trader Joes to ask me out
M. Engaged!
N. Wanting but not needing a relationship
O. Working on myself first.
Thank you for listening, Facebook!
Would you like to help us shatter stereotypes about men?
Receive stories from The Good Men Project, delivered to your inbox daily or weekly.
—
Photo:Getty Images