In college, you can do anything you set your mind to, no matter how ridiculous, on virtually no sleep, and with little to no consequences.
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As I look out at you, the Graduates of the Class of 2016, I cannot believe that twenty-five years have passed since I was in Washington Square Park for my own Commencement at NYU.
I don’t remember who the speaker was at my graduation or any of what that person had to say, but I’m sure it was not as poignant as what I’m about to share with you.
When I sat in my cap and gown awaiting my diploma, I was 21, President of the Residence Hall Government, a member of the NYU Baseball Team, and a student at the best Film School in the country. I wasn’t necessarily a Big Man on Campus, but there was a little bit of size to my presence.
The moment they handed me my diploma and I hurled my mortarboard skyward like a Brat Pack member at the end of a feel good 80’s flick, however, I became just one of tens of thousands of overdressed unemployed fish in the enormous pond that was the real world.
My immediate goal was to get out of the dorm, move into an apartment with my girlfriend, and get on with proving that I was ready to do adult things in a reality where Summer Vacation and Spring Break had been replaced with paying back student loans and holding down a nine to five job.
Looking back at it now, I realize what an incredible mistake I made. What was my rush to put those amazing four years behind me and treat college like it was an ex-girlfriend I had lost interest in the second that post-college life had batted its eyelashes at me?
Why hadn’t I clung to college, its mystique, and its laidback approach for as long as I possibly could?
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I should have at least allowed myself one last Summer of Austin to ease the transition from late night parties and virtually no responsibility, into a life where the rent was due the first of every month and I couldn’t just hit the snooze button and blow off my day if I wasn’t in the mood.
Sadly, college lasts for only four years, unless you are an expert at milking the system. And if you are, this speech is not intended for you, so feel free to nap until I’m done.
If you’re “lucky,” reality drags on for at least another half century. You don’t need to be a Math major to figure out that the amount of time we get to enjoy college pales in comparison with how much time we will spend slouching at a desk with our brain numb and spirit broken, desperately trying to survive the work week, and hoping to earn enough money so that our children can breeze through four years of college before continuing the very same circle of death.
I know you are all eager to leave this ceremony and start on an exciting new chapter in your lives, but I assure you that for almost every last one of you, life is never going to be any better than the years you just spent at this very institution that you are abandoning today.
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Your golden years aren’t decades ahead of you, dear graduates.
It’s your twenties when you are in peak form. This is when you still have the ambition, stamina, drive, charisma, reckless abandon, medical clearance, and time to go after anything you want. Don’t blow it by settling down, chaining yourself to a desk, mortgage, and significant other, while forgetting about what the last four years have taught you.
In addition to whatever it says on your diploma, college taught you that you can do pretty much anything you set your mind to, no matter how ridiculous, on virtually no sleep, and with little to no consequences. How much trouble did you really get into with the RA for that wild party you threw? Did Campus Police lock you away with hardened criminals when you ran afoul of the school’s archaic regulations? Did the professor dismiss you from class for your numerous absences, failure to turn in assignments, or for flirting with your peers during class time?
Maybe they won’t let you remain here since you’ve earned your degree, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t take college with you. Refuse to conform to the rules of the rat race. Don’t accept the first job that’s offered, or even go on any interviews if they are simply to land a soul-sucking gig that pays the student loans. Share an apartment with a bunch of fellow graduates, stay up well past the evening news, and live off cold pizza, lukewarm beer, and ramen noodles.
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Most importantly, chase after whatever dream that has burned inside you since you first met that professor who changed the way you look at life. You owe it to your college self to at least make an attempt to pursue the risky career that might not pay the bills right away, but fills you with a passion that makes getting up out of bed before noon a worthwhile sacrifice.
There are enough drones in suits out there to fill the dead end jobs quota. Those mindless desk sentences will still be waiting to bore you to death after you do everything possible to make a go of it at the job your little heart so desperately desires, and your ego craves in order for your life to have any true meaning.
Sure, this quest for soul fire is going to make your mother weep and earn you stern looks from your father as he pours himself yet another Scotch and mumbles under his breath about how he never would’ve been allowed to waste his life like this, but ignore the parental drama.
It’s your life, graduates.
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Trust me when I say that it’s much harder to leave the safe, established career path for the road more risky once you accept that first paycheck and sign up for medical benefits. It is beyond mind-boggling how trapped security can actually make you feel, and how exponentially more difficult it is to walk away from something you hate, but keeps a roof over your head, food on the table, and your significant other from leaving you for someone who understands that life isn’t the long overdue sequel to Animal House.
That’s why I’m urging you to extend your college stay, if only in your mindset, for at least a few more months. The cooler, wilder, pre-graduate version of you still doesn’t have a real understanding of what it means to be truly responsible, dependable, and absolutely without hope.
Before you give in to the dark side of an unchallenging career in the field of eternal disappointment and wasted opportunities, search your feelings, take a leap of faith, and chase whatever dream your inner Obi Wan urges you to pursue.
The aura of invincibility that college gives you fades very quickly. You need to keep its protective presence shimmering around you for as long as possible, and even if you fail in your quest, twenty-five years later, you won’t find yourself regretting the decisions that you made.
Life is far too long (and advances in science far too slow) to spend it hoping that someone will figure out time travel just so you can go back to your graduation day and do everything differently.
Follow my advice and learn from my mistakes.
Congratulations, graduates! You made it through the easy part. Now it’s time for the real challenges to begin…
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Photo: Unsplash/Flickr
Read Austin Hodgens’ column every week here on The Good Men Project!
And thank you for sharing this!
If college was free, people would have more time to find themselves and find out what they really want. It would also be nice if we could emphases that all college degrees are important and that not that degrees like history, anthropology, etc., should be thrown away because your chances of getting hired are bad compared to engineering, accounting, computer, etc., considering the fact that even those degrees don’t guarantee job security because your boss decides to send your job overseas or bring in import labor to replace you.
Great advice, Austin. I didn’t have the chance to go to college, but if I had, this is what I would’ve wanted to hear at my graduation. Too many people allow themselves to be pressured too quickly into the notion of security — nor having the wisdom and life experience to know that “security” is often another name for regret. A life spent in pursuit of what could be is better than a life wondering what could have been. Well done, my friend 😉
Thanks, Ned. Glad you enjoyed it!