If you’re ever curious as to how vile and loathsome the human race can be without doing anything criminal, interrupt their dinner to talk about windows and siding.
______
I suppose everything is really a matter of perspective. From the perspective of one prospective lead, it just sucked to be me. Rather than engage this particular man and try to dig for a lead, I sighed and simply turned away. He called out to remind me that it did indeed suck to be me. Being that it was after dark in a neighborhood without any street lights, and no one was going to notice me just standing there, I took a moment to compose myself and think.
*knock knock*
“Hi, sir! My name-” *slam* |
Did it suck to be me? Sure, it sucked to have people treat me like dirt. Sure, it sucked that, because I wore a badge that had the name and picture of both my company and me, I couldn’t stand up for myself without repercussions. Sure, in my year of knocking, I encountered harsh, demoralizing language, lousy attitudes, calls to the police and more than one lecture about how I should get a “real job.”
There are plenty of thankless jobs out there paying minimum wage where people still get treated like dirt and have to bend over backwards to accommodate an ever-shifting schedule. All I had to do, as a canvasser, was get someone to say “windows” or “siding” or some other home improvement. Healthy hourly wages, opportunity for bonuses, and working 3-8pm Monday-Friday without anyone looking over my shoulder. You know what? It was pretty great to be me.
◊♦◊
*knock knock*
“Hi, sir! My name-”
*slam*
You do what you’ve got to do. Rain, wind, heat, snow, ice – doesn’t matter.
*knock knock*
“We’re in your neighborhood today because-”
*slam*
Bonuses, a free tank of gas per week, and $17.50 an hour. I could take five hours of this.
*knock knock*
“We do a variety of-”
*slam*
“What would you like your complimentary consultation on-”
*slam*
“-windows or siding?”
“Get the fuck off my porch!”
*slam*
It could have been worse. One of my coworkers was shoved down a flight of stairs. Another was bitten by a dog. Yet another had a rifle trained on him.
*knock knock*
“Well, I’m not thinking about anything right now.”
Occasionally, someone threw an objection, meaning they said (one way or the other) they wouldn’t do it. Not that they couldn’t do it. I didn’t make the money I made just to be yelled at, hoping the law of averages would yield an enthusiastic “windows” if I knocked on enough doors. I made money to turn a “no” into a “yes.”
◊♦◊
We learned no one would care if you were cold and tired and couldn’t get the lead. Because God help you if you didn’t.
|
We learned not to count on bonuses. We learned to always carry an umbrella. We learned to wear a pair of thin black socks beneath a pair of thick wool socks so our feet wouldn’t freeze in their own sweat from the hours of walking. We learned no one would care if you were cold and tired and couldn’t get the lead.
Because God help you if you didn’t.
Most of the year was smooth sailing, but winter was always harsh. When opening the door to a stranger meant losing money to the heating bill, people didn’t listen to the pitch. We learned to abandon the pitch. We learned to promise them the moon and agree with their every word. We learned to do anything and everything to get a project, a phone number and an appointment.
Because there was no God if you came back without them.
Hostile work environment didn’t come close to the 15 minutes or so every day before we went out into the world. If you were a woman, you could count on sexual harassment. If you were a man, you could count on being emasculated in front of everyone. It didn’t matter what your gender, really – for those 15 minutes, whale shit rated higher on the food chain than you did.
Because how hard would it be for the boss to find another body to take $17.50 an hour, a tank of gas each week, and bonuses each month to drive out to various residential areas and knock on doors? How hard would it be for the boss to train another parrot to read the same script fifty times a day? How hard is it to turn just one no into one yes?
It ultimately depends on what you’re willing to stomach. Doors in my face? Sure. Cold? No worries. Harsh language? I’d hear worse if I failed.
Getting thrown down the stairs? Getting attacked by dogs? Having a rifle pointed at me?
*knock knock*
◊♦◊
For months after the rifle incident, I kept knocking. After a year, though, I just couldn’t do it anymore. Not because I didn’t want to do it anymore (which I didn’t), because I found a more lucrative offer (I wish), or even because I feared for my safety (I’m in the Army – danger is part of the job). It’s because I became a father.
Children learn by observation, not just from conscious, deliberate teaching. What would my daughter learn by watching me? That misery is a man’s default state? That coming home angry late at night was normal?
So when I get a knock at my door during dinner, or the doorbell rings after I’ve put my daughter to bed, I open the door and hear what the poor soul has to say.
|
My wife gleefully went back to work while I stayed home to care for our daughter. I took freelance jobs that I could do from home while she napped. We made cuts in the budget where we could. You do what you you’ve got to do.
So does the rest of the world. So when I get a knock at my door during dinner, or the doorbell rings after I’ve put my daughter to bed, I open the door and hear what the poor soul has to say. Even if I’m not interested. Even if I’m hungry and tired. And especially when I’m furious that my daughter woke up because of the noise.
It does suck to march around in the dark looking for your livelihood. It sucks to have to smile at strangers as they look at you with contempt. It sucks to feel like you don’t have a “real job,” and the best remedy for that level of frustration is a simple gesture of kindness. Even if I can’t give them the “yes” they want, I might be the breath of fresh air they need to find it next door.
_____
Image credit: Amy Loves Yah/flickr
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Let us say the person does not slam the door in your face. Instead, the person cordially but firmly says “Thank you, but I am not interested and I do not wish to be bothered.”
Would you honor their refusal and leave?
A polite rejection is one thing. I do door to door sales for comcast and they do give you a good salary and benefits but what’s even worse than a harsh rejection is when people jerk you around and tell you they’re interested or even tell you to come back a few times and by the 4th or 5th time you contact they go bipolar and tell you to leave and make it seem like I’m being a pushy salesman. That’s worse than initial rejection and a waste of my time and theirs. But yeah door to door sales is… Read more »
I did door-to-door for a while as well as telemarketing. I never had the level of bad experiences you had thank goodness although I was nipped by dogs twice. That scene in the 40 Year Old Virgin where she tells him to jump off of a building always cracks me up. Most of the people I worked with would usually just laugh off any bad experiences. Usually…LOL Thanks for sharing a perspective that few people get.
Thank you for that interesting insight Michael, it has made me vow to be more sympathetic and listen a little longer next time there is a knock at my door.
Hi Michael, Thanks for writing this. I’ve worked in sales nearly all my life. Actually, in fact I’ve kinda been in sales since I was 7 yrs old. I was raised in a religious sect that meant I had to knock doors selling bible studies etc…. You can bet you get doors slammed in your face even when you’re a cute 7 year old when you’re selling bibles! I currently work as a charity fundraiser. And some people are even worse to me than when I was selling bibles, selling gas and electric, or selling photocopiers. Anyway, I needed this… Read more »