Communication in any relationship is the key to finding love.
—
You meet an attractive girl at a bar who happens to smile at you as you pass by and would like to talk to her. This situation isn’t all that easy for a lot of men. Imagine, then, being confined to a wheelchair, sitting a foot or two below her eye level, trying to act manly and cool as you gain the courage to say a simple hello.
Many men and women in wheelchairs live normal lives and have partners who help them do it.
|
The truth is looking, and feeling manly is difficult when confined to a metal chair on wheels. Working out, getting in shape, wearing the latest trends, having white teeth, nothing can help lift the sinking feeling you are different from the rest of the guys in the room. This may seem like an over-exaggeration, but for a lot of disabled men, this is the reality.
The obvious insecurity comes from the wheelchair itself, the 20-pound hunk of metal that is the only way some disabled people can traverse this world.
◊♦◊
Scott is a 36-year-old paraplegic man confined to a wheelchair ever since he and his dad were in a car accident over 25 years ago. He has always loved playing sports, and as a child, he loved soccer in particular.
After the accident, while Scott could no longer play soccer, but it didn’t mean his days as an athlete were over. He found different avenues of competition. He found wheelchair basketball, one of the most competitive wheelchair sports in the United States, and has been able to flourish through the sport. Playing basketball in high school brought with it a lot of admiration from his coach, teammates and his competition. He was one of the top players in the country.
When it was time to graduate high school, Scott accepted a scholarship to play with the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater Warhawks. During his stint at UWW, Scott played an integral part in winning two national championships and establishing a powerhouse program.
He also met his future wife, Ann, at the school, a gymnast and someone with the same competitive drive as himself. As their courtship progressed, Scott’s insecurities persisted.
“My biggest insecurity was not being able to do normal activity stuff that an able-bodied couple could do,” Scott said.
Over time, they did find things to do together. Ann became passionate about wheelchair basketball and supporting her new boyfriend. They would play pickup games together—he in the wheelchair and she standing up—and their matches would be competitive. Having played a game with them, I can say this couple doesn’t hold back when it comes to competition. It’s one of the reasons that makes their relationship so endearing. They got married in 2005 and moved to Nebraska, where Scott is from.
If you feel insecure about a relationship, talk to your partner.
|
Scott works for the US Army Corps of Engineers and Ann is an elementary P.E. teacher. After spending time in an apartment, they were able to save up enough money to buy a home, one that is fully wheelchair accessible and fits the wants and needs of the couple.
Ann and Scott’s story may seem inspirational, sure, but not entirely uncommon. Many men and women in wheelchairs live normal lives and have partners who help them do it. Understanding and trust are key to any relationship, and when dating something in a wheelchair, these aspects help partners help each other.
There have been great strides in the past 70 years or so in changing the overall perception of persons with disabilities. Wheelchair sports, wheelchair basketball and baseball in particular, showcases the talent and skill it takes to play sports in a chair to a worldwide audience. However, there is still a long way to go when it comes to changing the perception of what it means to be disabled. According to a study conducted by the Hartford, only half of Americans think disabled people can be physically fit. Furthermore, only 44 percent of Americans feel people in wheelchairs can be world class athletes. When it comes to the workplace, 46 percent of Americans feel physically disabled employees are as productive as workers without disabilities.
One of the problems facing people perception of those in wheelchairs is that people don’t ask questions. If you see someone struggling to carry their groceries at the grocery store, it’s ok to offer to help. You’ll often get a polite “no thank you,” but the gesture is appreciated. The same goes with relationships. If you are starting a relationship with someone in a wheelchair, its ok to ask questions. It’s ok to want to help.
Scott says he doesn’t do anything in particular to change peoples’ perception of him, he just treats people the way he wants to be treated. When it comes to relationships, communication is key, no matter what the situation is. If you are a person in a wheelchair who feels is being treated like a second class citizen, speak up. If you feel insecure about a relationship, talk to your partner. Two people in love should look beyond disability, and form a relationship based on communication and trust.
◊♦◊
Photo: GettyImages
We all want normal and real relationships, sometimes it is real and possible with people who are disabled. And this sentence is real deal “Communication in any relationship is the key to finding love.” If we all know that this is the most important to all of us. I must say, I have met my girl on disabled dating sites and we are in love for a long time now. True love has no limits!
My friend is disabled and he had some reservations about dating, me and my friends encouraged him to let go of his fears and step into dating community. He found easier way through dating site for disabled disabledmate.com and he found one beautiful girl. They are having a time of their life. I’m so happy for them. 🙂
‘If you feel insecure about a relationship, talk to your partner. ‘ – that’s brilliant. And if you don’t feel confidence that means you’re dating wrong person.
btw, i know some of disabled men use https://victoriyaclub.com/ to find their match