Charles Orlando gives the divorce stats and preps married folk with the ammunition to avoid splitsville.
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Divorce is all the rage. Prenumps, Hollywood-style relationships that end after 72 days… the notion that marriage is a temporary institution isn’t new. Sociologist and futurist Alvin Toffler wrote the best-seller Future Shock in 1970, and with matter-of-fact conviction, he wrote of the rising trend of “trial” or “temporary marriages” — first marriages of young people, lasting three months to three years, and of “serial marriages” that would take place after the dissolution of the “trial marriage,” happening at specific turning points in people’s lives.
Toffler’s views hold true today. Having accurately predicted the coming trends, he could see how men and women would begin to view marriage as a temporary state of being, and today the divorce rate still hovers at just over 50 percent. But that “50%” data point is just common data point. Here’s the data — culled from the US Census and the Association of Divorce Reform:
- 19.5 million adults have been divorced at least once.
- 50% of all marriages end in divorce within five years.
- Of the couples that last five years, only 50% make it to their 10th wedding anniversary (That’s a 75% divorce rate before the 10th anniversary)
- Over 80% of divorcees reference “irreconcilable differences” as the reason for separation.
Something to consider: If you’ve been married for a few years, you might have a child (or two). So, how the rising divorce rate affecting kids? Is it providing the quintessential example for children of just how temporary marriage — and all relationships — can be. Broken (divorced) homes account for:
- 63% of youth suicides
- 90% of homeless/runaway children
- 85% of children with behavior problems
- 71% of high school dropouts
- 85% of youths in prison
- Over 50% of teen mothers
In essence, not only are the adults in these relationships causing themselves heartache and challenge, but they are perpetuating the problem and showing their children — by example — precisely what a temporary relationship looks like. Not a pretty picture for our up-and-coming generations.
It is very important for both partners in the relationship to accept responsibility to make the marriage work. Being willing to put forth the effort from your side is paramount for the marriage growth. I applaud Orlando’s emphasis that it is up to both people in the marriage to do what is necessary to create a lasting, workable marriage. Divorce is too easy in our society today. It also seems that most couples we work with have had no pre-marriage or post marriage advice except what they see from their relatives. As a child of 10 marriages by my mother… Read more »
Women initiate divorce in four out of five cases, and the number one reason is not due to abuse or cheating, but because wives feel bored/unloved/unsatisfied. And most fathers/husbands are blindsided by the divorce. A huge incentive for women to file first is the power granted them by Family courts. Family courts favor the moms, plain and simple. 84% of the time mothers will get the children – and with custody of the children comes the child support/family home/power to decide the visitation schedule/power to move to another state (or country) and sometimes even alimony. The fathers find themselves alienated… Read more »
Please – those statistics are incredibly misleading. There’s a strong implication that there’s a causal link. By reporting the statistics as you do, you’re implying that marriage is the cause of those things. Don’t do that.
Please don’t over-simplify complex, social issues. And please don’t contribute to explaining away ill effect of poverty or other social inequalities.
Somebody famous once said, ‘It’s only work if you’d rather be doing something else’. Great point about effort versus work.