Dr. Adam Sheck rebuts the famous ’80s book that promises you can making a living doing what you love.
Do What You Love, The Money Will Follow is the name of a popular 1980s book by Marsha Sinetar.
To that, I say, “Bullshit!”
As a psychologist and a man in his fifties, I’m annoyed and frustrated that people have been bamboozled into believing that if they think hard enough, imagine long enough, and paint a vivid picture that they can have success.
I actually do what I love and the money is pretty damned good. Yet this doesn’t happen for everyone, nor is it in everyone’s best interest for it to happen.
We all have a unique part to play in life, and we are equally important, regardless of the appearance or apparent size of our lives. Just as in the hypothetical concept of reincarnation, not everybody was Cleopatra or Marc Antony.
My belief and experience is this: “Do what you’re good at and the money will follow.” Money is an energy exchange predicated upon the perception of value and service. You provide a service or give me something I value and I will give you money.
As an engineer turned psychologist I might be more pragmatic than some, even though I appreciate and agree with the concept that thought is creative. The execution and follow-through are also important and they are often the difference between fantasy results and genuine ones.
Though metaphysically informed, I’m not “airy fairy” about it. I own that there is much, much more in this world than the physical and that when we align with it, we can live our highest purpose, our mission, our psycho-spiritual journey.
But thinking isn’t enough, affirming isn’t enough, psychological insight isn’t enough for change and growth. Thought is absolutely important, yet action is necessary as well, at least for those of us who aren’t avatars or enlightened masters. I know that electricity works, yet I still have to get up and flip the switch to make my lights turn on (unless my iPhone has an app for that).
Back to the “do what you love” phrase. I absolutely love to sing. I do it in the shower, I’ve done it in the halls of my workplace, I’ve even sung parts of Broadway songs to my clients to make a point during a session (yes, this is my dirty secret, I’m a straight man from Brooklyn, living in Los Angeles and I love Broadway songs).
Unfortunately, my singing is not my gift, nor my calling. I could sing and perform and love it until the cows come home, but I will never make money at singing—unless somebody paid me not to sing.
On the other hand, I was really gifted as an engineer and successful at it. At the age of 25, I was project manager of a $20-million dollar engineering contract, and that’s in pre-inflation dollars.
I had no passion for it and in fact, I hated engineering and myself for continuing to do it. Love and passion had nothing to do with my success. Talent did.
Ultimately, I was guided into the field of psychology, which I absolutely love. It feeds my soul and pays my bills. I feel very fortunate to live where calling and career coincide.
It is great to aspire towards this merger, yet it won’t happen for everyone. For some, their vocation and their avocation will be different.
This could be for many reasons, including priorities and choices, current life circumstances, timing and deep rooted negative belief systems. My gift is to support people in moving through their blocks and barriers, yet not everyone wants to work that hard.
That is the bottom line for me: hard work. To truly connect to your calling, to align it with your gifts and talents, to be consistent with your values and with your passion takes effort. Living your mission, truly owning it takes work. It’s not a free lunch.
Perhaps this Brooklyn Jew has a Puritan work ethic someplace, but I think that I’m actually pretty lazy. If something is fun, I will do it and I will work my ass off, but it feels like play.
I work hard at my mission and most often the days flow and I love it. Sometimes it sucks, especially paperwork, but whatever it feels like in the moment, it happens because I take action, not because I sit and think deeply about it. Manifestation takes thought as well as follow-through.
Psychologically, it is a very young ego state that continues to perpetuate the magical thinking of “do what you love, the money will follow.” Yes it can happen, yet there are a few more steps involved and they aren’t always about fun and love.
My mission is to support and mentor you in your mission and have fun along the way. Sharing my perspective and experience is part of that.
As always, my truth isn’t the final word or the truth. I’m interested in your truth and comments, and invite you to share them here.
Tstrike,
I agree. It’s like the E-Myth Revisited, there are three parts to each business, some of us are technicians, some visionaries, some managers, some a combination. We aren’t good at all of the parts and we probably don’t like all of the parts. That’s where some of the life lessons loom.
Take care,
Adam
I always tell people that no matter how much you love your job, no matter how fulfilled it make you feel or how successful you appear to others, there will always be parts of it you hate. There will always be suck days. This is true of every job, every profession, every calling. I think the point of the phrase “Do what you love, the money will follow” has been misinterpreted as a belief that every moment will be enjoyable, every moment will be bliss. This is not true of ANY aspect of life: not childhood, not education, not marriage,… Read more »
NBI,
Thanks for your comment. I’m all for people following their dreams, yet ALSO following their calling, their life purpose, their MISSION, which may or may not be the same thing. And none of that may be about financial security, so there may be conflicting values people must deal with on their journey.
Take care,
Adam
Awesome article Sir, fresh air of logic & common sense in the age of disillusionment masked as political correctness in which everyone is told to follow their dreams in what they love to do although they are awful at it or it doesn’t provided for some measure of financial security.
Nicole, Good for you. I’m ALL for following your passion, so go for it! Passion is about passion. Calling is about calling. Maybe the money will show, maybe it won’t. The quality of your life will follow and that’s what counts in MY book. FYI, regarding your other statement, i don’t know that people are necessarily naive as much as they seem subject to the inertia of life. They tend to like and believe what they hear that agrees with their world view and hence their inertia. If they are in motion, they tend to agree with the world view… Read more »
This is an interesting conversation. I’m someone who has been given the opportunity to work towards my creative passion and I can only come at this from the perspective of someone who is ‘very’ creative. I’m someone who sees art as a service. This is not an easy path, and nobody who has ever tried to make a living by doing what they love has ever failed, we simply live in a society that does not value the creative arts nor do we value individuals who are trying to pave their own path. College and MBAs are shoved in our… Read more »
Anthony,
It sounds like you’ve got a great perspective on life. Coming from desperation rarely helps a situation. At the same time, “burning your ships” like the old time Greeks did so that you couldn’t retreat is another POV as well (no Plan B). It’s always a personal choice, yet the drive for wealth isn’t always healthy in general and often at odds with living our passions.
Wish you the best,
Adam Sheck
Although I love teaching, writing, acting and being creative, none of these “loves” have made me wealthy. This is not the point Dr. Sheck is making. I think a better way to view this is to say find a way to support yourself while doing what you love and this will prevent holding the universe hostage and keep you from being in the position where you can’t do your best work because “this has to work” (what I love) or I won’t be able to eat, pay bills , etc. The universe nor people respond well to desperation.
Louise Ann,
Thanks for your kind words. I agree, what we say is true, is true for us, the rest is up to the reader to live and discover. A few words of experience can be of help and context.
Adam Sheck
very well written article. experience ultimately shows us what is and isn’t true, and it’s an individual thing.
Katy,
I appreciate your perspective and your struggles. I agree with your list. Mine, relating to life purpose and mission (see my website) are:
1. Your gifts and talents.
2 Your values.
3. Your passion.
4. Your calling, what you are meant to contribute to the planet.
Thanks,
Adam Sheck
Sometimes, doing what we love just isn’t practical or possible, even if the money would follow. I love music, always have. I have a huge collection of LPs, CDs, and cassettes (and yes I also have an iPod and am steadily moving toward the digital world…but that’s another story for another day.) I used to write album reviews for my high school and college newspapers, and still write the occasional Amazon review. In college I dated the bass player of a now-defunct punk band with a bit of an underground following, and the summer between my junior and senior years,… Read more »
Hmmm… I think there’s more “rational logic” in the idea than your critique acknowledges. In fact, you sort of contradict your central thesis yourself, when you say right up front that “I actually do what I love and the money is pretty damned good.” You of course then immediately say that “this doesn’t happen for everyone…” which makes me wonder; what make you so special? And then you answer that question too, a bit later when you say “My belief and experience is this: ‘Do what you’re good at and the money will follow.” You imply that this outlook is… Read more »
Scott, I appreciate your thoughtful response.Congratulations on doing what you love and earning a living. In terms of contradictions,for example, I would never trust anyone that says “money isn’t everything” until they’ve had tons and tons of money. My statement comes from my personal experience as well as my professional experience of working with people for almost 25 years as a psychologist. You seem to have a balanced life including the capacity to make choices, delay gratification and express gratitude. My comments are not about deserving or about fairness or unfairness of life. My belief is that most of life… Read more »
If you have the bank of mum and dad to fall back on or a family full of support, then go ahead. When you don’t then be ready to go hungry. Thats what this book should say. I am going forth into teaching, in fact I am procrastinating from an application form for it right now! I know I’ll be fulfilled by it, hugely interested in it but I wouldn’t say it is what I love. Maybe I will love it when I’m in it but – to me ticks lots of boxes, it is what I’m good at, it… Read more »
Natty,
Back in the old, old days, an artist, a poet, a writer would have a patron to sponsor them, allowing them the luxury of time and space to create. Not sure that happens much anymore and there is certainly no free lunch.
Adam Sheck
Hear! Hear! …and, as I’ve emphasized to many rooms full of students; there is a very good chance that one may never make much money in the Creative fields, so y’all’d better be committed to and fulfilled by the work…be sure…
Kile,
Following your passion is definitely important, whether it’s vocation or avocation. It’s only one ingredient to mission and success, as I share in my thoughts about mission on my http://www.ownyourmission.com site.
Adam Sheck
Women are much more susceptible to this than men. How many doomed-to-fail little gift shops don’t you walk across daily?
I’d rate this belief on par with the current trend of unjustified sense if entitlement.
George,
I don’t know that women are more susceptible to magic thinking than men, to be honest. Many people who have poor business sense and/or experience plunge into business and quite often fail. Preparation and a solid skill set are key.
Adam Sheck
I never really fall for that ‘ secret ‘ yes the law of attraction is appealing but Iit is psychological not quantum physics. If you are to routine minded, you may miss lot of opportunities to improve your life: Nah there is to much trouble to drive xxx miles for that job, nah I dont think it suits me, nah I dont really feel taking a walk in the park etc. Instead if you are more open, you may take that job that may will improve your life or walking down the park you may encounter a long lost friend… Read more »
Mr. Supertypo.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Our life purpose and mission definitely become more clear as we open ourselves up to it. That doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with economics, though we do live on a physical plane and need to take care of the physical, no doubt about it.
Adam Sheck