Too many people find themselves caught up in other people’s lives. It is a tricky issue of emotional entanglement, and it’s not healthy at all.
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Frank Underwood is a man who knows how to pull people’s strings to get what he wants when he wants it.
Underwood, the character magnificently played by Kevin Spacey in Netflix’s “House Of Cards,” understands people’s soft spots and regularly attacks them. His meticulous ways of stirring up drama within others has led him to obtain power, secrecy and—in some cases—deep loyalty.
This man knows how to leave people feeling absolutely drained. Sure, his devotion to his wife Claire (Robin Wright)—who also knows how to maneuver the power brokers of Washington, D.C., to get what she wants—is an interesting dynamic. See, the Underwoods use drama to drain people’s energy. It leaves them more fulfilled and their dubious subjects less fulfilled.
You ever have drama moments that leave you feeling lifeless? It can happen. It’s not healthy and there are people, not characters in a television drama but real life, who would rather suck the soul energy you have inside in order to make them feel better. This picture is screwed up. You and I are going to have a discussion about letting drama drain your soul.
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Not many people may give this any thought at all. Everybody is just busy living their lives, rolling along through the day looking to get from sunrise to sunset without major incidents. Yet when the quiet moments come around, and they do, I wonder if you consider how much energy you are losing on a daily basis.
Taking care of yourself in body, mind, spirit and soul are important. Confession: There have been countless times where I have allowed other people to pretty much walk over me without putting up a stop sign. Did that help me in life? Hell no. Real-life dramatic events (dare I say traumatic?) ramp up the internal pressure inside you. Making simple decisions becomes confusing. Looking at your friends, partner or lover through realistic glasses just doesn’t happen.
Why? I believe drama’s seeds get so embedded inside of you that thinking or feeling what is going on inside takes a backseat to someone else’s issues. Puppeteers know how to pull the strings on the marionettes, making them come to life in front of audiences. The people who stir up drama over and over again may consciously or unconsciously know what they are doing.
It’s a major mind game being played and, well, there is going be a winner and a loser.
Setting boundaries around the drama kings and queens definitely can help. If there is just incessant badgering taking place, then that needs to stop. If there are dramas being created for the sake of having something to worry about, then that needs to stop. You don’t deserve a life filled with other people’s crap. It is theirs. If they cannot get their act together and seek counsel or advice, then you are not the one on 911 duties for their dramas.
Look at your life. Are you sure there are no dramas playing out? No Underwood types that are seeking to emotionally “hit” you at a weak moment? These are sick people who have no true direction in life. What they want to do is make you owner and president of their dramas. You were not born for that reason, OK. You do not have to let the “woe-is-me” cry dominate your life.
Men and women get together in their own groups and sometimes need a listening ear to problems and situations. After all, isn’t that what friends are for? To a degree. If one person is totally dumping all of their life’s woes on you during every single conversation, and there is no two-way street, then you might check to see if that drama is helpful or hurtful to you.
Sometimes, narcissism spreads its nasty smell into the insides of your soul. It happens from a blind spot that we haven’t determined exists. You and I have blind spots all through our lives. Once the shit hits the proverbial fan, though, then it’s time to do something about the steady stream of dramatic situations.
Don’t let drama drain your soul of the energy that you need to live every day.
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As I mentioned earlier, you and I do our best to get from sunrise to sunset without too many dramatic moments. (Cue the “Law and Order” ba-bum.) It’s absolutely crazy when looking at those well-meaning individuals who have zero clue that their Shakespearean renderings about this, that or the other event in their lives just drives people away.
It may take some serious, quiet moments to even parcel out what is real and what is just trumped-up drama. Do you have the ability to turn a simple problem into the world’s greatest mountain? Yes. I do, too. After all, we are human beings who get caught up in drama’s secret web. You can’t see the damned thing until you are stuck in it. Then, you look around and ask, “How did I get in this mess again?”
Family drama can be so toxic and dangerous. If you don’t know the situation or events surrounding that loved one’s life, then you can actually “forget yourself” and become slavish to their lives. You take on their characteristics, beliefs and outlook upon life. Where are you? Lost in the drama. I mean L-O-S-T.
Manipulating others so that “I feel better” is also pretty sick, too. There are people who do it regularly. They have found their “inner Underwood” and make secret deals. Ah, these aren’t ones made in backdoor meetings, street corners or through unscrupulous Internet sources. Oh no, these deals are somehow energetically arranged so you don’t feel anything. They get their energetic fix from you, thereby leaving you foggy, dazed and confused. You might even find yourself wanting to check out emotionally. It happens to all of us at times.
Yet I’d like to offer this small piece of advice. Make sure that the drama factor, instead of always being at Level 10, gets dialed back to a more manageable level. Others’ dramas do not have to become yours. In close families or work environments, this can happen rather quickly.
You do have the power to change dramatics every day. Staying present within yourself, along with knowing and understanding the people and environments you are around regularly, can bring about an inner peace. Drama cannot really outdo peace. It tries, but it falls short unless you choose to let it run your life. If you do, then your soul energy goes away.
Change your game. Be brave, stand strong, and look at yourself with love and compassion. Let others have the drama and keep your soul energy inside for you.
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Photo: AP/Netflix