How would you feel if people asked you deeply personal questions before even asking your name?
Consider this. You are out somewhere and a perfect stranger walks up to you and, in a confidential voice, asks, “So what are you, really?” You ask what they mean and they reply, “You know, a man/woman. Have you had, you know, the surgery?”
Pretty uncomfortable, right?
This happens. Along with, “You’d look more like a man if you wore _____.” “Well, but you aren’t a real woman, are you?” “What would you like, Sir?”…to the tall blonde woman in a dress and sandals.
And not just to people who happen to be trans*folk. Not conforming to gender standards opens a person up to a whole basket of thoughtless comments and questions that people would never want asked of them. Some are intended to hurt. Some are intended to degrade. Some are from misplaced curiousity, or the assumption that because someone looks or acts differently than they “should”, that they are willing to talk about themselves in an extremely open way. Some are from ignorance.
And educating people is still the best way to help them reconsider what they are saying, and why.
So, still think you’d have no problem if people asked this these kinds of questions to you? What about at your job, in front of co-workers? At a store, loudly enough so their friends can hear them? A teacher in a classroom?
Maybe it really wouldn’t bother you.
But everyone is not you.
h/t upworthy.com
This and more: LGBTQIA Resources at UCDavis