When dating someone with children, it can be difficult to make a connection and form a bond with the kids. As if it is not already hard enough for you to learn your new partner, you have to figure out this little person or people as well. Families have bonds where they always are looking out for the well-being of one another, and any time an outsider comes, they have to establish a certain level of trust before they are allowed completely into the family life
If they ask something that you are not sure about, discuss it with the mother before you answer.
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Proving that you are an ideal candidate can be tricky at times. Children sometimes can be unwelcoming to newcomers and try to make you uncomfortable, or they can be the most pleasant individuals and welcome you with open arms. Either way, the connection to the children is just as important as the bond to their parent. Remember you are dating the person, but the children will be a big part of the relationship, and it is imperative that you take the time to cultivate the relationship with them as well. I will share with you five things every man should know when dating a woman with children.
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1.Take an interest in them. Have a genuine conversation with the children where you share information about yourself and they do the same. Talk about their hobbies, school life, dreams and aspirations. Never leave a question unanswered. If they ask something that you are not sure about, discuss it with the mother before you answer. The more you talk to someone, the more the relationship tends to grow.
2. Not too much too fast. People adjust slowly to a new situation. Therefore, you can’t be overbearing with your presence in their life. Don’t expect to meet them, and have them accept you right away and want you around all of the time. If this happens, then you are the exception to the rule. Children are people too and should be allowed an adjustment period. Be patient once they open up to you, it will all be worth it I promise.
3. Don’t overreact to any situation that involves them. When in a relationship with a mother, it is important to understand how fragile the disciplining of a child can be. Men have a tendency to react differently to a child’s misbehavior than a mother. It is important always to discuss with the mother before you begin to discipline the child. Something as simple as taking away from TV time could be the catalyst to the destruction of the relationship.
4. Make time to spend together as a family. The most important thing in the development of any relationship is time. The time you spend with the children can be spent watching a movie, preparing a meal together, playing a board game or a family game of soccer or touch football. Go and support them in their extracurricular activities, show them that you are there for them. They may not openly thank you, but they are taking mental notes, and you are scoring cool points.
Children are people too and need to be respected and valued in a relationship as well.
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5. Always let them see you treat their mother like a Queen. The way you treat their mother will heavily affect their opinions about you. The mother is everything to a child, and they will not stand for the mistreatment of her. Even small disagreements must be kept from them; there cannot be one slightest question of the treatment she receives. Even the raising of your voice one octave above standard will cause them to pay attention and begin to think negatively. The better you treat the most important member of the family, the better your chances of becoming a welcomed member of the team.
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When dating someone with children, it is imperative to establish and maintain a connection with them. Children are people too and need to be respected and valued in a relationship as well. The hardest thing is to feel unwanted or like you don’t fit in a family. If the children don’t like you, then it is not likely the relationship will last. No mother wants to be in the middle of a continuous quarrel between her partner and her children. Women will more than likely choose their children over an outsider.
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This Post is republished on Medium.
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The best advice is to not date women with children, period.