Generations of boys have been forced to suppress their authentic emotional selves because of the fear of being kicked out of the man club and called a queer.
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For generations, any boy who expressed too many emotions, danced or giggled too much, or showed uncertainty in the face of the “man up” mantra of American masculinity has been accused of being a faggot.
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The legalization of gay marriage is an historic step in the movement for gay rights. Being a gay man or woman needs to become as American as apple pie. As universally accepted as baseball and fireworks on the Fourth of July. And as much as I love and celebrate this victory for marriage equality with my gay friends, (and I do!) there is also another huge generational shift happening here. This is also a victory in the struggle of all American boys to be who they truly are.
For generations, any boy who expressed too many emotions, danced or giggled too much, or showed uncertainty in the face of the “man up” mantra of American masculinity has been accused of being a faggot. The result, alongside of the brutal and murderous oppression of millions of gay men and women, there has existed a mirroring oppression, a parallel killing epidemic of emotional isolation and loneliness for all boys and men.
Generations of boys have been forced to suppress their authentic emotional selves because of the fear of being kicked out of the man club and called a queer. This has led to lives of isolation and despair for men, both straight and gay. This suppression in men of all that is perceived to be emotional and feminine, has hurt men and the women who love them equally. We all pay the price for the external suppression of our emotional selves.
Which is why we need to make being gay one of the universally accepted ways to be an American. Because the homophobic, emotionally-stunted bullies who constantly seek to police all of us, men and women, homosexual and heterosexual alike, will loose their biggest weapon when being gay is finally just a two dad or two mom family and their kids at the mall everyday plain old who cares normal.
So sing and dance today. Celebrate. Love. And know that today’s celebration is not just for millions of gay men and women, its for all of our sons and daughters.
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Photo by Bill Taroli
Read more by Mark Greene:
[VIDEO] GMP TV: BREAK OUT of the MAN BOX!
Why Do We Murder the Beautiful Friendships of Boys?
How America’s Culture of Shame is a Killer for Boys
The Culture of Shame: Men, Love, and Emotional Self-Amputation
The Man Box: Why Men Police and Punish Others
The Man Box: The Link Between Emotional Suppression and Male Violence
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer
Touch Isolation: How Homophobia Has Robbed All Men of Touch
Boys and Self-Loathing: The Conversations That Never Took Place
The Dark Side of Women’s Requests of Progressive Men
It is probably worthwhile that Bob Finch spoke up because he represents a real and present threat to LGBT people. After major breakthroughs, there have been a rash of hate crimes. Those who passionately hate us lose any semblence of decency and reduce themselves to terrorists. THey demonstrate themselves to be without principles or morals. We do need to “watch our backs”, they will physically attack us given the opportunity. they are evil petulant children with weapons. They demonstrate that they are not worthy of respect, but of our caution.
Ron thank you for your support. This poor Bob guy. He sounds full of hate and rage. Often men like that lashing out because they themselves are gay but cannot come to terms with it. They spew venom out of there mouths while secretly taking it up the butt!