We emote — period — and business leaders who don’t appreciate this simple truth are going to have a hard time connecting with their teams, their colleagues, and their customers.
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If you’ve been in business for more than five minutes, you’ve probably noticed that there are managers of all leadership styles, including those who try to run companies where there’s no place for emotion. They might call this stance “professional,” but in reality, leaders like these are just kidding themselves.
We emote — period — and business leaders who don’t appreciate this simple truth are going to have a hard time connecting with their teams, their colleagues, and their customers.
For example, I had a meeting last week with a man who was gainfully employed at the beginning of the meeting. Then, he received a text from his boss. As he read it, the grimace on his face said it all.
I let him know that it was OK to step outside and deal with it; sure enough, he returned 30 minutes later and announced that he wouldn’t be going to the presentation the next day — or to the office any longer, for that matter.
Terminated by text. Ouch.
His boss was an engineer with little management experience, and he clearly didn’t know how to handle an emotional situation. By refusing to confront the issue, he actually amplified the emotional experience of his employee.
It made me wonder: If this is how he handles this aspect of his business, how does he manage the rest of it? Do I want to do business with him?
The Benefits of Feeling
Besides the obvious tact involved in letting an employee go face-to-face, there are four practical reasons you need to learn how to navigate and embrace emotion:
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It demonstrates character. The ability to effectively embrace emotion in business is a leadership trait that portrays you as a dynamic leader who knows how to connect with your employees on a deeper level.
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It strengthens an organization’s core values. If you don’t have an emotional connection to your company’s core values, people will recognize it, and you’ll have trouble motivating your team and captivating your audience.
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It builds enthusiasm. Over time, a consistent flow of healthy emotion gives way to enthusiasm, which is contagious. Want to see your team work more productively than ever? Foster a feeling of enthusiasm.
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It gives your company more culture. Culture is everything in business because people want to work with companies that feel, act, and talk like humans.
The Best Leaders Take the Good With the Bad
It’s easy to embrace and appreciate positive emotions, but how should you respond when bad things happen?
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Respond instead of react.
A reaction is an instantaneous reflex that doesn’t consider the realities of a situation, which often leads to a poor result. Responding, on the other hand, involves taking time to receive and process information before acting.
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Be a “bad emotion” sponge.
Draw all of the negative emotions out of the person experiencing them. For some people, their “all” is quite a lot, but by taking whatever they have to give, you will help get to the core of the angst.
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Work to find the conclusion.
Once you’ve found the core of a problem, keep working through it until you reach an effective conclusion. This may mean someone ends up losing his job, but at least you came to that conclusion through a process of responding, rather than indulging in a knee-jerk reaction.
You Can Be Emotional Without ‘Reacting’
Just to be clear, getting emotional doesn’t mean losing control and behaving unprofessionally. Sometimes, people have a tendency to react rather than respond thoughtfully, and that’s when an emotional conversation can get out of hand.
We had a situation a few years ago with one of my firm’s most important clients. He was given a series of recommendations that he neglected to act upon, and one in particular led to him having to pay a significant penalty. His reaction was to call and blow up at a member of my staff.
I did a bit of research to determine the problem and find the best way to respond, and I called the client to explain his mistake. A few days later, he called again and blew up at the same staff member, driving her to tears. I asked her to tell me what happened, and then I called the client.
Me: Hi, Very Important Client. How are you today?
VIC: Fine, fine. Couldn’t be better.
Me: I understand that you had another heated exchange with one of my staff this morning.
VIC: Yeah, you know women. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.
Me: OK, I am going to need you to call her up on the phone and apologize for your inappropriate treatment.
VIC: I will do nothing of the sort. Have you lost your mind?
Me: Very Important Client, I have 300 of you and only 11 people like her on my staff. Who do you think is more important to me right now? I need to ask you again to call her and apologize.
He responded with some vulgar words, then hung up. Long story short, he was no longer qualified to be a client of our firm.
His initial negative reaction didn’t change when I responded with an opportunity to alter his behavior and correct his mistake. By responding professionally, I wasn’t shutting out his emotions. I took the time to gather and process information, and while I would have preferred that he use me as his emotional sponge, he needed someone to absorb all his negativity.
When we arrived at the conclusion, it became clear that he wasn’t a good fit for our firm.
If it seems “unprofessional” to end a relationship over an emotional ordeal, it isn’t. It’s just good business. After all, which company would you rather work with — his or mine?
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Photo: starmanseries/Flickr