Erica Christina thought she was in love. Turns out she was in a textationship.
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Does anyone talk on the phone anymore?
Like, anyone? Ever?
Because we have become overrun by texting and tweeting and Facebooking and wall statuses.
After the end of an eight-year relationship (which, at the start of, these modes of conversation were used much less and infrequently), and after I’d not dated in forever, I decided to take a stab at some “dating.” So I delved into my first post-long relationship fling thing and it was my first experience with New School Dating: The Time of Text. Granted, this was a long-distance situation (which is another article in itself) but slowly, after some Hello texts and some 🙂 Smiley texts and after I’d been Emoji-ed to death, it dawned on me:
I am in a Textationship.
That’s right. Not a normal relationship. Not even a regular flirtationship. But a textationship.
We spent more time texting than talking on the phone or Skyping (which, I tried later, in another long distance endeavor – doh! – some of us never learn—another article, no doubt) than anything else.
It’s funny to try to interpret texts, too. What if you are reading them wrong? For example:
Does he mean to sound dry?
Is he being sarcastic?
Is he just unfunny?
What does this clown emoji MEAN? Or the frog? Haha.
Do I sound like an idiot? (Don’t answer that).
Lots of these texts get, well, lost in translation.
I found myself becoming irritated, at the insane amount of texts and not much else. I approached the subject. It did not help anything. Needless to say, that situation did not go anywhere but it was an eye-opening experience.
Can’t we just talk on the phone (and yes, I learned later, we can, in fact, we can so much to the point of insanity, which I’m not sure is much better either).
Nobody wants to be the Text Girlfriend. But, it is a sign of the times. Dating in this century involves a of of technological words typed out on a computer, a smartphone, an email, an instant message. To be honest, I’m not even one who is much for talking on the phone (like, rarely, if ever!) but there must be a happy medium to be found. To be balanced.
So text away, just make sure you make time for some Real Life Conversation. Or as that famous sign says:
“No, we don’t have Wi-Fi. TALK to each other.”
Is talking face to face becoming a lost art? An endangered species? Save the Real Life Conversations!
Sigh. Love and dating in the time of Text.
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Photo: [main] KINGjeorge / flickr, [inset] imgur
Texting is a PUA tool to keep several girls on the hook….it’s cowardly and stupid…. Don’t answer…
Ever cross your mind that sometimes, not all the time but sometimes, texting, like distance, is a scapegoat for avoiding intimacy. Just a thought.
I agree. I think it’s a huge sign of insecurity when someone chooses the most guarded form of communication when other options are available. It’s also selfish in that it cuts off the other person’s ability to express their message clearly just so that the recipient can minimize risk. I get the same feeling when I call a company and get automated service when I have a unique problem. Stop wasting time and just let me communicate!
No, it’s often a good means of communicating when other options aren’t available. My gf and I used facebook messaging when I was overseas for the past month because obviously seeing each other wasn’t possible (painful for both of us) and phone calls were too expensive.
Absolutely. Sometimes it’s shorthand, like, see you at the restaurant at 6. Sometimes it’s a way to avoid the restaurant (and the conversation) completely…Text is the McDonalds of relationship skills.
well, maybe the fascist text police have been watching. I just spent 20 minutes responding to this at length, only to get an electric surge, wipe out the goddamm text. This shortened version, is that I agree with the vacuous, illusory, misleading, insidious capacity that text-based conversations, particularly in sms relationships, have. And without there being, but bring it on someone please, international sms free day, being subjugated, and subjected to the demeaning and degrading experience of sms one-upmanship…the ‘oh, I ve just got to check my messages (and reply to them) in front of your face, while you sit… Read more »
Call me dufus
My girlfriend is past 50, like me. I have a smartphone, a Kindle, a laptop with wifi, desktop PC with satellite internet, and DISH TV. She has none of those. She DID recently get a pay as you go cell phone for roadside emergencies. I love it. Hello kisses are hotter. Evening conversations are more interesting. I’m learning stuff from the audio books she listens to more than I ever thought. She’s not distracted with the addiction to reach out to anyone just for the hell of it. She’s not semi-addicted to reading other people’s responses to her semi-interesting posts.… Read more »
Just want to state that the description up there before the article says I thought I was in Lurve but I didn’t actually think that. I was just starting to navigate the dating waters and happened to discover this new land, Texting World!
I know you sexy people can relate!
Love you, Good Men Project!
It’s certainly a whole new world after a long term relationship.