Porterville County Mayor Cameron Hamilton’s message to targets of bullying generalizes and negates the bullied child’s experience.
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“I’m against bullying, but I’m getting damn tired of it being used as a mantra for everything, and the ills of the world. When all most people just have to grow a pair, and stick up for them damn selves.”
These are your words, Mayor Hamilton. The words you uttered to your fellow Porterville, California city council members when considering city Safe Zones for young male and female targets of bullying.
I have taught students for nearly a decade, and now spend my days visiting schools to battle just this issue. Believe me, the student stories are much more complex than “growing a pair” can address.
Mayor Hamilton, your words highlight just how out of touch political figures can be with the daily life of our young men and women in schools.
Join me in the classroom.
Roger has Down Syndrome. When he’s not hearing others whisper “retard” behind his back or tease him for his clearly different appearance, he’s doing his best every day to develop basic skills that will allow him to live an independent life.
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First, I’ll introduce you to Danny (name has been changed, as have all). Danny is diagnosed on the autistic spectrum, struggles with social cues and managing emotions, and has several learning needs ranging from assisting with holding a pencil to structuring his writing. He is outcast from his classmates. Spends much of his recess pacing the playground perimeter so he can avoid the relentless teasing and physical aggression from several students. He knows that if he becomes involved with the perpetrators, he’ll lose his temper and be blamed in the process.
Next, I’ll introduce you to Roger. Roger has Down Syndrome. When he’s not hearing others whisper “retard” behind his back or tease him for his clearly different appearance, he’s doing his best every day to develop basic skills that will allow him to live an independent life. Because he doesn’t fully comprehend that others are picking on him, it doesn’t register as bullying, and thus certain individuals take advantage of him and mock openly.
Then, I’ll introduce you to Layla. Academically capable, comes from an involved family, but struggles with the physical changes adolescence has brought that make her a target. After a school day’s worth of taunting and sexually explicit and unwanted touching by peers, she returns home on social media to find herself the target of gossip and relentless libel. She self-harms on a regular basis and has recently recovered from an attempted suicide.
These are children. Real children I’ve met along my journey. Children who need adult role models that will offer protection.
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Finally, I’ll introduce you to Steve. Steve just came out to his classmates, a brave step that in and of itself proves he “has a pair,” but he faces death threats and ridicule from peers. In addition, his father has disowned him, and he now searches for a place to live. A place he can feel safe.
These aren’t fictional characters. These are children. Real children I’ve met along my journey. Young men and women who don’t need their courage evaluated by a pair of hypothetical testicles. They are children who need adult role models that will offer protection.
Perhaps we can all benefit from “growing a pair”–of ears that is, because our targeted children need twice the listening and half the accusatory talk.
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Image credit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwt0kMyt6oc
Wonder if Hamilton would feel the same way if his butt was getting kicked.
Thank you for writing this. I have also written for this site as well and I live in Porterville. There’s more to the story than has been reported publicly. Mayor Hamilton only assumed his position when the previous mayor (Virginia Gurrola, who is in the video you posted) was ousted for supporting a proclamation for LGBT pride month last year. (She remains on council and is currently running for the county Board of Supervisors). The bullying thing became a controversy as well because of homophobia and ignorance. Some community members did a quick internet search on the safe zones project… Read more »
Michael,
I really appreciate you adding perspective on this issue. I had read some of the reports about the concerns some in the community had about LGBT propaganda as well as the ousting of the previous Mayor, but your response clarified things further.
Thanks for reading!
~Scott
Thank you Michael. There is more going on here than has been reported in the media and you hit the nail on the head. One report even said he supported last years proclamation. The videos from those meetings tell the real story. They said removing Gurrola from her seat was just a “rotation” so everyone gets a turn, but Hamilton has served as Mayor many times, including 2008 when our city became the only city in the entire state to endorse a resolution in support of Prop 8, pushed through by Brian Ward. In 2009 Hamilton wrote a resolution in… Read more »
“Perhaps we can all benefit from “growing a pair”–of ears that is, because our targeted children need twice the listening and half the accusatory talk.” From your lips to everyone’s ears.
“Grow a pair.” How I hate that phrase. It’s sexist and degrading. It’s victim blaming. It exemplifies everything that needs re-framing in our society. I can’t help but feel sorry for someone so out of touch with reality. I am so sorry for the people who must interact with such a person.
Jess,
Thank you for your response as well. I refuse to give the author press by naming the book (although this inadvertently does so, I suppose), but apparently, the Mayor insists this phrase was on his mind because he had recently read a business book utilizing it. The book, and the book cover (the author holding two small watermelons), moreover, while likely well-intentioned, perpetuates the sexist and degrading message you mentioned.
Thanks for reading,
Scott